Almost one down too many!

I had a great time, too much driving, but I did get to see everyone I wanted to…with an exception or two.

I saw Mother, all my siblings, some high school friends, and of course Peggy after 38 years.

I had lunch with one of my most faithful readers and commenters, Jana B, at KJ’s Kitchen in Downtown Germantown, Ohio.

Whoot!

And after all the Florentine frivolity in Germantown, I headed back to the mountain retreat of my brother and his wife,  a.k.a. Jenny’s parents.

The trip is longish, not bad, and the drive is pretty;  the beautiful farms of Southern Ohio, The Scioto River, The Ohio River, West Virginia, The Kanawha River, the mountains, Virginia…pretty stuff.

Crappy cell phone service, but pretty scenery.

Once I had cell service along the West Virginia Technology Corridor – and they aren’t kidding about that – I got a voice mail from my brother Charlie.  It said, “Hey, Paul, we had new gravel put down on the drive today, so when you start UP the hill, keep your momentum and don’t stop.”

First of all, it’s not a hill.  It’s a mountain, and it’s straight UP.

Secondly, I had my momentum, but the gravel at the top was just too deep, and I got stopped, I didn’t stop, the car stopped. 

So, with no where to go, I started to back down the drive.   I used my mirrors, I paid attention, I thought I was doing just fine.

I don’t back well.

Really, not well at all.

And this is where I ended UP.

I had no idea just how close I was to the side of the mountain.

It’s about a 200 foot drop, or in this case, roll, ’cause that’s about what I was going to do.

Charlie came flying over the hill and said, “Stop!”, “Don’t move!”, “Get out of the car!”

OK, I was frustrated already, and getting out of the car requires moving, so I was a tad confused!

After a quick assessment by Charlie, he camly  said, “We’re gonna’ have to get a tow truck.”

Once I looked down over the hill/mountain, I was no longer calm.

After a quick change of underwear and a call to AAA, I went inside expecting the groaning noise of a Jeep Liberty rolling down a hill any minute, much like the noise from the Speilberg movie “Duel” from the 1960s…if you haven’t seen it, rent it.

AAA asked me if my vehicle was in a safe place.

Ah, NO!

It’s amazing how fast they respond when you tell them your car is precariously perched atop a mountain road and ready to fall.

After a few questions, a few return calls to give us status, Buster and Joey showed UP from Amherst,VA…a couple of mountains or, about an hour away.

Seriously folks, it’s the hills.

The first thing Buster, pictured on our right above, said was, “I don’t know what the hell ya think I’m gonna’ be able to do, I can’t get this thing around.”

He wasn’t kidding.

After a quick assessment of the situation by Buster…

…there was much conversation between Joey and him…for a few minutes, even they were at a loss.

That’s Buster under the car, by the way.

Buster’s dissappointment at the fact that my Jeep is NOT a four wheel drive vehicle, was only surpassed by my terror when he got into it and tried to ‘drive it out”. 

Joey in the background screaming, “Stop, stop, she’s ready to fall!”  did not help AT ALL!

It was deemed, by the professionals that the only way to get my car moved was to pull it out.

But, with what?

Well, about this time, Jenny, my lovely niece of MomminitUP fame, her husband, three children, and my sister-in-law, arrived in the ‘road-test” vehicle Mitsubish had loaned them for the trip.

It, thank goodness, is an all wheel drive!

So, with Buster and Joey’s straps and chains hooked to some never-to-loan-Jenny-a-car-again dealership’s Mitsubishi, Buster at the wheel of my car, and Bobby at the wheel of his, they pulled it out, and UP the rest of the hill, who are we kidding mountain.

Oddly enough, I had no idea I was that close to the edge when backing UP.  In an instant, I could have rolled over that hill. 

Now, that’s a vacation spoiler.

But, alas, Shakespeare was right, all’s well that ends well.

Plus, Joshua had already barfed in the Mitsubishi anyway, so what’s a little towing gonna’ hurt?

Really, I wish I could.  I talked to my boss about a week on a week off schedule. 

He didn’t buy it!  So, I guess I’ll have to tough it out.  But on the trip, along with the mountains, monument, motels, and motorcycles I saw, I saw a few bumper stickers.

I hate bumper stickers, I don’t have any, won’t have any, and really think they make a car look tacky. 

Here are a few.  (That I can actually show you!)

It’s a bit much, but at least it hides an ugly car.

That’s workin’ well!

Some people just come in dead!

I don’t!

He probably would!

Aren’t you supposed to?

Ouch!

I met them!  They’re aptly named.

Nice try, but I still think he was drunk!

At least he doesn’t hit them!

Probably my favorite!

Charlie don’t surf!

Well, it costs a lot to run a country!

Working for a living is a burden!

OK, I was in the mountains!

1-800-Safe Auto?

Like I said, it takes a lot to run the country.

So many to choose from.

And finally…

She wasn’t kidding.

and

It’s always nice to go,  But it’s always good to get home, even though I had a wonderful time. 

I drove, as I usually do.  I like to drive.  I can stop, see more, and find new things to enjoy.

2138 miles later, the car needs another oil change, a bath, and a serious cleaning out.

Unpacking’s a chore, laundry will take all day, and it’s back to work today.

The lawn needs mowing…for some reason, the trash didn’t go out…I have nine AJC Crosswords to do …. and did I mention the laundry!

There is mail to sort, blogs to think about, blogs to read, email to answer, calls to make, bills to pay, and house plants to toss.

I’m glad to be home, have a job to return to, and people who missed me.

Some people I must acknowledge for making my trip so special:  My brother, Charlie and his wife Diane for putting me UP in the “cottage” they call Blue Ridge Blessing in VA, Mother and Daddy for welcoming me home, my Aunt Willie for not making me eat since I’d eaten before I got there, my sister, Zola for going through old pictures with me and sharing memories,  Judy and Ann for the quick break on the way, my nieces and nephews for coming to see me, and making dinner so much fun, Andrea of mommysnacks fame and her family for coming to meet me, it was nice to put a face with the name, the charming toll taker on the West Virginia Turnpike who took the $2.00 toll in pennies and dimes and ignored the line of traffic behind me while she counted it, Dale and Tiffany at Frisch’s in Chillicothe for making one of my favorite meals more special, Gayle at the Waffle House Dayton Mall (across the interstate from the new Carmax which opens June 19), and Beverly at the Waffle House in Lexington for getting my Redneck Latte Right, the countless gas station clerks who eyed me from behind glass windows while I paid at the pump, the awesome people at Marion’s Pizza by the Dayton Mall who make the best Yankee Pizza ever, AT&T and Carolyn who sold me the Wireless device that allowed me to “blog from the road”, all the people along the road who shared a smile, wave, or kind word, and who agreed to read my blog and DID, and the wonderful people at the Exxon in Buena Vista who made coffee I could stand to drink during the long morning drive to the Waffle  House in Lexington, really, 12 miles without coffee…you gotta be kiddin me!!

And of course, Dwight D. Eisenhower and the Interstate Highway Commission!

I’ll get Redneck Latte Ravings back on track with the things you are used to this week.

Thanks for reading!

It’s back to abnormal.

It’s the home of Emily over at MomminitUP, but it is best known for it’s Covered Bridge, the only inverted bow bridge in existance in the world, Miss USA 1981, Kim Seelebrede, the Pretzel Festival, the Germantown Dam,  three State Football Championships, beautiful Victorian Homes, the By Jo theater, Camp Miami,and a couple of nasty murders. It lies in the heart of Montgomery County, Ohio, and is considered “The Jewel of The Twin Valley”.  Twin Valley meaning Twin Creek, an off shoot of the Great Miami River which runs through nearby Dayton.

The Covered Bridge…

…has fallen in a couple of times due to idiotic drivers in delivery trucks trying to miss all the “busy in-town traffic”.   After all, there are over 4,000 people living there!  And was nearly destroyed in the 1960s.  It was restored some time about the time I was twelve.  I remember being an  historic conservationist at an early age and helped to “campaign” for it’s salvation.

Kim Seelebrede…

…left Germantown after becoming Miss Ohio and then Miss USA, and is now a Life Coach and Licensed Therapist in New York City.  She has a great website…you should check it out.

The Pretzel Festival is fairly new, they never did that when I was a kid. 

We had homecoming parades, Memorial Day and Fourth of July Parades, and Founder’s Day.  But not much else.

Speaking of Founders, Germantown was founded by Philip Gunkle back in 1804, only one  year after Ohio became a state.  Phil hailed from Germantown, PA, and brought his German work ethic, Lutheranism, and a great town plan with him…along with a large family and following.  The German names abound, and there were at one time nearly as many Zs in the phone book as Bs…all forty pages of it.

The Germantown Dam is part of the Miami Conservancy District and was built after the Great Dayton Flood happened back in the early 1900s.  I’m not so sure what was so great about it.

There is a beautiful park there, and many a church picnic,  high school party, date, and conception have taken place UP there.

The park is beautiful.

The By Jo was big doings when I was a kid, but now, not so much.  They still show movies though. 

The football Championships were back in the 1990s, and after 80 years of lethargy, Germantown became Football Crazy.  When I was in school, the football games were a social event.  We rarely won many games, and we never won the fight after!

…But we were the first class to graduate from the new High School…back in 1970!

The old Victorian Italianate Homes are stunning and well preserved.  People in Germantown for the most part take pride in what they have and what they’ve worked to accomplish.  It’s a pretty place.

Camp Miami was a military school at one time; when I was a kid, it was a Methodist Camp.  After the Baptist Church, where my dad was pastor, and the Lutheran Church, the Methodists had the biggest crowd.

And of course, there’s the Fish, er Florentine Hotel. 

Someone famous stayed there, but I never knew who!  It was too late for George Washington, though some claim it was he.

Germantown, it’s a pretty place, you should check it out! 

The murders I’ll leave alone.  I don’t like to gossip and all!

When I started out Tuesday AM, I was UP on the Blue Ridge Parkway, checking the blog and making sure it was ready! 

When I ended the day, I was speeding through the rolling farmlands of Southwestern Ohio.

Both beautiful in their own way. 

The Timberlands of Virginia gave the settlers wood for fuel and homes; the farmlands of Ohio, food for the nation and the world.

I left Buena Vista about 6 AM.

This town tells it like it is, and I think I met two of them while I was there.

They don’t have one of these…

So I had to drive to Lexington and get coffee and breakfast.

On the road….

Some things I saw along the way…

Wild and Wonderful West Virginia…

The ride is different than it was when I was a kid some eons ago.  The WVA Turnpike, the only toll road in America that never earned enough money to pay for the interest on the loan, has become one with Interstates 77 and 64, and one no longer sees the old sites or goes through the old tunnel. 

As kids, we looked forward to the tunnel and badgered Dad to honk the horn all the way through. 

He did sometimes.

The old lady selling Chenille bedspreads is long dead, and I never got the huge king-sized one with the big purple butterfly that I wanted.

Maybe that’s a good thing.

The travel plazas sell Starbucks!

And have Burger Kings!

The Road we used to follow was US Route 60, now called the Midland Trail.  A beautiful and exhausting drive, it’s truck free.  Back then, hours could be lost if we got behind a log truck or any other semi.  Now, they whiz by at 65 and 70 miles an hour on the pike.

They still charge on the turnpike though!

I passed by signs instead of towns.  We used to see Hawks Nest and Gauley Bridge and Alloy and Cheylan, but now we see exit signs telling us how far from the exit they are…progress…maybe…but, I’m not sure.

I stopped to get gas, and the lady behind the counter was kind enough to wait on me after she finished balancing her check book.   But, really, it’s all good, I wasn’t in a hurry!

I waited patiently until she finished her phone call too.  But, again, no rush.

Off I-64 and onto US 35, my never UPdated Garmin went crazy trying to figure out just exactly which road I was on.  It finally did, once I hit the part of 35 that’s “old” in Ohio.   Garmin woke UP, and we were both on track!

Then on into Ohio.

The Silver Bridge fell in November of 1967, several people died.

And apparently, I see too many Richard Gere movies, because he was in the Mothman Prophecies, which is VERY loosely based on the real life tragedy.

The new bridge…

…is taller, wider, and safer.

That was the first year we didn’t go home for Christmas, Daddy hadn’t found a new way.  But we had to go in January because Grandpa died. 

Once I crossed the Ohio River over the Silver Memorial Bridge, instinct made me look for a Frisch’s Restaurant!

…where I a Swiss Miss Sandwich and French Fries…

…quite the international meal for small town Chillicothe!

I passed the Bob Evans’ Farm…yes, there really is one.  All that sausage at the grocery store may not come directly from there, but Bob was a real man, had a real farm, and put Rio Grande (pronounced RYE-O Grand), Ohio on the map.

Along 35 through that part of Ohio, it’s town after town, farm after farm, and field after field.   Trippies is gone, The houses have changed, and the New 35 goes over the Hog Farm that held UP it’s progress for so long.

Through Dayton, Kettering, and into Miamisburg on i-675, it’s all suburbia…

…but you cross the Miami River head UP the hill, and a left on route 4…Germantown is just down the hill.

More on that on Thursday…it’s time for dinner with Mother and Daddy.

Just a note to the Honorable Governor Strickland, that 2 speed limit thing, one for cars and one for trucks, “what UP wid dat?”

Virginia Military Institute

Washington and Lee University where the Lee Chapel and Museum contain all of Martha Washington’s family paintings.

Robert E Lee and his family are buried there.

Stonewall Jackon’s grave.

The George C. Marshall Museum

and my birthplace.  The only home Stonewall Jackson ever owned.

Even Hollywood likes it.  They filmed Sommersby with Jodi Foster and Richard Gere here.  I know the love scenes are hardly believable, but the movie’s great.  Rent it!

I’ll be on the road today going UP to Ohio…if you don’t see your comments, it’s because I have no wireless in the mountains of West Virginia.

Right now, there’s a cell tower right UP above me!  So, it’s working!

Seriously, look at this!

This is the Maury River at a place called Goshen Pass.  The water is freezing most of the year but people were everywhere this weekend soaking UP the sun and welcoming the Summer!

I went to church in Kerrs Creek.

This is the church where my Dad was Pastor when I was born.  It didn’t look like that then, and I knew only one person there…but, it’s been a few  years! 

Then on to my Aunt Willie’s place, where my cousin and her three daughters were visiting…practically a family reunion.

She’s 94 and has decided to only plant tomatoes in her garden this year!  She once told me the worst thing about getting old was “not being able to wear your high heels to church.”  If that’s the worst thing about getting old…bring it on…I don’t wear them anyway…after all, this ain’t the 70s and Disco is Dead!

Of course we spent time with my brother’s grandchildren…they put on a talent show.  One, Drew, completed the Rubik’s Cube in 21 seconds.  It takes me longer than that to pull the stickers off and move them around…I only recently found out you’re actually supposed to turn the thing different ways…hmmm…and all these years…oh my!!

Aside from the family, which is my main draw, Virginia has so much more.

As a Virginian, I”m drawn back there once or twice each year.  There is so much here.  Mountains, The Atlantic, History, Beauty, Horses, Good Southern Food (I’m at the Waffle House RIGHT NOW!)  and more.

It’s the state that gave us Washington, Jefferson, Madison, and the Bill of Rights!

It has it all from Jamestown to Martinsville to Alexandria and South Boston. 

NASCAR, Washington and Lee, VMI, UVA, VA Tech…Go Hokies and more. 

Battlefields, mansions, historic homes and places,

and the 100th anniversary of the Boy Scouts! 

It also has this…

I’ll not go into the mind numbing details of the entire trip. 

But I’ll UPdate you from the road.

I’m on one!

I’ll be blogging about my adventures for the next week.

And today, May 29 is the anniversary of one of my favorite historic events.

The Restoration of the British Monarchy after the Cromwell Disaster.

King Charles II was restored to the throne of Great Britain after over six years of Commonwealth and Protectorate Rule.

When Charles became King, he forgave most who had “rebelled” with the exception of those who were in on the trial and execution of his father, King Charles I.  They were hanged, drawn and quartered.  (Google it, it ain’t pretty.)

Charles also restored fun to England – maybe a bit too much.  The theaters were reopened and the bawdy ‘Restoration Comedy” became a recognizable genre of theater.  Women were allowed to perform on stage for the first time as well. 

Puritanism lost its momentum.  Things got a little crazy for a while!

The Official Interstate Symbol

You may or may not know, I recently made a roadtrip (nine states, 1741 miles, six days, most of it at 70 MPH) to attend an awards dinner, see my folks, and scarf some of my lovely niece’s (www.momminitup.com) time and knowledge to set up this blog.  I couldn’t have done it without her and I couldn’t have done it without Ike.  I’m just not a flyer.  I will, but there has to be a serious infusion of valium or some other sedative and me likes to drive!!

President Eisenhower, who, when he came back from kicking hiney in Europe (for the second time) realized that Hitler’s a******iness aside, the Germans had one good idea.  And being a Great American (which he was) did the American thing the American Way, he stole it.

It is called The Interstate Highway System.

The Dwight D. Eisenhower National System of Interstate and Defense Highways, commonly called the Interstate Highway System is a network of limited-access highways in the US.  It along with NASA, the Microwave Oven, Instant Replay, Teflon, the Internet, and “Dancing With The Stars” is one of, if not the best creations of the 20^th Century.

It connects the country in ways we never knew before 1955.

It’s a Godsend.

It’s a miracle.

As of 2006, it had a total length of 46,876 miles (75,440 km-for international readers) making it both the largest highway system in the world and the largest public works  in the history of mankind.  (Take that Great Wall of China!)

It was authorized by the Federal Aid Highway Act of 1956.  On June 29 to be exact, I was four years and three days old.  It had been lobbied for by The BIG THREE (now currently the BIG ONE).   They knew if Americans could get there, they would drive there.  They would buy more cars.

Ike had no idea what it would become.

It would make commercial and private traveling easier, but his real thought was, if the US gets invaded, we need a way to get troops around

A federal highway system was planned as far back as 1921, but nothing like the interstate was thought about until Ike came into play.

And thank God he did

.

When we moved from Virginia to Ohio on the last day of 1957, we took US 60 across Virginia and West Virginia until we hit US 35, then 35 across Southern Ohio and into Dayton, where we hit State Route 4 to Germantown.  It is a beautiful, but exhausting ride. 

There were seven of us, Mother and Daddy and the five children.    One was a 10 month baby, two others were carsick the entire way.  I was not one of the carsick ones.  I had to ride on the hump in the middle as baby brother had taken my place in the front seat (no I’m not over it), and the two hurlers needed ready access to a window.  Really, one did not want to be between them and the windows.  Just not a good plan!

Oh yeah!  It was a picnic.

It took about fourteen hours!

But eventually, all that changed.

As the years passed by, more and more interstate was added and completed.  (Kudos to Nebraska for finishing theirs first…trying to get out, or trying to bring people in…who cares, they were first.)  I remember Mother saying when we were on the Interstate, “we’re making good time, this is good road.” 

She was, as always, right on the money.

That trip from Germantown, Ohio to Lexington, Virginia is now a seven hour trip.

Thanks Ike!

Not only did it change my ride from a horrid trek to a pleasure trip, it changed the country, Towns grew because of it.  Towns went away.  People got to see things they would never have bothered with simply because they were on the way.  Billboards grew, barns got painted with “See Rock City”, and “Burma Shave” started an ad campaign that made riders and drivers smile.

Thanks Ike, I still like you!