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Having grown UP in the dark ages, when we all ate dinner together at the same time at the same table in a room without a television, I’m sure I’m often considered a dinosaur.

But, alas, I often long for the days of yore when we all sat down to dinner, had a conversation, talked about our day, and Daddy read the Bible after we ate.

Things just aren’t that way any longer.

Simply because times change and the acceptance of bad-ish behavior increases, wrong doesn’t stop being wrong, and proper doesn’t stop being proper.

I’m not saying to use the right fork for the salad, and quite frankly, using one fork for salad and dinner does not bother me at all.

But there are some things that do.

Nice, Larry, real nice!

Harking back to the dark ages of my youth, hats came off the heads of men the second they crossed the threshold.  Not so any more.  Men rarely remove their ball caps to eat in public, and it isn’t just at the Waffle House, it’s everywhere.

Here are some tips that will make MY dining experience more pleasant in the event you have the good fortune to dine with me or in the same restaurant.

  • Don’t blow on your food, let it cool on it’s own.
  • Never, never, never, never, never talk with your mouth full.
  • Please don’t point at me with your knife.
  • Don’t polish your teeth after dinner with a napkin, it’s to protect your jeans, and wipe that bar-b-que sauce from the corners of your mouth.
  • Break your bread, don’t cut it, unless it’s toast…that’s OK according to Miss Manners.  And don’t slather butter on an entire piece of bread, butter each piece as you eat it.
  • If you’re dining at someone’s home, don’t salt your food until you’ve tasted it.  A. It’s insulting to the cook, and B. they may like more salt than you do, and you don’t want to over do it.
  • Don’t get drunk, it’s just tacky.
  • Don’t spit food out into your napkin or onto your plate.  Miss Manners says to “remove it with what ever you used to put it in your mouth”.   If it’s finger food, take it out with your fingers.  And be careful with that fork!


Oh, yes, take your hat off!

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