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Here’s an excerpt from an email I received last week…

“…you think you’re smarter than everybody, know more than everybody, you’re a know it all, and you’re pretentious.”

Imagine my chagrin!

Let’s work backwards, shall we?

I looked pretentious UP, just to make sure (I’ve been called that before).

pre·ten·tious

[pri-ten-shuhs]

–adjective
1.
full of pretense or pretension.
2.
characterized by assumption of dignity or importance.
3.
making an exaggerated outward show; ostentatious
 
OK, I’ll concede to that one.  And why wouldn’t one want to be?
Really, it’s fun!
 
Moving on, I do know a lot, but I surely don’t know it all.
 
Like, how to fix things, brain surgery, deliver a baby, how a car works, you know, stuff like that.
 
But I am willing to do the research it takes to make it seem like I know what I’m talking about!
 
Jack of all trades, master of none…and all that!
 
I do not know more than everybody.  Take my brother, Charlie, he does math – I don’t.
 
Or my neice, Mackenzie, she’s a Doctor!
 
Or my daughter, a nurse, or my son, an auto-mechanic.
 
They’ve all got me!
 
As to the smarter than everybody, see above!  I’m pretty bright, but again, it’s a research thing.
 
And one thing I do know, it’s not everybody, it’s everyone else.
 
See, everybody is an American slang word, and really isn’t a “real” word at all.  It’s everyone.
 
And to say everybody or even more correctly, everyone would imply, well…EVERYONE including oneself.
 
So, what you really meant to say was everyone else.
 
But thanks for noticing!  Just keep reading!  I’m bound to screw UP sometime! 
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