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Top 10 11 reasons why they didn’t go to the reunion.

  1. I have nothing to wear.  No, you have nothing that fits!
  2. No one will remember me.  No, you’re afraid they WILL remember you.  Shouldn’t  have been so “naughty” in high school!
  3. It’s at a crummy place.  Actually, it was very nice, but the cops did show UP!  More on that later.
  4. My old girlfriend/boyfriend will be there, and she/he isn’t over me yet.  Trust me, they’re over you, I think YOU’RE not over them!
  5. I’ll be in China doing missionary work and teaching English to the masses.   Ok, that’s just lame!
  6. I couldn’t get an affordable flight.  No, but you can fly to every U of M Football Game for the last 30 years!  Now, we know where we stand!
  7. I was banned from the Eagles Lodge.  Hasn’t everyone been at one time or another?
  8. I have to take care of my grandchildren so my daughter can work.  I’m sure there’s another stripper off tonight, and she can watch them!
  9. If I miss anymore work, I’ll get fired.  Well, we wouldn’t want that to happen…AGAIN!
  10. No one treated me very well in HS, and I don’t care if I ever see them again.  Listen you loser, I was stuffed in a locker everyday of my life for 12 years, dragged into the girls restroom, and got beat UP by a GIRL my Senior year…but after 40 years and $100,000 worth of therapy, I went!  You should have Manned UP and dragged your sorry ass self over there!
  11. It’s not my work release weekend yet.  I can’t believe a guy as smart as you hasn’t figured out a way around that ankle bracelet!

But, we missed you anyway, and we talked about you too!

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