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So, you’re in a club, lookin’ your best (in your mind) and you wonder why the hot guy across the room who’s lookin’ at ya won’t come over and chat  you UP?  You wonder, “Is it me?”.  Well, it’s not you, it’s him.  No seriously, it’s him.  Well, maybe a little bit you.

There are are plenty of reasons.

You are surrouned by too many friends.  The guy may be a guy, but he’s no fool.  He knows the minute he walks away the gaggle of geese you rode in with will rate him, and I mean all of him from 1 to 10. 

You’re drunk tipsy blotto smashed drinking too much!  No one likes a sloppy drunk!  If there’s an empty Petron bottle and 40 limes on the table, you might just be too far gone for him to get to know you.  Know when to say no!

You’re too hot – seriously, you’re too hot.  No, I mean it, your too hot.  Really, you’re just too pretty.  He’s sure you’ll shut him down, and his ego can’t take it.  But soon he’ll realize ugly guys usually end UP with the best looking women!  And he’ll come around.

You’re too sloppy-  It’s  happy hour, you’re coming from work, the blouse is a little un-tucked, and you’re make-UP needs a retouch.  Hit the ladies’ room and get pretty again.  He’ll come around.

There is a happy medium ya know!

Debbie Downer – Smile.  Daddy spent all that money on the Ortho, show those pearly whites and look like you’re havin’ a good time.  No one wants to date a drag – and if he’s into that, you probably won’t be able to get him anyway.  As soon as he realizes he’s in the wrong club, he’ll take off!

There’s another guy there – I don’t care if he’s your hairdresser, he’s still another guy!

Someone went to Jared!  If you’re wearing a four carat engagement ring, he’s not comin’ around, and you shouldn’t be there anyway, you little tramp.  After all, He went to Jared!

You seem busy-  again, it’s happy hour, leave the laptop in the car, mute the cell phone, and take that pen from behind your ear.  Now would be a good time to lose the reading glasses that you’re using as a head band.  Again, get pretty!

You’re too hard to catch – frenetic and all – A slow walk is a sexy walk.  You may have to pee like a race-horse, but you don’t have to get too the loo like one.  Slow that gallop down and give him a look when you walk by.  And wash your hands, he may introduce himself to you on your way back!

You’re a wall-flower – don’t just sit there, do something!

Your picture and phone number are on the Men’s Room Wall!  Ok, that might make him come over after all!

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