“As dog ownership increases in China, many view the annual dog-eating festival as cruel and unusual.”

That’s the opening line from an article this past week on “The Week”, an online publication.

No kidding, cruel and unusual. 

How about GROSS!

And people get mad at me because I won’t eat in a Chinese restaurant where I can’t see the kitchen.

The leading nabobs of Jinhau City, China have decided to put down the ginsu knives and end the six  hundred year old tradition of cooking and eating dogs.  The tradition started the Ming dynasty…you know, the one with all the pretty vases…gross and grace all in one ruling dynasty.

Supposedly, a Ming leader was trying to invade Jinhua and killed all the dogs so that their barking wouldn’t alert the city fathers.  To celebrate the invasion, the Mings whipped UP some Mu Shu Mutt and served it around town.  Thus, a tradition was born.

You know, during the War of Northern Aggression, when Vicksburg was under siege, the Vicksburgians ate rats to stay alive, and I for darn sure don’t remember any ads hyping UP the Vicksburg Rat Festival, do you?

But, alas, the tradition stuck in China.  As many as 10,ooo dogs would be slaughtered each year at the festival and served UP in many ways. 

Apparently, as the world becomes more and more PC, and the Chinese realize they aren’t they only people on earth, some of the locals have said “Just say no to Fido” and called for a halt to the festival.

Doggie dining is – thank goodness – not as big in China as it used to be, but the Chinese Astronauts did eat dog while in space!  But dog ownership has increased in China, where it was once banned as a “borgeois habit” during the cultural revolution.  And I’m guessin’ that when little Yang Min and Mong Toy came home from school and Spot was missing from the dog house and that chicken leg looked awfully familiar, the shit hit the fan!

Not every one is happy that the festival is ending.  Some of the locals felt that since it was passed from generation to generation, it should remain as part of the culture.  Quaint it ain’t, if you ask me, and while we’re on that passing things along topic;  senility, imbicility, lunacy, and other ‘ilities’ are passed along too.

Frankly, this festival going away will make people happier than the end of panty-hose!

So, the dogs are resting easy in Jinhua City, but the cat on the corner is watching it’s back!

Arsenic in apple juice! Fed to babies! And it probably came from China!

Oprah’s favorite Television Doc, Dr. Oz is under fire from the FDA and moms everywhere for causing fear and dread in the hearts and minds of moms everywhere regarding the…wait for it…dangers of apple juice.

Well, my kids are goners!

Oz, the top TV doc, said on his Fox show last week, that testing by a New Jersey lab had found what he suggested were troubling levels of arsenic in many brands of juice.

New Jersey, BTW has the most toxic dumps in America, I’m sure there’s no correlation.  But, it does make one go “hmmmm.”

The FDA, which I’m sure we all trust implicitly, said its own tests show ‘no such thing’.  They even tested some of the same juice batches Oz’s study used.

One part of the FDA’s statement says, “There is no evidence of any public health risk from drinking these juices.”, with the stamp of a foot!

The shit hit the fan flap escalated Thursday, when Oz’s former medical school classmate and former BFF, Dr. Richard Besser poo-poohed him on ABC’s “Good Morning America”.

Besser said, Ozzie’s “extremely irresponsible” report was akin to “yelling ‘Fire!’ in a crowded theater.”

OK, that might be a bit harsh.

Besser was running the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention before the lure of more cash dragged him away from the ATL to join ABC news.

As I’ve reported before, arsenic is naturally present in water, air, food and soil. 

According to the FDA, organic arsenic passes through the body quickly and is essentially harmless. Inorganic arsenic — the type found in pesticides — can be toxic and may pose a cancer risk if consumed at high levels or over a long period.

I, for one, would not run out and spend a lot of cash having my kids pet scanned, but if you’re a worry-wart, that’s an option.

The big beef:  “The Dr. Oz Show” did not break down the type when it tested several dozen juice samples for total arsenic. As a result, the FDA said the results are misleading.

Translation, they didn’t do it the government way, i.e. the right way.

Furthermore, the agency’s own tests found far lower total arsenic levels from one of the same juice batches the Oz show tested — 2 to 6 parts per billion of arsenic versus the 36 that Oz’s show had claimed.

OK, maybe Oz’s testers are newbies.  Or, maybe the FDA’s testers can’t count.  I for one, would think it hard to count all those parts, and it seems to me that counting to a billion would take a while.

In a letter published on the Oz show’s website, Nestle, who’s Gerber Juicy Juice was tested,  said it told the program’s producer in advance that the method the show’s lab used was intended for testing waste water, not fruit juice, and “therefore their results would be unreliable at best.”

The FDA, in a huff, sent a letter prior to the show being aired, and threatened to post its findings and the letters online if the program proceeded.

Oz, undaunted, went ahead.

The Oz website version says, “American apple juice is made from apple concentrate, 60 percent of which is imported from China.”

The show tested three dozen samples from five brands, and Oz claimed that 10 had more arsenic than the limit allowed in drinking water — 10 parts per billion.

The FDA claims that the arsenic in water tends to be inorganic, which justifies the strict regulations. 

Organic arsenic is what is usually found in food and juices. Tests by thousands of labs and researchers conducted over the last 20 years show apple juice typically has fewer than 10 parts per billion total arsenic.

Oprah’s moved on to other venues, and the TV hounds are all clawing the top spot on daytime TV left by her departure.

Sensationalism?

Probably.

Tim Sullivan, a spokesman for Oz’s show, said in an interview: “We don’t think the show is irresponsible. We think the public has a right to know what’s in their foods.”

I’ll have to agree that the public has a right to know what’s in their foods, and I’ll add that Dr. Oz needs to check his data before airing a show just for ratings.

Oz also said, “There’s no question in my mind folks can continue drinking apple juice. … There have been no cases at all of kids being harmed by elevated levels of arsenic, and the kinds of numbers we are talking about are not high enough to cause acute injury,” he said.

He said he was concerned instead about the possible ill effects from drinking apple juice for many years.

Ok, now I’m confused.

Is it good or bad?

Even Dr. Oz doesn’t know.  And we’re really not in Kansas anymore, Toto, are we?

I love the kitchen.  We spent a great deal of time there as a family, and all of us love cooking and cooking together. 

The crowd makes it faster, “funner”, and it makes for a lot of good memories.

While I was in college in Chattanooga, TN in the late 70s, TLW discovered a recipe that she felt was sure fired to get me to eat my broccoli.

And it was.

Broccoli Ham Roll-UPs became a favorite of ours pre-parenthood and a huge favorite of the kids as well.  Now that they are both living elsewhere, every time I make them, I post it on Facebook and they always respond with “jealous”.

The recipe came from a Good Housekeeping Magazine.  The article was entitle “30 Minute Meal”. 

And we thought Rachel Ray thought that one UP!! 

We’ve changed it over the years and made it our own.  The original called for canned ham – expensive!!, and Grands biscuits – expensive!!  We started using left over ham and the less expensive Pillsbury canned biscuits.  And we added the Cheese Sauce ourselves.

Our children, Shelby and Donovan  , started helping out in the kitchen as soon as they could.  From rolling out the biscuits to grating the cheese, they pitched in.  It was one of, if not their favorite meal.

So, here goes.  A Brads’ family recipe, memory, and money saver that feeds four.

Broccoli Ham Roll UPs

What you’ll need

For the BHRs:

About 10 oz. leftover ham, chopped well.  I use the food processor, I’m lazy that way.  (You can use deli ham, canned ham, left over Christmas ham…really it all works!)

1 can (10 count) biscuits.  The cheaper the better.

1 box frozen broccoli spears.  Buy it on sale.

For the Sauce:

3 tsp butter

2 tbsp flour

¼ tsp salt

1/8 tsp pepper

1 to 1 and ½ cups cheese, grated.

Pre-heat oven to 375 (forget the directions on the can, we’re not doing that.)

Cook broccoli in microwave as directed, maybe 1 or 2 minutes LESS than recommended.

Roll out each biscuit into ovals.  The kids can help, they love it and you can teach them to clean up the mess as they go also!

Take about an ounce of ham and 1 broccoli spear cut in half long ways, and place on each flat oval biscuit.  Roll UP, place on a cooking stone or cookie sheet.  (I’m a big stone fan, so I use that.)

Bake for 18 to 20 minutes at 375.  Again, this is a departure from the directions, so you may want to watch your product to make sure it doesn’t get too brown.

While they are cooking, make the cheese sauce.  It should all come out at the same time.

You start by melting the butter on LOW heat.

Then you add your flour, salt, and pepper  to make a roux.

Once the flour-butter mixture is bubbly and smooth, add 1 cup of milk.  Stir constantly, bring to a boil, and allow to thicken.  This could take up to 5 or more minutes.  Keep the heat low, and follow the Betty Crocker Recipe for “white sauce” on page 356.

When it boils (which it may never do) or thickens, remove from heat and add cheese and stir.

It should look similar to this.

Add cheese, and stir until smooth.

Place two on each plate and cover with cheese sauce to your liking.

You won’t have to holler for dinner twice, and they’ll want it often.

…I stop at Waffle Houses along the way, they usually get things right.

But, alas, while on vacation last week, there was no Waffle House in sight, and being really hungry on Friday morning, and needing coffee badly, I stopped at another breakfast shop.

I’ll not mention any names, but Waffle’s isn’t their specialty. 

My order was pretty simple, like I’ve said before, I’m a creature of habit.

Scrambled eggs with cheese, wheat toast, and since I was starving, I went out on a limb and ordered sausage.

When the waitress placed the plate in front of me, I was sure it was someone else’s order.

The eggs were scrambled and toast was wheat.

But, the hash-browns and the bacon gave me pause.

I didn’t order them.

And I ordered cheese in my eggs.  There was none.

And there was no butter on the toast, and the jelly was strawberry, and I remember saying, “Anything but strawberry.”

Sorry, I just don’t like it.

I indicated politely, that my plate wasn’t what I ordered.

She could not have been more surprised. 

Now, I’m sure it wasn’t someone else’s order as there were only two other people there…now I know why…and both of them were eating.  Probably not what they ordered, but they were eating anyway.

When I told her that A. I didn’t order bacon, and B. I didn’t want hash-browns, and C. I wanted butter on my toast, she looked completely surprised.

Completely.

Perplexed even.

As in, really, really surprised.

I indicated that I wanted what I ordered, and again, she was surprised.  The look of exasperation was one for the record books.

After a small argument with the cook, he agreed to fry UP some sausage.

She came back with a the same plate.  No butter, and a melted piece of cheese on top of the eggs. 

Sorry, but that’s just not what cheese eggs are supposed to look like!

Again, she was surprised when I answered with a “No, thanks.” to her question of , “Do you want the bacon anyway, while you wait for your sausage.”

My third request for butter was met with a scowl.

Breakfast just shouldn’t be this hard.

And cheese eggs should have cheese IN them, not on top of them.

And toast needs butter.

Frankly, I was beginning to look around for my heart doctor!

When she brought the sausage patties, I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I’d ordered links.

Next time, I’ll just drive further.  There has to be a Waffle House down the road.