Can you tell I’ve got a kid in college?

I really wanted to call this “Sallie Mae’s A Bigger Whore Than Ann Arbor”, but I thought it might scare people away.  Especially the two readers I have in Michigan…so.

Yahoo recently reported the story of Michelle Bisutti.  Michelle is a 41 year old MD who is a family practitioner in Columbus (Go Bucks!) Ohio.

She finished med school $250,000 in debt.

That’s bad enough.

Seven years later, it’s  $555,000.

“Why?”, you ask.

She deferred her loan payments during her residency. 

If one defers loan payments there are default charges and compounding interest rates. 

One of the charges was a whopping $53,870 fee for turning her loans over to a collection agency!

Really, maybe I’m in the wrong business.

Dr. Bisutti admits, “Maybe half of it was my fault because I didn’t look at the fine print.”   She adds, ”But this is just outrageous now.”

Outrageous doesn’t cover it.  It’s usury.  And frankly, I thought that was illegal, must be wrong, it’s just immoral.

Tuition is on the rise.  The state of Georgia announced that it would take a 77% increase at all Georgia State Universities to cover the short fall for next year.  That’s $4,500.00 MORE each year just to be a DAWG!  Yes, I know it’s worth it because the only thing better than being a DAWG is being a Buckeye, but really 77%?  C’mon!

And people think nothing of college loans.  After all it’s “necessary debt”, “college is important”, “How can you put a price on an education?”, and all that.  Well, colleges everyday put a price on an education…and it’s not cheap.

Getting out of student loans is near to impossible. 

File bankruptcy, everything else may go away, (including your credit and ability to buy things) but Sallie Mae’s at the door  slathering  on new lipstick, waiting for her pay off.

The ‘boy’ is in Nashville at a Tech School, NADC.  He will come out with about $40,000 in debt.   It’s a 15 month program.  All during the course of the program, the family loans kick in when the school needs more cash.  And Sallie doesn’t call to tell you.  She sends a note. 

When her emails aren’t answered, (because the password to get in won’t work) she starts calling.  EVERYWHERE.

We’re not close.

And family loan payments kick in BEFORE your student graduates.  Unlike the loans the student gets, there is no deferrment. 

Really, I hate her.

We have a plan.  His and our debt will be erradicated pronto!

As to Dr. B.  She has renegotiated her debt.  She only has to make 351 more payments of $900.00  per month.

She’ll be able to celebrate her student loan payoff just after her 70th birthday.

Maybe not.

I know we expect too much of our ‘heroes’, but really…win a bronze medal and simulate sex in public?  No.

Scotty Logo’s street behavior after his Bronze Medal winning half-pipe run was an embarrassment to him, the stuffed shirts at the IOC, and the the American public, to say nothing of the girl, who’s gonna’ have a hard time explaining that picture to the grandchildren in 20 years.

Joe Francis made millions with GGW videos, but BGW – I don’t think we’re ready.  Ok, so it’s a double standard.  But the trampelettes on Joe’s videos aren’t Olympic Medalists.  They’re drunken college coeds with too much money, too much time, and not enough inhibitions.

I don’t mean to be all moral and pontificatious, but we all know what was implied. 

Half-pipe and most snowboarding events are little more than skate ratting on snow.  I love the sport, I’m not impressed with the mentallity and the attitude.

It’s bad enough that Shaun White and his coach can’t say two sentences without the “F” word and can’t remember that every word they say is being recoreded, and it’s bad enough that Shaun White and Scotty acted like fools during the National Anthem while on the medal platform – (just a reminder to anyone else winning a medal for the US:   hand over heart, learn the words, I know it’s hard to sing and musically bad, but it’s OUR national anthem, SING IT!), but really, Scotty and the girl…is that necessary?

And  Scotty, millions of kids are watching you, and you do have a responsibility to behave decently in public.  You may want to Text Tiger for details.

So behave.

Oh, yes, good job on the ABS, BTW!

…to see if Hell has frozen over!

I actually agree with Jay-z!

Jay-Z doesn’t like the new version of “We Are The World”, and neither do I.

As a matter of fact, Jay-Z said it shouldn’t have been remade.  Again, I concur.

The first version, no matter what anyone thinks of it was an iconic classic filled with great singing by great singers.  It was a novel idea at the time…Farm Aid aside…thank you Willie!

Mr. Beyonce told MTV News Saturday night at the 2 Kings Dinner in Dallas, “I know everybody is gonna take this wrong: ‘We Are the World,’ I love it, and I understand the point and think it’s great. But I think ‘We Are the World’ is like Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ to me. I don’t ever wanna see it touched.”

Not only did he marry well, he’s very wise indeed. 

The Original, was great, included such greats as Dianna Ross, Dionne Warwick, Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan, Tina Turner, Kim Carnes, Huey Lewis, and my all time fave, stuck over in the corner next to LaToya, Bette Midler!

The new one has a rap section, and features a bunch of thugs and criminals including Justin Beiber and Barbra Streisand.

And you know, you can’t spell crap without rap!

The producers decided this time around to remove the only Biblical reference, you know, the one about “turning stones to bread”.

I don’t mean to be insensitive or unkind…wait for it…but how in the name of Lindsay Lohan did Wyclef Jean get a recording contract?  And wasn’t it nice of Lil Wayne to take time out of his dental appointments and court dates to pop in for a solo?

And the nerve of Celine Dion doing the Cindy Lauper part!  Really…take that whiny dog whistle of a voice back to Montreal!

Frankly, if it weren’t for Jennifer Hudson and Pink…it would be worthless.

What did Jay-Z want to do?

He says they should have made a new song.  Says the Jayster, “I think it’s time for us to make a new song.  I tried to do that with ‘Stranded,’ (the song he, Rihanna, Bono, and the Edge premiered at the “hope for Haiti Now” telethon.  He added “I didn’t try to make ‘We Are the World,’ but I tried to make our take on how we felt.”

Jay-Z’s right, the orignial was a classic, it should have been left to stand, and it’s not just because Jay-Z wasn’t there.

I spent most of Thursday night in the ER.

I’d just like to say, NBC is a big fat liar!

So is ABC, Grey’s Anatomy – not even close.

Just a few observations and suggestions, if you have a minute.

First of all, no one looked like McDreamy, McSteamy, or Katherine Heigel.

A few looked like Jack Black, and one looked like Disco Stu from the Simpsons, but most, McCreepy.

And that was just the Doctors!

The patients and visitors…well, don’t ask.

So, before you go, try to remember these things.

Is it really necessary for the entire family, down to 3rd cousins once removed to be there?  Grandma/Great Aunt Bertha really doesn’t need you.  And if you don’t have  medical degree, why are you there?  And too boot, it’s the 21st Century, can you say CELL Phone?

And, is it really necessary to hop your children UP on Mountain Dew and Snickers Bars before you leave the house…you know, just after getting the call that the aforementioned relative is in the ER with chest pains, brain spasms, ingrown toenails.

Honestly!

Now, as to the youngins; live tree or fake one, they are not supposed to pull the leaves off and throw them at each other.  And they are especially not allowed to throw them at me once they tire of making their little sister cry.

The water and soft drinnks they bring around, you know, the Candy Stripers, they’re for the patients, not you.  There’s a Coke Machine down the hall.  This is Georgia, three things you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting are, a Baptist Church, a Waffle House, and a Coke Machine.  (Of course the Pepsi machine is buried in the third underground level of the parking garage, so don’t even look…some people have gone a lookin’ and never returned!)

And as to proper attire:  Seriously, terry cloth shorts were made for the beach, and for people who are no more than a size 2.  I’m sure you were in a hurry, but it’s February afterall, and not to get all Fashion Friday, but “Should you be wearin’ that?”

Let’s talk footwear for a second.  Pink Bunny Slippers were only funny in “Torch Song Trilogy” and on “Malcolm In The Middle”, put on your Nike’s before you dash to the car. 

Not to be picky, but there are two areas.  Each is clearly marked.  One says WELL WAITING, and one says SICK WAITING.  A little clue, if you’re WELL, sit under the word that matches your condition.  Do not sit by me and cough UP a lung!

Oh yes, one more thing!  They are really serious about the NO SMOKING sign in the parking lot.  It’s a hospital after all.