Halloween is supposed to be fun.

Recently in the AJC and on TV and the Internet, I’ve run across posts, articles, and shows that advocate a Healthy Halloween.

Bull!

OK, people, Halloween is a night to rake in the goods, real candy, good candy, none of the cheap stuff, and enough candy to make a six year old hurl for three days!

All you Earth Shoe wearing freaks need to drop out of ‘Occupy the Pumpkin Patch’ and get with the program!

Hit Wal-Mart, Target, Kroger, and the A&P and pick UP a bag or two of good, gooey, fattening, yummy candy!

What kid wants Lite pop corn balls?

Fruit drink boxes.

Boiled peanuts.

BRAN Muffins…ok, who are we kidding her?

String cheese.

Raw Veggies.

Deviled eggs!

Cereal bars, trail mix, pumpkin seeds…this is madness!

Jello Jigglers.

One dentist is giving out tooth brushes and floss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One guy is going to give containers of Pumpkin Soup, which I’m sure will look lovely splattered on his car!

A man in Atlanta, along with is completely brainwashed daughter set UP a cemetery in his front yard; it has a tombstone that simply said “Candy Bar”.

He’s giving homemade play dough as treats.

I’m waiting for the follow UP story on how many parents are going to sue his sorry ass him when the kids are rushed to the hospital because they swallowed the play dough thinking it was candy.

Let’s just say, if I show UP at your house trick or treating and walk away without a Milky Way…well, someone’s gonna’ need new tires!

Timothy Leary would be 91 today if he were still alive.

There may be a whole generation out there who don’t know who he was, but there is an entire generation who remembers him VIVIDLY!

…or, meet our Ass Of  The Week!

I remember painfully trying to print so that Mrs. Basham, my first grade teacher could read what I wrote.  I remember cursive!!!  At the time, I didn’t understand that cursive was called that for a reason, but curse we did in our own third grade way!

Accused bank robber Thomas Love may have done better if he’d had Miss Pearl Rogers of the Blue Hair and Jersey dresses that I had!

Apparently his “robberty note” was so poorly written that the teller couldn’t figure it out!

He was arrested Saturday not long after he handed a note to a teller at the WSFS Bank in New Castle, Del.  It sadi something along the lines of “give me the money, but no dye packs.”  She handed it back to him and asked that her re-write it so that she could read it.

I could see Miss Pearl Rogers doint that too!

He bolted from the bank and the teller “partnered” with one of her peers.  Two heads working better than one, they came UP with the suspicion that Mr. Love was trying to rob the bank.

The police were called.

Mr. Love was apprehended, arrested and Dano booked ‘im right on the spot!

And, it’s not just the crappy cursive that landed him in the pokey or wins him our coveted Ass of the Week award.  Mr. Love threw the note away, in a trash can, down the street from the bank.

Yeah, you’re it, Mr. Love!

Congrats!

The White House identified Wyoming as Colorado on a map this week.  Every one’s all a twitter about it.

Wyoming is the white square, and Colorado is the blue one.  President Obama was in California, Washington, and Colorado recently, and the map was given to the Press Corps.

Since it must have been a slow news day, and bin Laden is already dead, this is news!

Stuff happens;  potato becomes potatoe, Whittier isn’t really Whittier, and someone can’t pronounce the name of the President of Iran.  (Who’d want to?  and I can’t either!)  To err is human…

So, they made a mistake, after all, they are both kinda square-ish!