Ok, 2010 or MMX is rapidly approaching, so it’s time for some New Year’s Resolutions.
I don’t make them, but I’m sure there are plenty who do, and plenty who need to do so.
I just know that, well, like the Fonz, why mess with it!
So GUYS, here are a few things you should remember for 2010…
- Do NOT come home from work and ask “What have you been doing all day? Really, it’s just not well recieved. Trust me on this one. Asked once, answered FOREVER!
- A waffle maker, even if it is a Belgian Waffle Maker (which I want BTW) is not an appropriate Valentine’s Day Gift. It’s just around the corner, Kroger already has the candy out, and we need to start thinking about it now. Jewelry, candy, flowers, cruises, but no Waffle Iron! Or any other appliance or practical gift for that matter.
- Cologne is not a good gift! It implies that you A. don’t like the way she smells, or B. that she could smell better. LIVE WITH IT! If she asks for cologne, don’t fall for it…get her a gift card to Macy’s if you have no imagination, but really cologne is a no no! And while we’re on the personal stuff, lingere is for YOU, not for her!
- Relsolve to speak less about yourself and more about her. You’re probably a good father, husband, golfer, cook, driver, but you’re not the best, and you’re not better than EVERYONE else, and you may not be better than her. So, think of nice things to say, like when she’s driving, you know…”Thanks for keeping me from getting a DUI babe!”
- Resolve to never complain about a meal. This includes faces as well…don’t make them. Brussel Sprouts are good for you, Man UP and eat them. After all she may have slaved all day over the Brussel Sprout Souffle ya know!
- Resolve to try on clothes when you’re shopping with her. There are several reasons really, but mainly, it will piss her off majorly if you just grab a pair of jeans in your size and dash to Bon Qui Qui at the check out counter. She wants to see them on you and make sure they fit…see Fashion Friday for advice on this one.
- Resolve not to be “the smartest guy in the room”, she probably knows more than you about many things, NEVER correct her, let her FINISH a sentence. Just because you CAN finish each others sentences doesn’t mean you should.
- Reslove to do more around the house and NOT BRAG about it. She probably has a “real” job too. She probably would love for you to pick those skivvies off the floor and not expect a reward…tidyness isn’t an Olympic Sport, and you’re not Michael Phelps!
- Resolve NEVER to criticize a new look. Hair, make up (even if it’s clown make up), shoes (again, clown shoes), dress, halter top, Harley T-shirt….JUST DON”T DO IT. She worked hard on the look, paid good money for it, and expects to reap the rewards. Fake it buddy, she’s probably been for years! AND LASTLY…
- When she goes out and you’re stuck with your own offspring…DO NOT REFER TO IT AS BABY SITTING. It isn’t. They’re yours, well, at least you hope so!
Make it a smart New Year!