This is not a foot wear post!

Saturday evening when the Patriots-Broncos game became just too much to bear, I switched the channel to the Miss America Pageant.

I like pageants, Miss America, Miss Universe, and especially Miss USA.

Kim Seelbrede after all, a Germantown girl, was a Miss USA back in the day.

It got me hooked.

But, sadly, I flipped the switch just as Kris Jenner asked her question of a contestant.

Earlier in the show, when asked what she thought the winner should have, Kris replied, “Somebody that’s really got confidence, who’s passionate, who has worked really hard.  These girls are applying for a job.  I think somebody who’s got an amazing work ethic really impresses me, too.”

The Kardashian Mom’s question, and I’m not quoting here, was something along the line of  ”…Tim Tebow gets a lot of flack for Tebowing and professing his faith.  Do you think it’s right for celebrities use their power and position to promote their platform of faith?

I was appalled at the gall of that broad!

The real question is, “…is it right for the beautiful one, the pretty one, and the other one to use their positions of power to promote their platform of promiscuity, materialism, and shallowness?”

But then, that question will never come UP, will it?

An open letter to Emily of http://momminitup.com/ .

Oddly enough, I have no pictures to go with this post!

Gilda was our first.  We got her six months after we were married, the day before we moved 400 miles away to Tennessee .  She rode in the car with me all the way, spent most of the time whining her box and some between my neck and the car seat head-rest.  She was a cutie.  Eleven ounces and six weeks old when we got her, she actually fit in the inside coat pocket of my old Navy Pea Coat.

We took her everywhere.

She chewed up everything, would not sleep in her bed, wound up in ours, and woke me up everyday like clock work once she was house broken.

But we loved her.

Eight years later, when our daughter was born, Gilda had to go.  She was jealous, snippy, and snappy.  I really didn’t want to A. permanently scar my child’s face; and B. Explain all that to the Department of Children’s Services.  I hear they can be picky.

After child number 2 came along, grew to walking stage, wiping his own butt stage (hallelujah, one of the greatest days of all time and a whole ‘nother blog), we all felt the ‘call of dog’.  Many feel the call of God, but alas, we felt the call of dog.

Then came Lacy.  A blonde Cocker Spaniel that was obviously more inbred than I, had the IQ of a lawn chair, and came with her own IEP.

She would dig one hole under the fence to get out and another one to get back in.  After a while it looked like it was warped, and the neighbors would point and shake their heads as they walked by.

One day she disappeared.  Really, just gone.  I had nothing to do with it, though I was accused, glared at and repeatedly questioned.  The lie detector test was “inconclusive”.  But alas, another one gone.  (Remarkably, my Sister-in-law’s dog, who was Lacy’s litter mate vanished the same week.  My brother-in-law survived the questioning much better than I.)  We never found either of them.  I was not sad.

Again, the dog conversation started.  I hedged, said no, fought, and as all of us do, gave in…just as you will Emily.

That was Dagy, or Dagmar.  Pure bred, black as coal, sweet as sugar and the most wonderful companion ever.  She met me at the door every night.    When every one else was mad, she loved me, when every one else was out, she was at the door.

Then her back went out.  $600.00 and several days at the vet’s later, we had to let her go.  On my 50^th birthday.  Yeah, happy freakin’ birthday.

I swore off dogs, again.

Forever.

But, again, I heard the call of dog.  So I bought two at the same time.  Don’t ever do this.  They won’t learn their own names, they will both come when you call one, they will not train, they will not stop chewing, and they encourage each other to mischief.

After I cam home from my quadruple bypass surgery (I promise to talk about that at length some day),  I was actually afraid they would jump up on me and open up every slice and dice the doctors had done.  Thank goodness for rescue sites.  They were both gone in 2 days.

Then one day, Mugly (short for my ugly dog, ‘cause she was clock stopping hideous – I mean, seriously, “cover your watch!”) showed up.  Really, she just arrived in the yard, decided she liked the place and stayed…for exactly a year.  Then she moved on.

Oh, I looked for her.  I put UP post-it notes advertising “lost dog” on telephone poles, canvassed the neighborhood…all ten houses…but alas, we never found her.  Until I went walking a week later and there she was, dead on the side of the road.  She wasn’t hit; she just went off to die.  I was sad, and swore off dogs, once again.

Then there was Lola.  Lola was my son’s dog.  She had feet the size of hams when she was born.  Now, the biggest dog I had weighed in at about 18 pounds.  This one was 40 at six months.

She was part yellow lab and part idiot.  She was a chewer, a whiner, a barker, a digger, just like all the others.

She had to go.

I bided my time.

Well, the boy decides to go to college.  (I’m happy about that.) He left his dog at home.

Error!

Duh!  Working two jobs and napping got in the way of play time with Lola, so she had to go.

Napping is important.

It just wasn’t fair to her.

One add on kijiji.com and 8 hours later.  I was runnin’ through the house singing “Dog Free” and praising Jesus.

This dog, the last dog, didn’t die.  She went to a nice family with four kids and big fenced yard.  She could have been a science project at UGA and I’d have lost no sleep!

She was the last dog…well, for now.

Seriously, Em, get that bunch under control!  Heed not the Call of Dog!

Today marks the anniversary of the very TV showing of “The Goldbergs”.

The Goldbergs launched its radio show years before, but in 1949, it became the first sit-com to air on Network Television.

Created by Gertrude Berg for radio it moved to CBS starring Berg as Mrs. Goldberg, and Philip Loeb as her husband, Jake.

General Foods picked UP the show for its Sanka Coffee brand over the worries of network execs.  They all thought it wouldn’t play on TV like it did on radio.

It didn’t, it was better!  And it spent ten years on TV.

Berg wrote every episode for the TV show just as she had done for radio.  She eventually had to hire outside writers to help with the workload.

Loeb was blacklisted, and in 1950, CBS dropped the show after General Foods demand, and Berg’s refusal to replace him.

Eight months later, the original home of the radio version, NBC added the show to its line UP on the condition that Loeb be replaced.  Berg had no choice; she was told the show would never be seen on TV again with Loeb in the cast.  Berg, however, continued to pay a salary to Loeb just the same.

She wasn’t afraid to shy away from sensitive issues, but took care not to offend.  During the radio years of WW II, the plight of Jews in Europe wasn’t ignored.  Kristallnacht was mentioned, and a rock was thrown threw the Goldberg’s window during the Seder meal.

Berg insisted that there be no studio audience and she kept the story lines simple and about every day life.  She said, ” …I like to avoid anything that will bother people…unions, fund raising, Zionism, socialism, intergroup relations…I keep things average, I don’t want to lose friends.”

My, how things have changed!  And, my how Mrs. Berg changed TV forever.

This must be stopped!

Katy Perry’s parents have decided that Tim Tebow is just the guy for their pop star daughter!

Oh, HELL no!

The not even rid of Russell Brand completely yet singer who kissed a girl and liked it is the object of an arranged meeting between the Denver Bronco QB and herself by her less than realistic mom and dad.

Again, Oh, HELL no!

They are trying to set UP the meeting at their  - you guessed it – California Church!

According to a source at OK Ragazine, Katy as “mentioned on more than one occasion how much she likes Tim.”

She thinks he’s charming, intelligent, and good looking.

Who doesn’t?

And above all else, he’s a good Christian…er, I hate to point this out again, but she’s married to RUSSELL BRAND!

BTW, rumor has it that she’s leaving him because she doesn’t want her kids to go through an awkward stage like their dad did.

Yes, that’s our Little Russell years ago.

Or maybe she’s leaving him because she thinks her future might turn out like this…

But, I digress once again.

Keith and Mary Hudson are ministers of the ‘evangelical’ variety…which I might add, is a misunderstood term, and viewed as a larger umbrella than it really is.  The Bowster is a Baptist…which the last time I checked was both Christian and Evangelical…really Evangelical.

ABC News requested a comment from Tim, and were immediately blown off ignored.  Ms. Perry’s spawners were contacted, but didn’t comment.  They said something earlier in the week about the marital rift being a motivator for church attendance recently, but how the heck would they know?

This is just about the worst match since John and Yoko, Frank and Ava, Elizabeth Taylor and Larry Fortensky, Mike Tyson and ANYONE!

And besides all that, we all know Tim’s just waiting for the right moment to ask this girl out…

Seriously, Tim, get with the program!  Shoot me an email…I’ll set it UP!