I recently read an article called “8 Things Your House Guest Won’t Tell You.”
It was pretty tame, and I must say, incomplete.
It included, My water glass left a ring on your table. After I turned out the light, I hit my knee on the bed. I’m hungry. I woke UP at the crack of dawn. I hate the giant boquet in my room. I worry about waking you UP. I’m really cold at night, or really hot. and I can’t find a place to charge my phone.
Seriously, YAWNIER than Yanni!
And they went on to sell you things, to make your guest feel more comfortable.
So, I’ve come UP with a few more…just to make it interesting.
- You have no taste what so ever, and that thrift store decor in the guest room gave me a headache!
- You may think your sheets are 600 thread count, but they feel like sandpaper!
- I (or my spouse as the case may be) peed all over the bathroom mat in the middle of the night because I (or he as the case may be) was too lazy to turn on the light.
- Your Grandmother’s recipe for Tuna Casserole sucks – out loud!
- You need to UPdate your magazines in the crapper!
- And buy better toilet paper!
- You don’t walk, you stomp around your house! Who can sleep with that going on?
- I thought someone had brought an earthmover into the yard, but then I realized it was your snoring!
- Your neighbors are running a meth-lab in their garage.
- You have bed-bugs, now!
Just so you’ll know.