Florida has it’s problems, legal and otherwise. 

Nancy Grace was able to convince a nation that Casey Anthony was guilty, but the state prosecutor wasn’t able to convince 12 jurors she was.

Taxes are high.

Insurance is high.

Unemployment is high.

The beaches are crowded with drunken teens.

And it’s really hot there!

So, it’s kinda nice to see the Sunshine State win one once in a while.

And win they did.

Well, it took 32 years, but at least they caught Frederick Barrett.  Mr. Barrett, who is now, unlike me (did ya hear that Jenny), 60, had been on the run for 32 years!!

Convicted of murdering a man who gave him and a buddy a ride on the Florida Turnpike years ago, he slinked out of the Raiford State Prision, in the town of the same name, during a power outage.

Ok, first of all I lived in Florida for 18 years, and if prisoners can sneak out during power outages, the streets must be full of them, ’cause the power goes out all the time!

Secondly, 32 years?

Really, this guy must have been good.  They found him in Colorado.  He was living under an assumed name.  A tattoo on his hand ‘convinced police they had the right guy’.

And, he’s back in the slammer.  For life.

Which is good, since he, unlike Casey, was found guilty.

It amazes me that he could freely roam the nation and travel as far as Hawai’i all those years.

But, then, that’s one nice thing about America, we are free.  And that shouldn’t change.

Florida just needs to make the joint more secure.

Mr. Barrett was found in Colorado, as I mentioned, growing pot.  He also had guns.  Something tells me he didn’t go straight once he was out of the slammer.

But, alas, the thing that bothers me most, is the fact that through all those years, no one mentioned to him that the Unibrow was out.  He had one when he went into jail, and he kept it!!  Now, that’s a fasion no no!

Frankly, I think another 30 years is only fair!

I find it a little hard to get excited about the UPcoming wedding of Prince Albert of Monaco and Charlene Wittstock.   Or as I like to call it, Royal Wedding II.  I’m sure it will be a little less, you know, kinda like Hangover II.

Let’s face it, they’re not Wills and Kate.

Oh, I’m happy for them, wish them the best and all that crap stuff, but seriously, he’s 53, she’s 33, December/May, he’s already got two kids from previous “relationships”, it’s just…well, it’s just D U L L!

Sadly, Prince Albert took after the male line of the Kelly side and didn’t get the dashing features of his father.  Grace was beautiful, but I’m guessin’ she’d make an ugly guy.

And, Monaco’s not the British Monarchy.  It’s a “sunny town for shady people” according to Frank Sinatra, and it’s full of scandal, and crooks.

Wait a minute…it’s getting more interesting.  The world’s smallest country is governed by a Constitutional Monarchy.  It’s changed hands over the years, but has one of the oldest ruling families.  The Monegasque ruling family, the Grimaldis,  are not royal highnesses, they are serene highnesses.  It’s kind of a step down from the rest of the Royals…Imperial, Royal, Serene. 

Monaco is known for gambling, as a tax haven, and where the rich and famous played in the 1950s and 1960s and before.  It’s still a popular place, and it will be packed this weekend for the wedding.  There are 8,000 people in Monaco, and at least that many are expected to join the natives for the party.

As to the shady stuff, some reports have trouble a-brewing.  Just days before the next big royal wedding, a rumor surfaced that the Rhodesian swimmer a.k.a ‘the bride to be’ had called it off.  L’Express magazine’s website posted a storystating that Charlene fled to the airport with a one way ticket home to South Africa.  Of course the government is denying all this.  According to the Palace, she’s no Runaway Bride. 

“Charlene Wittstock had learned a few hours earlier that the private life of the man she was about to marry, who publicly acknowledged in 2005 a child from an adulterous relationship, was not as exemplary as she had imagined,” can be found on the French magazine’s website.  Duh, he’s a spoiled playboy.  Shocker!!

Doesn’t she read the papers?

It’s a big deal for the Prince of Monaco to tie the knot.  With out an heir, the principality goes back to France.  Oh, there’s an heir, er heiress, right now, Princess Caroline and her children stand to inherit.

No one wants either of those to happen.

So, here’s wishing them luck in the baby-making department. 

I really do wish them the best, and I’m not being snarky just because I can’t afford to go to Monaco and play in the sun. 

I’m sure the bride will look beautiful, Estee Lauder, who’s birth anniversary day is today, said “Beauty is an attitude. There’s no secret. Why are all brides beautiful? Because on their wedding day they care about how they look.”  Let’s hope she does!  And let’s hope she comes back!

And after all, Mother always said, “Pretty is as pretty does.”

The nation that gave us Coco Chanel, Pierre Balmain, Dior, LaCroix, Gaultier, Givenchy, and Ives St. Laurent has an Abertrampy and Skank on the Champs-Elysees.

What is the world coming to?

And, there are days when the line of people waiting to get into the store is 150 people long!!

And that’s a short line!

Seriously, what is the world coming to?

A&F is just one of many US stores looking to Europe for more sales.  With too many stores in the US and the economy in the toilet, the easiest way to increase sales is to invade other lands.

“Lafayette, we are here!”, takes on a whole new meaning. 

Back in May, before Abercrombie’s store opened in Paris (writer shakes head in disgust) , the Columbus, Ohio-based company flew in more than 100 male models.  Parading them shirtless, and with their  jeans slung just above the groin – as only Abertrampy and Skank can do, where they caused a near riot in front of the store.

Teenagers screamed, while older, more elegant Parisians looked on with an air of disdain – as only the French can do.

But, alas, the gendarmes arrived, restored order and demanded that Abercrombie to slap some of its cheap and tacky rags on the models. Paris has rules you know, one of the regulations bars partial nudity on the Champs-Elysees.

Imagine that!

One young Frenchwoman after waiting four hours to get into the store, said, “Young people here don’t think badly about America — we’re American in our heads, we watch all the U.S. television series: ‘Gossip Girl,’ ‘Glee,’ ‘Vampire Diaries.’ ”

Well, I guess that explains it.

OK, send the kids out to play!

I’ll wait a few minutes…

…hurry UP, times a wastin’.

I really wanted to call this “Is that a Hebrew National in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”, but Mae West’s estate  has lawyers, so I won’t use that.

This is a Fashion Friday Ass Of The Week Combo Package!

NY Congressman, and former roommate of The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart,  Anthony David Weiner – no, I’m not making this UP – thought he tweeted a picture of a man in his underwear who was visibly aroused to his girlfriend, but it ended UP on his yfrog account.

OOPS!

Did I mention he’s married?

Well, he is.   He married a long time assistant of Hillary Clinton last year.   Former President Bill Clinton presided over the ceremony.  Hmmmm.

Did I mention he was considering a run for they Mayor’s Office in New York City?

Well, he was.

Arnold is so relieved!

Weiner says his twitter account was hacked, his TIVO is on the fritz, and his Facebook account was hacked as well.  Facebook says there is no evidence his FB accout was hacked.  And on top of that, yfrog links only to Twitter, not Facebook.  And TIVO has nothing to do with it.  Someone needs a better spin doctor!

Hmmm.  Damn those Republicans!!

He did say his toaster was still loyal.

Seriously, he said that, on Twitter.

The Tool Tweet turn on try was somehow, linked to his yfrog account.

Note to self, don’t get a yfrog account.

The Washington Whatcom College woman whom Weiner was wooing by sending the tweet, deleted her account.  The website, Big Government originally reported the story in their article “Hacked or Hung” – oh how I want to write for those people - unearthed the tweet, and broke the news.  The woman deleted her Twitter account, but Ironic Surealism, another site found a second account linked to the woman.

The woman who is believed to have had the Twitter account @GennetteNicole, tweeted in April, “I wonder what my boyfriend @repweiner is doing right now?

Ok, honey, lay off the Tequila, it’s making you stUPid!

It hit Twitter by storm last week, and was instantly dubbed “weinergate”…again…I soooooooo want to write for these people!

Of course, he’s been all over the news this week, even Anderson Cooper’s producer got called a jackass by Weiner by him.  Hello pot, meet kettle!  And Weiner hasn’t “categorically denied” the picture is of him, he is, however denying that he sent it!

So, my Fashion Friday advice, guys – if you plan on sending a dirty picture of yourself to your girlfriend, or even taking one of yourself, and you’re a US Congressman, and your last name is for the Love of Liz, WEINER, expect for some journalist, blogger, or reporter to dig it UP!

The picture was UP on line, I’m not sure it still is, but if you just have to see it, you can bring it UP by clicking here.