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The headline read:  “Man Treated For Crotch Injury Before Taken To Jail”

Well, let’s hope so!

The Athens (GA) Banner-Herald reported last week that a 52 year old man was treated for a crotch laceration before being taken to jail.

A cop with a heart, I’m moved already.

Police officers were responding to a ‘domestic disturbance’ near a mall in Athens, GA, the home of the Dawgs!

They heard  him threaten to kill someone – no wonder – and then beg for help – again…no wonder!

The man was found in a pool of blood on the bedroom floor covered with a blanket.

His story kept changing…

…”a woman kicked me”…

…”I slipped and fell”…

…”…a screen door…”

That looks dangerous!

The third just might be the truth.  After all, the screen door was broken.

The officers called for an ambulance, and then found that Mr. Slicedsac was wanted on felony probation violation.


When the paramedics screeched in, the man told them he had “a big problem down there” YA THINK!

But he refused treatment asking, “Is this really necessary?”

I’m thinking yes, yes it is necessary.

He became so combative that the officers had to handcuff him and put him, bleedingbalz and all in the back of the squad car.

I’m thinking some lucky dealer in Athens has a new Impala to deliver Monday!

Once at the hospital, the injured man dragged his feet in the wheel chair to stop it from rolling.

Maybe it was the loss of blood, you know, it can keep ya from thinkin’ straight!

He spit on the cop! 

Could this get any better?

Wait for it…

He shouted profanities in the waiting room, and cussed so badly at the female nurses, that a male nurse was brought in to sew him UP!

He’s now charged with simple battery for spitting on a police officer who was brought in the relieve the first officer who was obviously worn out and worried about his car.

He was also charged with disorderly conduct and criminal trespass for breaking the door.

Oh, yes, and a probation violation.

In related news, the President of Numnads Screen Door Company, Lorena Bobbit announced today that it is recalling Model B-1765!

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