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Top 10 11 reasons why they didn’t go to the reunion.
- I have nothing to wear. No, you have nothing that fits!
- No one will remember me. No, you’re afraid they WILL remember you. Shouldn’t have been so “naughty” in high school!
- It’s at a crummy place. Actually, it was very nice, but the cops did show UP! More on that later.
- My old girlfriend/boyfriend will be there, and she/he isn’t over me yet. Trust me, they’re over you, I think YOU’RE not over them!
- I’ll be in China doing missionary work and teaching English to the masses. Ok, that’s just lame!
- I couldn’t get an affordable flight. No, but you can fly to every U of M Football Game for the last 30 years! Now, we know where we stand!
- I was banned from the Eagles Lodge. Hasn’t everyone been at one time or another?
- I have to take care of my grandchildren so my daughter can work. I’m sure there’s another stripper off tonight, and she can watch them!
- If I miss anymore work, I’ll get fired. Well, we wouldn’t want that to happen…AGAIN!
- No one treated me very well in HS, and I don’t care if I ever see them again. Listen you loser, I was stuffed in a locker everyday of my life for 12 years, dragged into the girls restroom, and got beat UP by a GIRL my Senior year…but after 40 years and $100,000 worth of therapy, I went! You should have Manned UP and dragged your sorry ass self over there!
- It’s not my work release weekend yet. I can’t believe a guy as smart as you hasn’t figured out a way around that ankle bracelet!
But, we missed you anyway, and we talked about you too!