Well, I wasn’t, but Sydney Spies is.

Sydney Spies, a Colorado Senior High School student is all UPset because those popular kids on the yearbook staff think her senior picture is too sexy for publication.

Yearbook pictures have changed since I graduated in 1970.

And, I wasn’t too sexy for anything…but, that’s a whole ‘nother Springer Show.

The Colorado Coed and her mother are all UP in arms about this, and are threatening legal action.

The popular kids on the yearbook staff are riled because their yearbooks have been award winners – I didn’t know there were awards for yearbooks – in the past, and they want to keep UP the tradition and not do anything to lower their standards.

Sydney, her mother, Miki (shocker) and a handful of high school students staged a protest because Sydney was “being denied her freedom of expression.”

The school officials say the outfit violates dress code, well – let’s hope so!

Here’s a tip, Sydney.  Your grandchildren are going to look at that yearbook and say, “Wow, Granny dressed like a ho!”

So, let it go.  Move on.  Hit the mall, and buy a top…a whole top!

Recently, Jennifer Aniston was name the Hottest Woman of All Time by MensHealth.com.

Ok, I’m a Faniston, I love Jen, think Brad’s a fool for dumping her, and want to smack John Mayer for all the nasty things he said about her in Esquire,

But, the hottest woman of all time?

Sorry, I just don’t think so.

The poll voted on by Men’s Health readers, contributors, and writers included the 100 Sexiest/Hottest Women of all time.

All time.

Really, did they meet, or even see a real likeness of the great beauties of yesteryear.

The list of 100 started at the bottom with Catherine Bach, a.k.a. Daisy Duke!  And ended of course, at #1 with Aniston.

Frankly, after looking at the poll, all the voters are either seriously mentally deficient or drunk!

Maybe both.

Paris Hilton was higher on the list than either Sophia Loren or Elizabeth Taylor.

Granted, Sophia is old and Liz is dead, but both – in their present states – are still hotter than Paris!

Tina Turner was 99 – drunk, I say, all of them!

Here’s the list, Bottom to Top:  Catherine Bach, Tina Turner, June Wilkerson, Cybill Shepherd, Mila Kunis, Julia Roberts, Kathleen Turner, Linda Ronstadt, Dolly Parton, Susan George, Barbara Eden, Phoebe Cates, Dorothy Dandridge, Christina Hendricks, Grace Kelly (@ # 87!!!!), Sasha Grey, Loni Anderson, Lili St. Cyr, Audrey Hepburn, Clara Bow, Elle MacPherson, Kim Novak, Jane Seymour, Kelly LeBrock, Anita Ekberg, Brigette Bardot!!!, we’re only UP to 75, Demi Moore, Jane Russell, Suzanne Somers, Cheryl Tiegs, Natassja Kinski, Elizabeth Taylor (# 69), Tawney Kitaen, Jean Harlow, Alicia are you kidding me Silverstone, Nicole Scherzinger, Kylie Minogue, Tyra – kiss my fat ass – Banks, Veronica Lake, Denise Richards, Jennifer Lopez, Diane Lane, Rita Hayworth, Pam Grier, Bo Derek, Mae West, Jessica Alba, Lauren Bacall, Carrie Fisher!!!!, Kim Basinger, Brooklyn Decker, Jenna Jameson, Kathy Ireland, Sophia Loren at # 47, Paris Hilton, Michelle Pfeiffer, Aishwarya Rai, Erin Andrews, Brooke Sheilds, Miranda Kerr, Mariah Carey, Cindy Crawford, Teri Hatcher, Claudia Schiffer, Betty Grable, Halle Berry, Claudia Cardinale, Beyonce, Penelope Cruz, Farrah Fawcett, Jayne Mansfield, Anna Kournikova, Ann-Margaret, Natalie Portman, Kim – I’m hurling now – Kardashian, Gisele Bundchen, Cameron Diaz, Carmen Electra, Salma Hayek, Monica Bellucci, Heidi Klum, Heather Locklear, Shakira, Anna  Nicole Smith, Christie Brinkley, Jenny McCarthy, Megan Fox, Catherine Deneuve, Scarlett Johansson, Sharon Stone, Angelina Jolie, Jane Fonda, Pamela Anderson, Bettie Page, Ursula Andress, Madonna, Britney Spears, Marilyn Monroe, Raquel Welch, and Jennifer.

Seriously, drunk!

Where’s Jessica Lange?  Anouk Amiee?  Lana Turner?

And what about the great beauties of the past?

Lily Langtry, The Divine Sarah, Cleopatra, Jenny Churchill?

And everyone in Germantown is asking, “Why isn’t Connie Diver on that list?”

Now, I know you’re all thinking, I’d put Liz at # 1, but I wouldn’t.  I am a fan, I think she was a great beauty, but the sexiest, hottest woman of all time?  Not really.

Mine’s not even on the list!

Anne Hathaway!

Gotta run now, I have a subscription to cancel!

Really, who’s not wearing them today?

Day after Thanksgiving, added pounds, the start of the Christmas Season.

Yeah, it’s Christmas, not the holiday season.

And it’s stretchypantwaistband season too!

The average American gains 5 to 10 pounds over the holidays.  Five to ten pounds!  So, unless you take that off in January, over a period of 30 years, you’ll add 150 to 300 pounds to your frame.

Ouch!

But, back to stretch pants.  And by stretch pants, I mean draw-string jogging pants.  So, on this day after turkey day, get out there and jog that dressing off.

Today, jogging suits aren’t a fashion faux pas!

…this is not a cooking post!

Details magazine, which I get monthly, and have no clue why, since I’ve not sent them a dime, has an article that says that buns are the new abs, for men.

My first thought is, “How am I supposed to get my butt on my stomach, and who would want that?”

Then I read the article.  Men are worrying about their backsides as much as their abs these days!

Great!  200 crunches a day, with little result, and now I have to worry about my AZZ!

I know, I know, rock hard abs are a combination of work, diet, and genetics, and that ship sailed a long time ago, so I’ll never look like this.

But, I do work on it.

Now, I have to worry about my behind? 

The article recommended that one do “duck walks”, and that kegely thing pregos have to do as well as some other exercises.

Some would say I’m enough of a tight-ass, and that squeezing my butt while waiting on a customer could just lead to some really bad mojo!

And of course, some trainer got a book deal out of all this.  David Kirsch’s new “tome” The Butt Book, hit the shelves and kindles everywhere recently. 

So, guys, get squeezing, get duck walking, get on that glute machine at the gym, seems the ladies want butts that look like this!