I hate to say it, but, “I told you so!”

OK, so I don’t hate to say it.

Consumer Reports is dishing the dirt on coffee!

In the upcoming March issue, CR says that after tasting 37 different blended coffees, “they couldn’t find ONE that measured up to its “excellent” or “very good” ratings.”

The not so stellar report comes after an abysmal year for the coffee industry.  There were short supplies of high-quality Arabica beans from Columbia.  And on the heels of that came sky high premiums that made roasters look elsewhere for blend options that were more available. (Translation – cheap beans.)

The top one only ranked “good”.

That was Starbucks’ House Blend, which costs the company 26 cents per cup and frankly, tastes burnt to me.

What are you paying for your coffee?

$4 or $5?

Green Mountain Signature Nantucket Blend Medium Roast, which A. I’ve never heard of, and B. We don’t have in the South, came in at 23 cents per cup. 

It got a “good” too. (Any of my readers who can get it, please let me know if it’s good!)

Blends are the best-selling type of ground coffee and contain beans from at least two regions or countries according to CR.  (Diversity matters in the coffee industry too.)

The highest score for the 13 decaffeinated coffees also failed to reach the top two categories.

Why is decaf in the study?

It’s not coffee.

Death before decaf!

But, nonetheless, the “top” scoring varieties included Allegro Organic Decaf (or earth shoe coffee), Blend Medium Dark, Peet’s Decaf House Blend, Caribou Daybreak Coffee Morning Blend Decaf and Bucks County Decaf Breakfast blend.

Never heard of them, with maybe the exception of Bucks County…I think I actually met them once!

Consumer Reports has a rating criteria in which the tasters look for specific characteristics including the flavor and aroma.

Is there any other way to judge coffee than flavor and aroma?

Well, the buzz of course.

And, who the heck are these tasters? 

Nobody asked me!

CR says we coffee drinkers should not count on familiar brands names or high price tags to be what we expect.  They claim the cost doesn’t “accurately reflect the cost per cup due to varying grind densities, and recommended ratios of coffee to water.”

…not even sure what that means, other your expensive cup of coffee is probably gonna taste like the “New Coke”.

Ok, a cup of coffee at the Waffle House is $1.33 with tax, and you can sit there for HOURS and drink it without anyone telling you to go away.

And, Waffle House wasn’t in the study.

Snobs!

Redneck Latte anyone?

…what’s good for you and what isn’t.

For years now, all the Calorie Commandos, Diet Directors, and Health Nazis have been telling me things like, “cheese is fattening”, “cheese is bad for you”, “cheese is killing you”. 

Frankly, I’m tired of it!

I love cheese.

All kinds!

And I’m not ashamed to admit it.

If you look at the 100 things about me page of the RLR, you’ll see that I think cheese improves just about anything.

And it does.

Well now, The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition is reporting that women who ate one ounce of full fat cheese everyday gained less weight than women who didn’t.

So there!

According to the report, it seems that WHOLE FAT dairy may pump up your metabolism! Take that all you Nazi Vegan Anti Cheese People.  You know who you are, the ones who look at me like I’m hiding a secret life when I hit the cheese bowl twice at the salad bar!  Yeah, it’s okay now, the Journal said so! 

Apparently cheese contains conjugated linoleic acid.  Yes, I know it sounds like floor wax, and probably is, but who cares?  It pumps up your metab! 

Again, I say So there!

So use goat cheese instead of mayo on that sandwich,  put parmesan on your veggies, melt cheddar – it’s better!

Go whack, snack on Monterrey Jack!

When ya gotta, have ricotta!

If you’re all alone, make it provolone!

Listen fella, it’s mozzerella!

Ok, I’m annoying even myself here…

…but I’m just so H A P P Y!

I can’t wait until the “Lettuce Makes You Fat” report comes out!

Everyone has a place in the kindgom of family.

The extended family, that is.

You know…the in-laws.

I am sure I’m the favorite son-in-law, the competition isn’t all that tough.

And I cook, help clean up the kitchen after holiday meals, and am generally just “a great guy”.

Work with me, OK!

But, the reality is that with each family member: neice, nephew, sister-in-law and so on.  You have a distinct value.

We’ve spent many Christmases at Grandma’s house in Florida.

They are always fun, the food is GREAT, and the family interaction entertaining if nothing else.

This Christmas due to the busy schedules of my children, Florida was out of the question.  Shelby had to work Christmas Eve and Donovan worked Christmas Eve morning. 

They both got home on Christmas Eve – late.

I worked the day after Christmas, so Florida was just not an option.

Enter my Nephew Nick.

Now, Nick’s a great kid for a Gator fan, and always gives me a great big, sideways, man hug when he sees me.

I now know why I’m so popular.

When his dad broke the news that UP wasn’t coming to Florida this Christmas, Nick looked – according to his dad – crestfallen.

His reply to the news, “UP isn’t coming for Christmas?

long thoughful pause

“Will there be a cheese ball?”

Yeah, it’s great to know just how important you are. 

And a tad humbling.

So, as a added benefit to today’s post, here’s my cheeseball recipe.  I’ve made it for over 35 years, and have to give credit to an old friend from the Phone Company, Susan Lovinggood.

UP’s Cheese Ball

2 pkgs of Cream Cheese

2 small jars of Armour Dried Beef, chopped finely

2 Scallions (I won’t tell you that scallions are green onions, since Jenny was tres offended when I defined them for her…after all, she’s always bemoaning her cooking skills…)  chopped finely

1 tsp of Worchestshire sauce or A-1, your choice

1/4 tsp of garlic powder or garlic salt, or you can get all Barefoot Contessa and actually press a clove of garlic.

Mix well, I use a hand mixer, but a food processer will work.

Shape into ball, I wrap it in wax paper so as not to get it all over my hands…and touch it all over…eww.

Let sit in fridge for about four hours, remove from fridge about 30 minutes before serving.

Serve with Wheat Thins or Triscuits.

It’s great!  Enjoy.

You never know, it may just become your claim to fame in the family.

…now, they’re giving the Sun-Maid Raisin girl a make over.

Ok, Hillary might need a make over, Tyra may need to lose a few pounds, but leave the Sun-Maid Raisin Girl alone.

In the world of advertising  only Coca-Cola is more iconic and recognizable than the Sun-Maid raisin girl, and we all know what happened to Coke in the 80s.  It’s just never been the same. 

Sun-Maid

Sun-Maid recently decided to fall into lockstep with Betty Crocker, Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth’s in giving the female face of their product a trip to the set of Nip Tuck.  They are changing her from to a young, early 20th-century girl into a buxom, modern young woman.

Some folks say she looks like Barbie crashing an Amish barn raising. 

 
Lorraine Collett Peterson became the Sun-Maid Raisin girl in 1915.  According to the company’s website, Lorraine  was discovered drying her black hair curls in the sunny backyard of her parents’ home in Fresno, California.  Petersen was then asked to pose for a watercolor painting holding a basket of grapes while wearing a sunbonnet. In the years since, the company has brought her up to date, but every variation has always been based on the original pose by Petersen. The new computer-animated version of the Sun-Maid girl which is currently featured in television ads is “a departure from the classic design that harkened back to a time when life was much simpler, more rural, a lot less hectic.”

Sun-Maid

 
The Weekly Standard  said on their blog, that she looked as thought Juila Roberts decided to “don a sun bonnet” and start picking grapes.  And the “feminist” webiste  Jezebel.com says she looks like she’s had some “implants”. 

Well now!

 For some reason, the world just  noticed.  The new look was actually introudced THREE years ago.  Sun-Maid says it was to introduce healthier lifestyle choices.

Whaaaaa?

“This is as good a time as any to get on the wave of health and nutrition,”  says Barry Kriebel, Sun-Maid’s Prez.  He  also added that he felt the new look was a reasonabl modernization, saying “You’re not going to see her dancing or kicking up her heels out in the vineyard, but have her do what is appropriate for her to do, based on her history but also being a contemporary person living in the 21st century.”

I don’t want her in the 21st Century…1915 was good too!
Rumor has it that this new Sun-Maid girl might be given a name and featured in future advertisements doing some of the things modern women typically do, like going to the gym, and shopping at the market.

No!

And in a shameless move to appease the rest of the world, she will speak multiple languages.

What, a talking raisin box.  I know the 60s were rough on me, but nooooooooooo.

And don’t we have enough languages here already?

My guess is their just kissing up to countries where Sun-Maid sells raisins.

Sun-Maid, is the largest producer of raisins (which I love BTW)  in the world. 

Betty, Aunt Jemima, Uncle Ben, Tony the Tiger, Joan Rivers…

Who’s next?  The Land O’ Lakes Maiden?