Archive for the ‘ Regrets ’ Category

Train Wreck TV

Why do they call it The Learning Channel?

Honestly, Toddlers and Tiaras, Hate Kate Plus Eight, 19 Kids and Counting, and now, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo!!

The Cast!!

The show features the “break-out” star of Toddler & Tiaras, Alana aka Smoochie/Honey Boo Boo/Honey Boo Boo Child  Thompson.  She and her family live in McIntyre, (yes, though I hate to admit it) Georgia.

McIntyre, with a population of under 1,000 people is in Wilkinson County, GA and about 2 hours from Atlanta.

The Thompson family consists of June Shannon aka Mama, Mike “Sugar Bear” Thompson (they aren’t married), Anna “Chickadee” Shannon (she’s not married) and her baby, Kaitlyn Shannon, Jessica “Chubbs” Shannon, and Lauryn “Pumpkin” Shannon.  And of course, Honey Boo Boo, Alana, the “break-out” star.

Alana Honey Boo Boo Thompson

The family, along with their tacky nicknames perpetuate the Southern mystique of lunacy, bad taste, inbreeding, bad taste, stupid names, bad taste, asinine behavior, bad taste, bratty kids, bad taste, excess in everything, and, oh, in case I forgot to mention it, bad taste!

I mean really bad taste.

The show, like the family is a train wreck!

Train Wreck!

Mama, who after a grueling three week diet is down to 303 lbs (from 309), says things like, “I’m not letting myself go, I look good when I wanna look good,” and takes no offense when her daughter refers to the ‘crust on her neck’.  The crust, BTW turned out to be dirt caked in the fat rolls of her neck.

Really?

Oh, hell no, she’s not letting herself go at all.  I’m sure the Macy’s Cosmetics counter sells neck crust by the buckets!

June Mama Shannon

The father figure, “Sugar Bear”, looks like he fell of the screen at the last showing of “Deliverance”!

Sugar Bear

Yes, the family makes me proud to live in Georgia. After all, they ‘stay in side and dig our boogers’, drag their daughter to pageants, fart in public and in the opening credits, and let the dog crap on the table.

Really, New Jersey, you and Snooki have nothing on us!

You know, I guess it is The Learning Channel, by just suffering through watching four episodes, I’ve learned several things:  I have no desire to go to McIntyre, GA, I have no desire to hear that gawdawful ignorant accent, I have no time for child beauty pageants, and I really don’t like reality.

No, not one bit.

Now, pardon me while I go dry clean my mind!

Much Ado About Squat…

…it was a Nazi Death Camp in Poland, and the President of the United States called it a Polish Death Camp.

After the President’s ‘gaffe’, the shtwitter hit the fan as the Polish Prime Minister demanded that President Obama apologize for the egregious error.

Seriously, dude, get a life!

Get a real cause.

Donald Tusk said that the President’s error smacked of “ignorance, lack of knowledge, bad intentions”…OK, I have to take issue.

And I know this is shocking, because I frankly think ALL politicians are the tools of Satan or just plain tools,  but I must defend Mr. Obama.

There were Nazi Death and Concentration camps all over German Occupied Europe during WW II.  France, The Netherlands, Italy, Croatia, Lithuania, Austria, Germany, and yes, POLAND.

The terrible, terrible error was made by the President while he was honoring a Polish hero during a White House ceremony.

Jan Karski, a Polish resistance hero,  was honored along with  John Glenn, William Foege, Pat Summit, Madeline Albright, Toni Morrison, Delores Huerta, John Paul Stevens, and Bob Dylan at the White House this week.

Karski was a courier for the Polish resistance and heard that the Germans were murdering Jews, Catholics, Roma (gypsies) and homosexuals by the millions.  Jan managed to get into the Warsaw Ghetto and a Nazi Death Camp in Poland to see for himself.

The President and the honorees.

But, back to Tusk’s allegation.  It was not ignorance, the President surely knows that the Germans were running the death camps in Poland and across Europe. It wasn’t lack of knowledge:  see the previous sentence, I think ignorance and lack of knowledge are the same thing, and thanks for wasting twitter space Donald.  And I can hardly imagine that the President had any bad intentions.  I don’t think he was trying to kiss UP to the Germans while dissing the Poles.

It was at the very, very worst, a poor choice of words. Nazi Death Camp in Poland would have been better. But, Polish Death Camp takes UP less space in the world.

Get over it, Donald.  I’m sure there are bigger problems!

And frankly, if it wasn’t gaffe enough for Dylan to remove his sunglasses, it wasn’t a gaffe at all.

Bob Dylan, the original Slim Shady!

Envy

I’ll admit it, I’m envious of George Will.  He gets to say exactly what he wants on television, and he gets PAID for it!

George Will

Really, so jealous.

Green with envy.

It’s shameful.

Sunday morning he referred to Donald Trump as a “bloviating ignoramus”.   And, of course, he’s right.

And again, it was on TV, and he got paid.

Really, there are so many things that ramble around my head I wish I could say.

So many.

So, so many.

But, alas, sometimes I just have to use that filter, as bad as it is, and keep it all locked UP UP there.

Sometimes, my brain hurts.

You know, things like, when someone comes in looking like a hooker, bodacious tatas hanging out, skin tight everything, visible panty line:  and out fit that just screams ‘whore’.  And I want to say, “What?  no reflective objects at home?  No mirrors, no tinted windows?  No silver ware?”  Or, “Really, don’t you think you should shop somewhere else than Britney Spears’ closet?”

Honestly, it just hurts.

Or someone that is ruder than rude, demanding, pushy, hateful, just plain obnoxious, and the thoughts UP there are, “Listen lady, they don’t pay anyone enough, much less me, to put UP with this kind of behavior. So take your sorry ass somewhere else and act the fool, ‘cuz, I”m just not in the mood.”

But, I can’t.

I smile, I take a deep breath, and I relax my body, and move on.  I fake sincerity.

Or, what about the lazy, lazy, lazy assed person you have to put UP with on a daily basis.  “Get to work!” just doesn’t seem enough.  You know, the kind where you want to put a mirror under their nose just to see if they are still breathing.  Words come, but they stay in.  One just can’t say what one thinks.

But George Will can.

And frankly, I’m green with envy!

The headline read:  “Man Treated For Crotch Injury Before Taken To Jail”

Well, let’s hope so!

The Athens (GA) Banner-Herald reported last week that a 52 year old man was treated for a crotch laceration before being taken to jail.

A cop with a heart, I’m moved already.

Police officers were responding to a ‘domestic disturbance’ near a mall in Athens, GA, the home of the Dawgs!

They heard  him threaten to kill someone – no wonder – and then beg for help – again…no wonder!

The man was found in a pool of blood on the bedroom floor covered with a blanket.

His story kept changing…

…”a woman kicked me”…

…”I slipped and fell”…

…”…a screen door…”

That looks dangerous!

The third just might be the truth.  After all, the screen door was broken.

The officers called for an ambulance, and then found that Mr. Slicedsac was wanted on felony probation violation.

Hmmmm.

When the paramedics screeched in, the man told them he had “a big problem down there” YA THINK!

But he refused treatment asking, “Is this really necessary?”

I’m thinking yes, yes it is necessary.

He became so combative that the officers had to handcuff him and put him, bleedingbalz and all in the back of the squad car.

I’m thinking some lucky dealer in Athens has a new Impala to deliver Monday!

Once at the hospital, the injured man dragged his feet in the wheel chair to stop it from rolling.

Maybe it was the loss of blood, you know, it can keep ya from thinkin’ straight!

He spit on the cop! 

Could this get any better?

Wait for it…

He shouted profanities in the waiting room, and cussed so badly at the female nurses, that a male nurse was brought in to sew him UP!

He’s now charged with simple battery for spitting on a police officer who was brought in the relieve the first officer who was obviously worn out and worried about his car.

He was also charged with disorderly conduct and criminal trespass for breaking the door.

Oh, yes, and a probation violation.

In related news, the President of Numnads Screen Door Company, Lorena Bobbit announced today that it is recalling Model B-1765!