There’s a point to this, and I get it.

Model Kristen McMenamy is featured in a new 24-page fashion spread in the September issue of Italian Vogue.  She wears oil-soaked black feathered outfits and looks as though she’s dying on the beach. Photographer Steven Meisel shot the controversial Gulf disaster-inspired images of McMenamy.  The photos show her caught in nets, flopping like a dying animal, and spitting UP oil.

Is good taste dead?

I thought fashion magazines were supposed to show women what they should look like.  And I’m sure someone will show UP at the Emmys wearing a BP inspired dress.  Fashion statements and political statements often pose as one. 

Hey Vogue, most women want to look pretty…that’s why they’re buying your magazine.  Powerful and disturbing images like the ones in September’s issue are designed to make consumers feel badly for consuming.  I find that a tad hypocritical coming from a magazine – after all, isn’t about 100% of the content aimed at consuming, and isn’t about 80% of magazine taken UP by advertisements?

Actually, Vogue, you’re on a par with BP!  Hey,  if you’re worried about the environment so much, save a tree yourself once in a while…skip issues like this

…a little bit of hypocrisy here, because if I could get away with it, I’d do it.

Wear PJs in public, that is.

Really, comfy, easy, breezy, and loose…gotta love it.

But seriously folks….NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

It just should not be done.

I’ve seen them at Wal-Mart, no surprise.

Kroger, again, no surprise.

Criminal court – Thanks, Michael

School – they aren’t supposed to, but some are really good at pulling it off.  There’s one kid, I’m pretty sure he went to clown school, because he wears PJ pants everyday, the bottoms are pulled UP to his knees, like knickers, and his socks always match or coordinate with the pants.  It’s awesomely inappropriate.

Really, he’s a fashion forward fellow, and I’m sure if anyone else could figure out how he “gets it all together”, they’d all be doing it.

But it’s wrong.

I’ve seen them at church, a viewing, and at the Doctor’s office…ok, maybe I’ll excuse that one.  Sick and all.  Poor baby.

Stars do it.

Sporting events – check out the guy on the bench!

And of course, I ‘ve seen them at NASCAR. 

BTW, underwear is required!

As to the rock concerts,  really gals, is it so hard to find a halter top made of flannel?  Could you at least match?

Again, The P in PJs doesn’t stand for PUBLIC!

We all do it, and we all get in trouble for it, and we all try to “fix” it, but … casual conversation can kill ya’!

Conversation is the window to someone’s personality, or personalities as it were.  When we hear someone talk, we make judgements on their intelligence, moral views, education, regionality, and whether we want to “friend” them on Facebook. 

And so do they!

There are those out there…and I’m not accusing anyone…who suffer from Bad Conversation Behavior, or BCB as I like to call it.

BCB can instantly de-rail a potential friendship, relationship, job interview, or business deal.  If you suffer from BCB, you need to know.

Here are some tips.

1.  Don’t be a ‘hijacker’.  This is bad not only at the airport, but in every social venue as well. 

Hijackers don’t let a breath pass between your final thought and their first.  You come to the thrilling climax of your story about Great Aunt Betty’s memory loss and BOOM!  They jump right in with a “one-UPper” about their Great Aunt Alice’s bank heist.

You know the type.  They weren’t listening to you, but they are quite sure you’ll listen to them.  They usually try to top your story, and may on occasion make little of it. 

It’s offensive.  And makes you feel like a victim.

2. Eye contact, there is a happy medium.

In one on one conversation, eye contact is important.  It should be direct, but not too intense.  You want to look at the person, not through the person you’re talking with.  And not too much straying, they want to feel as though your concentrating on this conversation with them, and not other things in the room.   However, don’t stare them down, they just might peg you for a serial killer.

3.  Don’t be the Horse Whisperer.  If I have to ask you more than twice what you said, the conversation is usually over.  Speak UP, speak out.  If it’s not important enough to project then it’s not important enough. 

I’m a ‘low-talker’ and often catch myself drifting off at the end of a sentence.  And people tell  me all the time that I have a soothing voice.  I’m not so sure this is good.  Granted, I could get the kids to sleep, and can still calm a fussy child, but I have to work on projection and enunciation all the time.

4. Inappropriate Humor.  There’s a time and a place.  Know your audience, and know the time and place.  And there are somethings that are never appropriate.  Yes, I know this is a stunner coming from me!

5.  Me, Me, Me…no it’s not all about you.  Don’t be a walking Tweet!  Let the other person talk. And after you’re done bloviating about the insignificancies of your life, listen to the insignificancies of theirs. 

6. Debby Downer – don’t be one!  When a conversation starts with “this sucks” or “my world is falling apart” there is a tendency to RUN, RUN, RUN.  Don’t be the person causing the audience to flee!  You don’t have to fake happiness, when you’re not, but life is not all glum all the time.

7. Don’t be a Dead End Boy.  ‘Yes’ and ‘no’ all the time are answers that reek of disinterest and disengagement.  Granted it is a great way to get rid of someone, but your best friend might just take offense! 

8. Don’t be a Word Processor.  Again, there is a happy medium.  Yesses and noes may say you’re not interested, but too much is still too much.  It can also say, “I’d much rather hear myself talk than hear you!”  If you talk too much, there’s a possibility that most of it will be forgotten.  The ‘take away’ will be that you talk too much.  I’m a talker, SURPRISE!  And often I find myself “fighting for mic time” in a conversation.  One of the hardest lessons to learn was “less is more”.  I still don’t get it sometimes!  Nevertheless, it’s a conversation, not a monologue, diatribe, or Phillipic!

9.  The Mr. I’m Smarter Than You.  You may be, but it’s never nice to point it out.  No one really cares if you read a chapter of War and Peace in Russian everynight.  There should be a balance in the conversation.  If American Idol is the topic and you don’t watch it, oh well.  But don’t expect your conversation partner to get anything from your report on the latest from NPR!  And don’t deride someone for watching what they watch.  I may not approve either, but others aren’t miscreants for not liking what you like!  And really, be nice, don’t obfuscate.

10.  The Shameless Self Promotor.  I’ll just leave that one alone, I really don’t know anything about that topic!

Charles Martel rolling over in his grave.

There are 5 Million Muslims in France.

And France is just a scimitar’s breadth away from banning the Burka!

“Why?”, you ask, is this important? 

And, “Who in the name of Liza Minnelli  is Charles Martel?”

Well, it’s important for many reasons.

France is supposed to be the world’s all in compassing, welcoming, wonderful, the place of love, and all that “stuff”.

As to the Charles Martel question…

…a quick trip through the 8th Century if you don’t mind.

Charles Martel, or Charles the Hammer, was a Frankish (French) nobelman.  Many think he was and call him the King of France, but ah, not so, grasshopper.

He was but a lowly Lord of the Manor.

And he really wasn’t French, he was Belgian. (You know, like the waffle maker I want!)

And frankly, he was pretty awesome.

He called himself  The Duke and sometimes The Prince of the Franks.  He was big on Hebrew National, and was the first to ask whey do we have ten franks, and eight buns per package.

He was a brilliant general,—he lost only one battle in his “career”.  The Battle of Cologne, some say he broke his Aramis.

Considered a Founding Father of the Middle Ages, he is often accused, blamed, credited in the development of feudalism, knighthood, and the whole Chivalry thing.

And, since he was Charlemagne’s grandfather, he’s credited with founding the Holy Roman Empire, (Which I might add, was neither Holy nor Roman, and was barely an empire.)

Nonetheless, Chuck was vitally important to all of Europe and the Western world.

The Umayyad invaders were used to simple Barbarians in Eastern Europe and Spain.  The Hammer’s organized, trained, army was quite a shock!  He, The Hammer,  kicked some Saracen Ass at Tours, said “can’t touch this”, and prevented the Muslim Invasion of Europe and the expansion of the Muslim Empire. 

So, the fact that there are five million Muslims in France, would, let’s see, ummmm, make Le Hammer “tres pissed off”, to say the least.  Not that he was a religious Intolerant, after all, he did let the Protestants and AnaBaptists Pray before he killed them too.

So, back to the 21st Century and the Banning of the Burka.  (France has already banned the Burkini, a full body bathing suit on beaches…after all they did create the Nude Beach at Nice!)

 So, again, why would France ban the burka?

Fashion may be France’s number one priority, but the burka and what it represents “is not welcome in France, and is an attack on French values” according to French President Nicholas Sarkozy.  That whole “French values” thing was really hard to type!

For a nation whose national emblem is “Marianne”, a bare chested woman (most recent copies are based on Catherine Denurve, but the real one came into being long before she was born), concern is growing over the head to toe garb which is usually black or brown, worn with gloves, and is more typical of Saudi Arabia than the streets of Gay Paree!

It is also viewed by millions in France and other places as the emblem of Radical Islam. 

Most of the French see it as an attack on sexual equality, women’s rights, most (again, tee hee) French values, and a jab at the French Republic’s secular foundation.

Remember, after the French Revolution, religion was taboo, marriage was a civil union, and the clergy were stripped of power and possessions. 

A huge part of me says “Go France”. 

And France really has given so many things to the world; Fashion, which we all know is tres important to UP, Fragrance, yes, I wear cologne!, Dry cleaning – who could live without it?, The Metric System, ok that’s not so great. French Fries, Brigette Bardot, and who could forget surrender?

I don’t mean to profile, but if Fatimah comes into the bank while I’m standing in line, and she’s dressed from brow to bottom in a black burka, UP is gonna’ hit the floor.  And if she’s at the airport, I’m hittin’ the Hertz Counter and driving my butt to wherever I’d planned on going.  The Burka scares me too.

So, I say let’s give this one to the French.  They may have dropped the ball on leg warmers in the 80s, but this is a good idea, and maybe they’ll ban those new Goga pants from Old Navy too!