My copy of GQ arrived Saturday.

Yes, shocker, I’m sure, I have a subscription.

But, it is about to expire soon.

As I’m sure you’ve all heard the “children” of the corn television show GLEE are being exploited on the cover and among the pages of GQ.

The ‘watch-dog’ group, Parents Television Council has raised a bally-hoo and brouhaha about the bodacious bods bounding beyond the cover!

They have referred to it as near-ild-chay ornography-pay.

I’m typing it that way, alas, not because I’m a prude…which you may have inferred already, but because I don’t want some perv googling ild-chay ornography-pay, and coming UP with my generally family friendly blog.

But, enough about me.  Back to  Glee Q.

GQ this month as gone no further than they usually do, and the pictures inside the magazine are about as racy as a Victoria’s Secret catalogue.

Only Victoria’s Secret has no men in it.

And the only guy pictured in GQ is fully clothed.

Shocker!

Usually if they aren’t in suits, they’re in skivvies.

Just in case anyone out there in the cyberworld, or on Mars for that matter, doesn’t know, the people who ACT on Glee are actors.  For that matter, adult actors playing teenagers.

I’m sure we’ve all lied about our age at least once in our lifetime!

So, buy the magazine, don’t buy the magazine, I really don’t care…but get over it!

Oh, BTW, Mary Martin and Sandy Duncan who played Peter Pan, a boy, were women and actors as well, but neither of them could really fly!

Gwinnett, the county in which I reside was at one time the blazing star of Georgia.  It’s still a pretty great place to live and has a World Class School System,  but it’s had some nasty headlines lately.

First Charlie Bannister, our County Commission Chairman was arrested for a DUI after leaving a “Wings” restaurant.  He was given field sobriety tests, which he failed, and at his insistance taken to the local hospital for blood tests which came back with a  ”0.00″ blood alcohol level.

Charlie might surf, but he don’t drink and drive.

This little incident came out of a “family feud” between the Commission Chair and the County Sherriff. 

The field sobriety tests were in violation of a Georgia law that prohibits anyone Charlie’s age from being “field tested”.

About a month later, Charlie, whom I mentioned might surf, resigned rather abruptly after testifying before a special grand jury.  He cited the old standby of “health and family reasons”.

Well, yesterday, one of our local County Comissioners, Kevin Kenerly, was indicted on bribery charges by a special grand jury.

Charlie and Kevin are buds, political allies, homies if you will.

Hmmmm.

Could something be a brewing?

Keeping in mind that whole “innocent til proven guilty” crap thing, we must say that Mr. Kenerly hasn’t been convicted yet.

But the presses are still running.

Alledgely, Kevin took a million dollars in bribes from a land developer who was selling land to the county.  He decided not to run for re-election this year after ’serving’ the county for 16 years.  If convicted by a real jury, and not just the press, he could face UP to 10 years in prison.

He said today that he will “plead not guilty”.

Well, duh. 

Who’s gonna’ jump UP and say, “Hell yeah!  I did it, lock me UP!”?

I know I wouldn’t.

His official statement: 

“We’re confident that when a jury hears all the facts, we’ll be cleared.  We’re upset as a family. It’s a sad day. I feel sorry for my wife and my kids and for that matter that the county has to endure and go through something like this.”

Who is “we”?   Only Kevin was indicted.

Enter Danny Porter.  Now, Danny is our County Prosecutor and a bit of a greedy media whore hog.  Seriously, he loves to be in the paper.  Or at least it seems that way, since he’s in it all the time.

But Danny said, “…the felony count of bribery is based on an allegation that Kenerly took 20 payments of $50,000 from developer D.G. Jenkins for facilitating a favorable deal on land purchased for an expansion to Rabbit Hill Park.”

 Jenkins purchased the land for $8 million but sold it to the county in 2007 for more than $16 million.”

You know, I did notice we’ve got a lot more parks than we had 12 years ago when I moved here.  And I just thought it was because they cared!

Porter added of Kenerly, who’s been the subject of investigations in the past, yet still gets re-elected year after year, “It’s not a matter of finally getting him. It’s a matter of following the evidence.”

Which is pretty much what Danny always says.

Mr. Porter did not comment on whether other indictments will be issued.

But he did say the report will become public November 2nd.  Wait a minute, isn’t that election day?

The ’special’ grand jury has been meeting since February, and hopes to wrap things UP by Friday.

I’m sure they’re tired.  And probably sick of the whole mess.

And I’m sure there’s more.

Every day on my way to work I pass Kenerly Street.  You know, it’s the one right before the Wal-Mart Super Center built on the 68 acres of land where Kenerly Hardware and other stores used to stand.

Quite honestly, I think that’s a crime!

Hmmmm.

And to think, we were embarrassed by Lester Maddox!

A federal judge in Atlanta sentenced a campus cop to 14 years in prison Friday for his role in a drug distribution ring that reached from Atlanta to Boston.

OK, there’s something just WRONG, WRONG, WRONG with that.

Not the sentence, but that it happened at all.

Crooked politicians UPset me – and from the way things are going in Georgia, I’m gonna’ be UPset a lot!

But, Crooked Cops UPset me even more!

It’s such a breach of trust. 

And it is more than disgusting when those who are supposed to UPhold the law, let themselves become above the law.

According to U.S. Attorney Sally Quillian Yates, Richard Trong Ong, 37, was a police officer at Suffolk University in Boston when he distributed 20,000 methamphetamine-laced ecstasy tablets to co-conspirators. 

20,000…that’s some serious trippin’ dude!

He was arrested way back in 2005 at his home in the Boston area. 

Yet, he was tried in Atlanta.

An Atlanta jury convicted the Quincy, Mass. man in August after a week-long trial on “conspiracy drug distribution charges.”

He was the last man standing;  there were more than two dozen “co-conspirators” to be sentenced in the case.

His Atlanta trial was precipitated by the fact that his supplier, a Canadian named Chiem Mach, moved to Atlanta in 2004 to lead a smuggling outfit that imported hundreds of thousands of ecstasy pills from Canada to Atlanta, Yates said.  First Canada sends us Celine Dion, and then this!  Thanks a pant load!

Mach was arrested in 2005 but died in custody while awaiting trial.

Thanks Chiem for saving us the cash and checking out early.  After all, the state is a little strapped.

According to prosecutors, here’s what happened:

On August 6, 2005, Ong met with Mach in a downtown Boston restaurant after finishing his police shift.   Nothing fancy, just some Nachos and a few Brewskies. 

The next day, Mach’s drug courier delivered 40,000 ecstasy tablets to Ong.

Again, nothing fancy, no Louis Vuitton, just a plain old carry-on bag.

On Aug. 10 Ong, was arrested as part of a Drug Enforcement Administration investigation, and three months later Mach and most of the others were rounded UP.

Ong was convicted on charges of “conspiracy to possess with the intent to distribute ecstasy and methamphetamine”, and was sentenced by U.S. District Judge Julie E. Carnes to 14 years in prison plus five years of supervised release.

Who’s gonna’ watch him the cops?

“Please enjoy the music while your party is located.”

Ever hear that message?

I make a great many phone calls each day, and often times, I hear just that.

And I rarely do enjoy the music.

Really, do I have to be subjected to CRAP Music, or Country, or Larry The Cable Guy while you decide if you’re going to take my call?

Frankly, if it’s not Skynyrd, Steve Miller or the Allman Brothers, don’t put it on there.

I should not have to be subjected to Kanye, TI, Travis Tritt, and OhEmGee – Toby Keith while I wait to see if I’m high enough UP on your list to be answered!

Just take the call!