…and apparently I have no other way to do so, or so says a friend of mine. 

Actually she’s said it for years. 

I’d never heard of A.D.D until sometime in the early 1990s, when a friend of mine Karen, in Orlando, informed me that I was most assuredly suffering from this plight.  She even compared me to George Bush, the second one.  Ouch!

Can I help it if my brain really is a computer and thoughts come and go at random. 

Can I help it if it can process more than one thing at a time? 

I’m a regular UNIX machine.

Really, I think it’s a good thing.  Well, at least for me, ah, er, sometimes.

But, it’s a little somewhat a tad really frustrating.

I can’t watch an entire TV show with out switching to another.  Several hundred times.  I read three or four books at once.  I do two or three crosswords at a time.   My mind is always going, even when I sleep.

I have 200+ unfinished blog posts.

And talking -  one topic, get serious, I flit from Kate Gosselin to The Theory of Realtivity in one breath.  Could it be  because she isn’t relevant – no, that’s not it,  those words have nothing to do with one another, oh look a chicken.

See what I mean?

It drives people nuts – an added benefit I might add. 

I think I’ve always been that way.  Seems even as a child, back before A.D.D. was invented discovered, I was, shall we say, “multi-topic friendly”.

One of Mother’s friends, Nellie,  said of me, “That boy could talk the legs off an iron kettle.”  And I’m sure I could.  But then if she’d had something interesting to say, maybe I’d have listened, bless her heart. 

Everything was so interesting.  I was curious, asking, listening – ok sometimes – and reading.

Information was important.  And sharing that information became a cause.

There really are some ignorant people out there.

My daughter, while in high school, knew that if she had a history question she couldn’t answer, I could, or I could find it in one of the 3,000 books in the house.

My son, already knew it all, so he never asked.

And I’m still that way.  Call me Sarah Palin, but I was writing on my palm so long ago, that when Palm Pilots came out, no one bought me one as I already had one built in.

And I’m the king of the post-it note, napkin, business card back, dollar bill.  I’ll write an idea on anything.

I used to carry a tape recorder, then a digital recorder, but now, I just text myself ideas.

And they come at lightning speed.

My mind never stops working.

It’s frustrating.  I can’t turn it off.  I’ll see – hear – read something and think, “There’s a blog in that!”

Maybe it’s ironic justice that most of my work at school is with kids who have  A.D.D, you know, ther real kind, diagnosed by someone who legally can do so.

Darn, a chicken!

Wow!  Maybe ADD is contagious.

See, there it goes again.  Frenetic.

…really folks, don’t start with me on these.

Recently it seems, I’m wearing a “Please Bring UP A Topic That Will Piss Me Off!” sign.

And it usually happens at my favorite place, The Waffle House.

Last week, I was off one day, well actually several.  Seems there’s a pleortha of good health at the school, and I wasn’t needed.  While enjoying my crossword and Redneck Latte, one gentleman decided to start a conversation.

Really, it wasn’t necessary.

He –  ”Aren’t you a teacher?  Why aren’t you in school today?

Me –  ”…brief explanation of my work status…”

He –  ”Well, it must be nice to work nine months a year and get paid for 12.”

Me –

I was sure after my civil, controlled, and courteous come-back, he’d cease his critical queue of queries.

But alas, he went on.

He – “Well, with the $97 million short fall coming in the next budget, they’re gonna have to cut some things out.”

Me – “Probably.”  (-keeps it short, head down, inks in an answer to a question – takes a sip of coffee. And it’s $97 million over the next two budgets, but I didn’t bother to correct him…really, waste of time and all.)

He – “They oughta start with field trips.  I mean, what do they take kids on those for anyway?  We never went on any.”

Me – (Wondering in which hayseed school district he was mis-educated, but not wanting to further the festivities.)

Thinking my choice of words, which were near to getting me “Kid Rocked” from the Casa De Waffle, would again cause him to stop, I continued with the crossword and went back into the “head down” mode.

Again, he decided to opine.

He – “We used to take our lunch to school, they could cut out all that fat stuff they feed the kids for free, that’d save some money.”

Me –

So, to re-cap:  It’s 10 months, and we get paid for 10 over 12 months.  I’m sure the math was too tough for him.   We get 10 months of pay but it is

s -t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d  o-u-t

over 12 month, just in case that isn’t clear.

Field Trips teach.  As a child we went to Memorial Hall in Dayton to hear the  symphony, the Museum of Science and Natural History, and The Miamisburg Mound to name a few. 

The Arts, Science, and History.  See we learned something. 

And school lunch isn’t free, unless your family qualifies.  And it’s a federal program, the last vestige of the New Deal.  So, the county gets reimbursed for the meals provided to all students, even the free ones.  As to the adults that eat there, where else can  you get a nutritionally balanced meal for $3.00?  Oh, yeah, if it isn’t balanced, it’s your own fault.  Choose wisely!

As to Mr. Opinon, that’s good advice for you too.  Choose wisely! 

I’m not always nice!

Thank goodness he didn’t bring UP  ”No Child Left Behind” .

We all do it, and we all get in trouble for it, and we all try to “fix” it, but … casual conversation can kill ya’!

Conversation is the window to someone’s personality, or personalities as it were.  When we hear someone talk, we make judgements on their intelligence, moral views, education, regionality, and whether we want to “friend” them on Facebook. 

And so do they!

There are those out there…and I’m not accusing anyone…who suffer from Bad Conversation Behavior, or BCB as I like to call it.

BCB can instantly de-rail a potential friendship, relationship, job interview, or business deal.  If you suffer from BCB, you need to know.

Here are some tips.

1.  Don’t be a ‘hijacker’.  This is bad not only at the airport, but in every social venue as well. 

Hijackers don’t let a breath pass between your final thought and their first.  You come to the thrilling climax of your story about Great Aunt Betty’s memory loss and BOOM!  They jump right in with a “one-UPper” about their Great Aunt Alice’s bank heist.

You know the type.  They weren’t listening to you, but they are quite sure you’ll listen to them.  They usually try to top your story, and may on occasion make little of it. 

It’s offensive.  And makes you feel like a victim.

2. Eye contact, there is a happy medium.

In one on one conversation, eye contact is important.  It should be direct, but not too intense.  You want to look at the person, not through the person you’re talking with.  And not too much straying, they want to feel as though your concentrating on this conversation with them, and not other things in the room.   However, don’t stare them down, they just might peg you for a serial killer.

3.  Don’t be the Horse Whisperer.  If I have to ask you more than twice what you said, the conversation is usually over.  Speak UP, speak out.  If it’s not important enough to project then it’s not important enough. 

I’m a ‘low-talker’ and often catch myself drifting off at the end of a sentence.  And people tell  me all the time that I have a soothing voice.  I’m not so sure this is good.  Granted, I could get the kids to sleep, and can still calm a fussy child, but I have to work on projection and enunciation all the time.

4. Inappropriate Humor.  There’s a time and a place.  Know your audience, and know the time and place.  And there are somethings that are never appropriate.  Yes, I know this is a stunner coming from me!

5.  Me, Me, Me…no it’s not all about you.  Don’t be a walking Tweet!  Let the other person talk. And after you’re done bloviating about the insignificancies of your life, listen to the insignificancies of theirs. 

6. Debby Downer – don’t be one!  When a conversation starts with “this sucks” or “my world is falling apart” there is a tendency to RUN, RUN, RUN.  Don’t be the person causing the audience to flee!  You don’t have to fake happiness, when you’re not, but life is not all glum all the time.

7. Don’t be a Dead End Boy.  ‘Yes’ and ‘no’ all the time are answers that reek of disinterest and disengagement.  Granted it is a great way to get rid of someone, but your best friend might just take offense! 

8. Don’t be a Word Processor.  Again, there is a happy medium.  Yesses and noes may say you’re not interested, but too much is still too much.  It can also say, “I’d much rather hear myself talk than hear you!”  If you talk too much, there’s a possibility that most of it will be forgotten.  The ‘take away’ will be that you talk too much.  I’m a talker, SURPRISE!  And often I find myself “fighting for mic time” in a conversation.  One of the hardest lessons to learn was “less is more”.  I still don’t get it sometimes!  Nevertheless, it’s a conversation, not a monologue, diatribe, or Phillipic!

9.  The Mr. I’m Smarter Than You.  You may be, but it’s never nice to point it out.  No one really cares if you read a chapter of War and Peace in Russian everynight.  There should be a balance in the conversation.  If American Idol is the topic and you don’t watch it, oh well.  But don’t expect your conversation partner to get anything from your report on the latest from NPR!  And don’t deride someone for watching what they watch.  I may not approve either, but others aren’t miscreants for not liking what you like!  And really, be nice, don’t obfuscate.

10.  The Shameless Self Promotor.  I’ll just leave that one alone, I really don’t know anything about that topic!

…Daylight Savings Time.

Or, as Mother called it, Fast Time.

Back when we were kids and we’d make the 400 10 hour trip from Germantown, Ohio to Lexington, VA, Mother would always say, “I always forget that they’re on Fast Time here.”

Ohio didn’t do it back then.  Not until the Nixon administration pushed for the entire coutry to go on it.

Tricky Dick, as part of the Energy Conservation Act of 1973 (see, we have cared about Mother Earth for longer than all you whippersnappers think!), added a nationwide change to DST which started in 1974. 

Yes, there were a few rebels, Arizona and Indiana come to mind.  They just didn’t get it, bless their hearts.

Much of the US and Europe have used DST in one way or another since WW I. 

When Wilson was President.

It was used by Germany and Austria, the enemy at that time, to conserve fuel to make electric power.  On April 30, 1916, all the clocks under German control jumped forward and stayed that way until October 1 of the same year. 

Then everyone got their hour of sleep back.

The plan was not formally adopted in the U.S. until 1918. ‘An Act to preserve daylight and provide standard time for the United States‘ was enacted on March 19, 1918.

Use in the United States was sporadic at best.  It wasn’t until the Uniform Time Act of 1966 that most of the country got on board.  With the exceptions of aforementioned Arizona and Indiana.

In the UTA of 66, LBJ, the sitting President signed the bill that had DST begin on the 1st Sunday in April and end on the last Sunday in October.

Just to prove they were worth the votes, the congress of 1986 decided to change things again.  They added the “2 AM” rule, where time changes were made nationwide per time zone at 2 Am.  Just to make things even more uniform. 

In 2005, another change was made…they made it even longer – to quote Stewie, “Thanks a pant load!”  It was to start on the Second Sunday in March, take that April, and end on the First Sunday of November.   I suppose it allowed all the Halloween revelers to drink an hour more.  This is when Indiana finally drank the kool-ade and set the clocks ahead.

Those crazies in Arizona are still fighting the battle against it.  I suppose they have enough heat out there.

Ben Franklin is credited in some cases with “inventing” DST.  Much like Al Gore’s invention of the internet, this is not really fact.  He did suggest while the American Envoy in Paris, that the Parisians save candles by rising earlier to use morning sunlight -wax shortage?  His invention cred probably comes from that.  And after all, he was the father of the adage “early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”

Modern DST was proposed by G. V. Hudson, a New Zealander with time on his hands.  He was an entomologist who collected bugs, and he liked the idea of after work daylight time.  Like I said, he had time and probably bug doo doo on his hands.  This also where the “fist-bump” was first used.

In reality, Daylight Savings Time and all other standard times like Time Zones and such were created by necessity, you know, the Mother of Invention.   No, not Zappa,  Railroads.  Once Europe, The Orient Express, and the United States started crisscrosssing continents with rails, standard schedules were quite necessary.  Afterall, even Mussolini kept the trains running on time.

Even today there are many countries who say, “Fagetaboutit!

Blue = DST, Orange = We quit using it,  Red = We never used it.

DST brings mixed feelings.  There are positive economic effects, retailers and sports producers love it.  Farmers love it.  Public safety folks like it because there is more evening light and less cover for crime.  But most medical professionals feel it has negative impacts as well.  They get all twitchy about the Vitamin D v. Too much Sun Exposure argument.  Please ignore the tan.

But as for me, I get UP early, yet it always throws me off for a few days weeks months.  Ok, I’ll admit it, I’m pretty grumpy until I get my hour of sleep back in November.

Now you know.