My wonderful Mother turns 91 today.
I’m a lucky guy. Both my parents are still living, and they’ve been married to each other for over 70 years.
Mother is THE most uncomplicated person I know. And although I’m sure she wouldn’t like the delivery, the song, or the band, Lynryd Skynryd was quoting her and said it best in the song A Simple Man. (Sorry for the shameless use of anything Skynyrd!)
She is also the smartest person I know, sorry Dad, I know you think you are, but really just listen to what she has said from time to time.
On my behavior:
If I can’t enjoy you, you won’t enjoy me. (She was NOT kidding!)
I’m going to smack you into the middle of next week. (I lost a lot of time as a child…really, I must have been a stinker!)
If you don’t quit that, your’e gonna get hurt…(again, she wasn’t kidding!)
On couples who were, in her words, “dooley”:
Well, at least they didn’t ruin two families.
On stupid people:
He wouldn’t know how to pour pee out of a boot if the directions were written on the heel.
On improperly clothed women:
She didn’t have on enough to wad a shotgun.
On dysfunctional relationships:
The person who cares the least in a relationship has the most control.
People who can’t trust, can’t be trusted.
On unanswered prayers:
Sometimes, no is a good thing.
On her wayward children (from time to time we were):
If you’re not happy, it’s because you’re not happy with yourself.
And on happiness in general:
Happiness is a choice.
See, I told you she was smart.
Happy Birthday Mom!