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…I stopped at the store on the way home last evening.

I only had six items.

There was a line.

I was not amused.

At first.

But, alas, the rags in the check out line gave me food for thought, and some knowledge I’m sure I could have lived with out.  I pretended not to…but I was looking, scanning, folding down the pages I wanted to re-read…like I said, there was a line.  But, there was news.

Kim Kardashian’s boobs aren’t real.   Sorry Papa K!

Brangelina are heading to Africa where they can shop for adopt their seventh child.  (Mrs. Duggar say’s they’re posers and Angie is a wuss for buying adopting her kids and not birthing them.)

Scarlett Johansen thinks America’s Sweetheart, Sandra Bullock is a home-wrecker.  She even called Sandra a “man hungry tramp”!


Brad Pitt hates Rob Lowe. 

Who doesn’t?

Kirstie Alley is fat!  Um, that’s not news.

Carry Underwood’s husband doesn’t give a puck about monogamy.

Nicole Kidman gave birth without actually being pregnant…WTH?

And my favorite, President Obama has lost weight!

Now, one theory is that the whole birth certificate thing has him so UPset he can’t eat.  He’s worried to death that people will “find out the truth”!

Yeah, I’m sure that’s it.

Theory two:  Stomach Parasites.

One Rag says, “The real reason behind President Obama’s shocking weight loss – he’s secretly battling stomach parasites!” 

This is all according to “sources close to the President”.  What, Hilary gonna’ make a run for the White House again?

Supposedly, the president caught the parasites on a trip last year to Hawaii, where he and his family also vacationed over Christmas, again, this is all “according to top political insiders”.

“Barack has wanted to keep the stomach parasites under the radar,” revealed a close source.  

OK, who calls him Barack?

Of course, he was reckless, after all, “There had been a public health warning about them in Hawaii when he caught them.”

Concerned sources say extreme stress and a poor diet caused by his hectic schedule have contributed to the 6-foot-1 president’s skeletal look.

A totally in shape and complety worked out Mrs. Obama “is fearful he’s close to a physical collapse,” again, from an insider.

“He appears to be wasting away. ”

And I appear to have wasted some time!

But, I did have a coupon.

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