Spring forward, fall back, my butt.

Pick a time and stick with it!

However, THIS weekend is the change date, and Daylight Savings Time ends.

We have to Fall Back.

So, imagine my chagrin when I set my clocks back LAST weekend thinking we were still on the Last Sunday in October method.

I hit the gym Sunday AM at 8 o’clock according to my car clock, which I’d changed the night before.  I couldn’t figure why people were leaving at 8:05.

Ron, one of the completely ripped fat free gym rats who gives me tips on what to do said, “You’re late this morning.”

And then it hit me!

It was the next week.

It’s pretty bad when you have to name yourself  ”Ass of the Week!”

Quit playing with the dates!

So, this weekend, make sure you set your clocks back an hour at 2 AM Sunday morning.

Now, don’t go setting them back any earlier, that wouldn’t be fair, wait until exactly 2 AM Sunday morning.  I’ll be sleeping, I’ve already got it done!

I hate them.

But, I’ll admit, it’s kinda fun to look back on the buzz words of the day and remember.

After all, I have spent most of my adult life in Corporate America.

I must confess, I didn’t really pay attention to buzz words until the 1980s.  After divestiture, or the break UP of Ma Bell, buzz words seemed to come to the forefront.

Take Wing – any of you Bell heads remember that one?

I still don’t know what it meant, I just remember that when they replaced the word processing system with a new one, the boss said, “Well, the took Wang!”…I don’t think the two were connected.

In the 80s, there were words like “relentless pursuit”.  Relentless pursuit of perfection, relentless pursuit of excellence, but in reality, it was the relentless pursuit of cash!

The 90s brought “passion”.  I was asked in an interview for a promotion, “What’s your passion?”  Frankly, I thought that a tad personal, but I answered nonetheless.

And I got the job!

What’s your passion, greed is good, robust, breaking barriers, thinking outside the box…I mean really, every time I left the cubicle or office as it would later on become, I was thinking outside the box!

World class!

Have you seen the rest of the world?

Do we really want to be world class?

Change the culture.  That was huge at the Phone Phactory back in the day.  Everyone wanted to Change the Culture.  Didn’t Judge Green do that?

I had a boss once who interjected, “at the end of the day” into nearly every conversation.  Frankly, at the end of the day, I just wanted to get the hell away from her!

Multitasking – that was big in the 70s, and guess what…it doesn’t work.  If you doing two things, one of them is going to suffer!  You can’t really multi-task and have relentless pursuit of perfection.  Gosh, who do you think I am, Sybil?

Proactive – a zit medication.

Synergy – c’mon! 

Integrated or integration – didn’t the Civil Rights Act fix all that?

Leverage, the big idea, resolve, branding, putting UP silos!

What are we, farmers?

Breaking down barriers is just a nice way of saying “give me what I want!”

Value added – OMG, that was huge in the 80s and 90s, and I confess…I used it.  I took it as a philosophy.  If I wasn’t adding value to something by doing what I was doing, frankly, I shouldn’t have been doing it!  But the phrase lost its lustre.

Which is another one, lost its lustre.  So polish it!

Emails, memos, notes, post-its  – they all have buzz words. 

Here’s a robust idea, business it UP, use proper English in a business email once in while! 

Now that I think about it, wouldn’t it be nice if this went viral?

OK, this crap’s gotta stop!

Seriously, I’m a at Waffle House EVERYDAY!

Everyday.

Last Friday, the Waffle House at U.S. 78 and Rockbridge Road near Stone Mountain in Gwinnett was robbed at gunpoint, according to Gwinnett police spokesman Cpl. Edwin Ritter.

This is about seven miles from my house, thankfully, there are forty-leven other WHs before that one.

Reports show the spree of robberies also includes cases in Auburn, Ala. and LaGrange, Ga.

Grogan says the suspects tend to strike between 2 a.m. and 5 a.m., typically the slowest times at the restaurants, and the most interesting I might add, when they will place a to-go order.  He said that when the cash register is opened, a gun comes out.

Now, I’ve been in thousands of Waffle Houses, and I’m quite sure the fire-arms of the robbing scum trash aren’t the only heat in the place.

At least, not at 2 in the morning!

Waffle House officials are offering a $2,500 reward for the arrest and conviction of two men with a taste for Redneck Lattes and robbing the restaurants across metro Atlanta.

$2500!  Are they kidding?  That’s outrageous!  This is serious business!  UP the ante boys, and catch these butt-wipes!  I don’t want to have to dig my “carry permit” out!

I pushed it a thousand times all day long, and everytime I opened my eyes, I was still there.

Damn that Bill Gates!

Well, if anyone should know about crime, it’s Ray Lewis.

I’m still mad at Ray for screwing UP the Atlanta Superbowl back in 2000.

Not that I hold a grudge or anything.

But, alas, Ray is wrong.  As it turns out, there is no data to back UP his statement.

Sounds very familiar to me.

According to the AJC, the Baltimore Raven said, in a recent ESPN interview, that “…if we don’t have a season — watch how much evil, which we call crime, watch how much crime picks UP, if you take away our game”  His premise was that the lockout affected the fans as much or more than the players and owners.

OK, number 1, Crime is Evil and Evil is usually Crime.

“There’s (sic) too many people that live through us, people live through us,” he said. “Yeah, walk in the streets, the way I walk the streets, and I’m not talking about the people you see all the time.”

Note to Ray:  I love football, high school and college, but I don’t live through anyone else, especailly not pro-football players – really guys, you’re not worth the cash you get.

The Atlanta Journal Constitution accepted Lewis’ invitation to do that research.  They contacted the Northeastern’s Sport in Society center and the paper was told that “there is very little evidence supporting Lewis’ claim that crime will increase the longer the work stoppage lasts.”

The AJC cited a similar crime study.

The Baltimore Sun took the challenge as well, they found, looking at the crime statistics in 1982, an increase in only one area. 

Homicides.

Hmmmmm.

The Sun did all they could to justify Lewis’ claim. The newspaper’s Crime Beat blog looked at crime data last season, during the Ravens’ bye week.  They found that there was a slight UP tick in crime while the Ravens were off.

Interestingly enough, The Sun found when it looked at crime in Baltimore after the season had ended, that there was less crime. 

When The AJC looked for increases in crime during bye weeks, they found “No real evidence was presented that would lead in one direction or another.”

Criminologist James A. Fox, a Northeastern University professor, did a study after hearing Lewis’ claims.

He looked at key FBI data from the last three years available, 2006 through 2008, focusing on the week before the Super Bowl because there were no games that week, but there was intense hype and interest in football.  Fox, says he found no increase in crime the week there was no football.

Fox stated, “I took the Ray Lewis challenge and I don’t see any evidence of a crime increase.”   Fox, whom I trust far more than Ray Lewis, is the author of several books on crime who also writes a crime and punishment blog for the Boston Globe.  He’s also well respected by the FBI.

OK, so maybe that’s not a kudo.

Apparently the idle time doesn’t impact the players much either, well, excepting maybe Kenny Britt and the Tampa Bay Bucs.  Other than that, there hasn’t been a drastic increase during this off-season.

So, Ray, sorry, wrong again.

You are why I’m not a Ravens fan. 

So this Fall, when the lock out continues and the season is reduced to 8 or so games…I’ll not be rioting, or committing any other crimes.  I’ll be watching something else on TV, or reading…yeah, reading…now there’s an idea.

And frankly, I think Cee-Lo Green said it best…in his latest hit.

According to Douglas County Sheriff Phil Miller, Bobby Tillman died before he could be taken to the hospital.

Four people have been arrested.

There were 80 people at the house party.  Ten were invited.

The Sheriff said, “Some very responsible parents let their daughters have a party at their house, and there were only 10 people expected to come.” 

When the parents asked the party-crashers to leave, a fight began between two girls outside the home.

One of the girls hit a guy, he getting at least one thing right, said he wouldn’t hit a girl but would “…hit the next dude walks by…”

According to Sheriff Miller said. The 5-feet-6 inch, 124 pound Tillman was the next male.

Tillman was still breathing as deputies arrived at the scene according to  Miller.

Deputies administered CPR, but it was too late, he did not survive.

“It’ll bring tears to your eyes,” Miller said. “It’s just so sad.”

It’s not only sad, it’s infuriating.

57 people were interviewed after the “incident”.

Witnesses were taken by bus to the sheriff’s office.  And of course, civil rights activists are all UP in arms about that!  What were the police supposed to do?   Let witnessess get away, not get the real story, let it go.  NO!

Four people were arrested, and investigators do not believe there will be additional arrests.

The homeowners are not expected to face charges.

“They were doing the very best they could,” Miller said. “The situation got out of hand.”

Ya think?

I’m sure more will come out.  I can’t wait to learn about the four people who thought it was ok to stomp and beat someone to death just because some stupid girl went off on them.

And, according to the story, she only hit one guy, so the other three…what was your excuse?

As to the parents and homeowners - the minute the 11th person showed UP, you should have called the police and shut it down.  One would think after 40 unwanted guests arrived, you’d have done something.

As to the parents of the four people who murdered Bobby Tillman, nice job, really, good work.

I’m guessing, and it ’s just a guess, YES!

Am I right?

My phone won’t quit ringing.  Vote for this one, don’t vote for that one.  He’s a crook, she’s a ho-bag.

Honestly, and what an odd word to use in a political commentary, but honestly, I’ve had it UP to here!

Voting is important.

Campaigns are annoying!

I can’t wait ’til next Wednesday.

Sigh.

Yes, shocker, I’m sure, I have a subscription.

But, it is about to expire soon.

As I’m sure you’ve all heard the “children” of the corn television show GLEE are being exploited on the cover and among the pages of GQ.

The ‘watch-dog’ group, Parents Television Council has raised a bally-hoo and brouhaha about the bodacious bods bounding beyond the cover!

They have referred to it as near-ild-chay ornography-pay.

I’m typing it that way, alas, not because I’m a prude…which you may have inferred already, but because I don’t want some perv googling ild-chay ornography-pay, and coming UP with my generally family friendly blog.

But, enough about me.  Back to  Glee Q.

GQ this month as gone no further than they usually do, and the pictures inside the magazine are about as racy as a Victoria’s Secret catalogue.

Only Victoria’s Secret has no men in it.

And the only guy pictured in GQ is fully clothed.

Shocker!

Usually if they aren’t in suits, they’re in skivvies.

Just in case anyone out there in the cyberworld, or on Mars for that matter, doesn’t know, the people who ACT on Glee are actors.  For that matter, adult actors playing teenagers.

I’m sure we’ve all lied about our age at least once in our lifetime!

So, buy the magazine, don’t buy the magazine, I really don’t care…but get over it!

Oh, BTW, Mary Martin and Sandy Duncan who played Peter Pan, a boy, were women and actors as well, but neither of them could really fly!

First Charlie Bannister, our County Commission Chairman was arrested for a DUI after leaving a “Wings” restaurant.  He was given field sobriety tests, which he failed, and at his insistance taken to the local hospital for blood tests which came back with a  ”0.00″ blood alcohol level.

Charlie might surf, but he don’t drink and drive.

This little incident came out of a “family feud” between the Commission Chair and the County Sherriff. 

The field sobriety tests were in violation of a Georgia law that prohibits anyone Charlie’s age from being “field tested”.

About a month later, Charlie, whom I mentioned might surf, resigned rather abruptly after testifying before a special grand jury.  He cited the old standby of “health and family reasons”.

Well, yesterday, one of our local County Comissioners, Kevin Kenerly, was indicted on bribery charges by a special grand jury.

Charlie and Kevin are buds, political allies, homies if you will.

Hmmmm.

Could something be a brewing?

Keeping in mind that whole “innocent til proven guilty” crap thing, we must say that Mr. Kenerly hasn’t been convicted yet.

But the presses are still running.

Alledgely, Kevin took a million dollars in bribes from a land developer who was selling land to the county.  He decided not to run for re-election this year after ’serving’ the county for 16 years.  If convicted by a real jury, and not just the press, he could face UP to 10 years in prison.

He said today that he will “plead not guilty”.

Well, duh. 

Who’s gonna’ jump UP and say, “Hell yeah!  I did it, lock me UP!”?

I know I wouldn’t.

His official statement: 

“We’re confident that when a jury hears all the facts, we’ll be cleared.  We’re upset as a family. It’s a sad day. I feel sorry for my wife and my kids and for that matter that the county has to endure and go through something like this.”

Who is “we”?   Only Kevin was indicted.

Enter Danny Porter.  Now, Danny is our County Prosecutor and a bit of a greedy media whore hog.  Seriously, he loves to be in the paper.  Or at least it seems that way, since he’s in it all the time.

But Danny said, “…the felony count of bribery is based on an allegation that Kenerly took 20 payments of $50,000 from developer D.G. Jenkins for facilitating a favorable deal on land purchased for an expansion to Rabbit Hill Park.”

 Jenkins purchased the land for $8 million but sold it to the county in 2007 for more than $16 million.”

You know, I did notice we’ve got a lot more parks than we had 12 years ago when I moved here.  And I just thought it was because they cared!

Porter added of Kenerly, who’s been the subject of investigations in the past, yet still gets re-elected year after year, “It’s not a matter of finally getting him. It’s a matter of following the evidence.”

Which is pretty much what Danny always says.

Mr. Porter did not comment on whether other indictments will be issued.

But he did say the report will become public November 2nd.  Wait a minute, isn’t that election day?

The ’special’ grand jury has been meeting since February, and hopes to wrap things UP by Friday.

I’m sure they’re tired.  And probably sick of the whole mess.

And I’m sure there’s more.

Every day on my way to work I pass Kenerly Street.  You know, it’s the one right before the Wal-Mart Super Center built on the 68 acres of land where Kenerly Hardware and other stores used to stand.

Quite honestly, I think that’s a crime!

Hmmmm.

And to think, we were embarrassed by Lester Maddox!