Take it from someone who knows.  Bullies are a pain in the butt.

I was a small child, wore todler clothes to the first grade, and I weighed in at 37 pounds, I was six years old.

A walking target.

Well, researchers have found that kids who get bullied and snubbed by peers are probably gonna’ have problems in other parts of their lives as well.

No kiddin?

Supposedly, there are at least three factors in a child’s behavior that can lead to social rejection.  (Social rejection, now isn’t that a pretty phrase for bullied?)

The causes are, according to researchers:

1. Reading nonverbal cues.
2. Understanding their social meaning
3. Thinking of options to resolve social conflicts.

Those who are supposed to know say that 10 to 13 percent of children “experience some sort of social rejection”.   I’m not so sure where they got these numbers, but I’m guessin’ it’s a tad higher.  Everyone is rejected socially at one point or another.  But, not everyone is bullied.

They also tell us in this report that being bullied can result in mental health problems, can increase the polibility that a child will get poor grades, drop out of school, or develop substance abuse problems.   Clark McKown of the Rush Neurobehavioral Center in Chicago says, “It really is an under-addressed public health issue.”

Another ‘expert’ says what a kid learns on the playground could show up in later life.  He claims that when children interact without the guidance of an authority figure,  is when children experiment with the relationship styles they will have as adults.

Ok, who’s leaving their kids alone?  I’m sorry, I can’t even fake surprise on that one.

It all stems from the fact that the number one need of any person is to be liked by other people.  Well duh!

We all want to be liked, but we’re not all gonna’ like everybody. 

After a boat load of studies, and a truck load of money, they claim to have found a few things.

1. Kids don’t see clues.
2. Kids don’t understand clues.
3. Kids don’t know how to react to clues.

They even have a book now that they are recommending.  “It’s So Much Work to Be Your Friend: Helping the Child with Learning Disabilities Find Social Success” (Touchstone, 2006).  I’m sure it’s just an awesome read!  And they claim it works for kids who don’t have disabilites as well. 

These experts have a “process”, and it’s all geared to the bullied, not the bully.

To teach social skills, Lavoie advises a five-step approach in his book.  He claims the process works for children with or without learning disabilities and is best conducted immediately after a transgression has been made.  (Transgression being made by the bullied!!!!)

1) Ask the child what happened and listen without judgment.

2) Ask the child to identify their mistake. (Often children only know that someone got upset, but don’t understand their own role in the outcome.)

3) Help the child identify the cue they missed or mistake they made, by asking something like: “How would you feel if Emma was hogging the tire swing?” Instead of lecturing with the word “should,” offer options the child “could” have taken in the moment, such as: “You could have asked Emma to join you or told her you would give her the swing after your turn.”

4) Create an imaginary but similar scenario where the child can make the right choice. For example, you could say, “If you were playing with a shovel in the sand box and Aiden wanted to use it, what would you do?”

5) Lastly, give the child “social homework” by asking him to practice this new skill, saying: “Now that you know the importance of sharing, I want to hear about something you share tomorrow.”

I for one, think this is a bunch of crap. 

The only thing they got right is listen to the child without judgement.  Now, there’s a parenting tip I can live with.

As to asking the child to identify their mistake: being smaller, stranger, or just different isn’t a mistake.  Ask the bully why he’s a jerk.

I don’t think the kid missed anything other than the opportunity to get the heck out of there before “Felon of the Future” jumped him.  And maybe Emma’s just a big, mean, hateful, future skank!  And maybe he’s just a little wuss!

I think kids have enough imaginary scenarios as it is.  Are mommy and daddy gonna stay together;  am I gonna’ get to the bus without gettin’ my ass kicked?; is the sadistic gym teacher gonna’ make me stand out front in dodge ball?  (OK, I’m not over a few things.)

Social homework? You can’t get most kids to do the homework from school.   Teach the kid to fight, tell him to kick the bully’s ass or die tryin’!

Other kids not liking a child is not the end of the world. Surprising as it is, there are people out there who don’t like me!   But it has nothing to do with bullying.   The kid may have gotten a swirlie because the bigger boys didn’t like him, or as I said before, he may just be a big wuss.  But that doesn’t make it his fault.  The bigger boys are at fault here. 

Apparently that “do unto others” crap was lost in translation.

Maybe I was a little dweeb and pantywaist, but that sure as heck didn’t make it right for El Kabong (a girl in the 3rd grade) to kick my ass everyday on the playground.  Thank God that tramp moved that summer!

And maybe Courtney has blue hair, wears fishnet stockings, and anarchy gloves, but I don’t remember a law being passed saying we should fail her, rail at her, or flog her.

Bullies are bullies.  Bullies need to be stopped. 

Just because the kid next to you in class is weird or just because you can, doesn’t mean you should take his lunch money. 

Sadly, there are bullies in all walks of life.  Middle School, High School, College and the workplace are all just extensions of Elementary School.  Generally, once a bully, always a bully.  And conversely, one would think once bullied, always bullied. 

Ah, not so.

There’s a way out.

So, to everyone of you who’s been beat UP, stuffed in a locker, dragged into the girls room, had toothpaste put in your hair at camp while sleeping, or had someone take your dessert at lunch, I say this:

Shut UP, Stand UP, get mad as hell and don’t take it anymore.

…as a cheap education.

You might get one that is worth less in lifetime value, but they are all expensive.

Even “life lessons learned” can cost you.

But, with College Costs out of control, 401ks tanking, Mommy and Daddy telling some students to ”pay their own way”, some folks have had to get creative to pay for college.

There are signs everywhere that say “The US government has over One Hundred Billion Dollars to Pay for Education”.  Really?  How does one get it?  Seems that most government scholarships are tough to get unless one fits a mold, model, or demographic.

It’s frustrating, and I speak from experience.

The Boy is in School in Nash-Vegas, TN.  In the first year, he and his mother have borrowed over $21,000.  He will probably come out of school $35 to $40 Thousand in debt.

There are worse stories.  Go to Med School. The AMA says the average debt for Doctors coming out of school is $156,456.  And 79% leave Med School with at least $100,000. in debt!

Gee, my co-pay isn’t so painful right now.

My daughter, who was able to “Keep Hope Alive” for most of her college years, left school with about $12,000.  Mom and Dad helped with the rest of her college (we averaged $800.00 per month for five years), and the Georgia HOPE Scholarship paid for a great deal of it.  But, she still came out with debt.  She was able to pay it off quickly.

But, I have friends who have been in their careers eight years and are still paying.

So, like I said, some folks are getting creative.  Bake sales and car washes don’t seem to be enough for most, and there’s only so much plasma one can sell.

One Austrailian student who goes by the name UNIGIRL has auctioned off her virginity to help pay her university fees.

Yes, you read that correctly.

She accepted the highest offer of $36,000. US Dollars or $NZ45,000.00 for my reader in Australia.

According to the Australian, Unigirl is quoted as saying, “I have accepted an offer in excess of $NZ45.000, which is way beyond what I dreamed.”

She also wanted to thank the MORE THAN 30,000 PEOPLE who viewed her site.  She was also happy to announce that there were 1,200 offers.

Ok, this is sick.

She descried herself as attractive, fit, and healthy, and said she had never been in a sexual realtionship.   She was not clear on how she would prove her “claims”.

It cost $1.56 BILLION to run the University of Georgia last year. It’s a big school, but things might be out of control.

Seems that college has become about cash. 

And getting in has become about prostitution.

Homeschooling looks better everyday!

 We all have them, and we all do it, and we probably shouldn’t, but it’s human nature.

Looking up to some one else.

Guidance, style, attitude, work ethic, we get those from people we respect, and sometimes, as it should be, people we love.

My Dad and my brother, Charlie are two of my heroes.

Neither has let me down.

But, we have others out there.

National Heroes, personal heroes, people we admire and respect.

They’re all human, every man has the capability to falter, fall, and fail.

We can’t let it get to us.

And we can’t pick the wrong heroes.

I admired Jonnny Bench, I respected Pete Rose (and I still think he belongs in the Hall of Fame – so Selig, get over it!), but they both let me down.

Johnny said, “I want a whore in the bedroom and a maid in the kitchen.” Great take on what he wanted for a wife!

Pete, well, we all know what Pete did.

There are others.

We’re supposed to respect the person in the White House, the Mayor, the Principal, the Pastor.

But, again, they are all human.

They all CAN fail, even if they never do, or never get caught.

Charles Lindbergh, the first man to make a TransAtlantic flight, testified before the US Congress and recommended that the United State netotiate a neutrality pact with Hitler!

Thomas Jefferson, or his offspring (no one knows for sure) may have fathered a child or children by a slave.

Henry Ford gave us the assembly line, got America moving, and created an industry.  But he was a rabid Anti-Semite who funded horrific publications.

Ben Franklin never married his life long companion, and had a son with her.

Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant, Bill Clinton, Jimmy Swaggart, Richard Nixon.

Naughty, naughty, naughty!

and on and on and on.

The question arises, “Are we picking the right people?”

Probably not.

John Glenn was my hero when I was a child.  I was crazy for the space program, and still feel that it is the second most important “thing” of the 20th century.  (The Interstate Highway System is the first.)

But John Glenn got into politics. compromised, made deals, and I was dissappointed.

It wasn’t John Glenn’s fault, it was mine.

Look close by for your heroes, and never put too much faith in a man.

 It’s a know fact that women live longer than men.

Why you ask?

We’ve always been lead to believe that women are harder to live with, and men just die to get out of it.

And for years men have claimed that they work harder, worry more, and die younger because of it.

Maybe not so true.

A new study by the Japanese, recently published in Human Reproduction, a magazine I’m sure you all have on the coffee table, claims genes in sperm may be the determining factor in why women live longer than men.

Tomohiro Kono, a professor at Tokyo University and Saga University’s Manabu Kawahara discoverd that female mice produced from ‘genetic material’ from two mothers, but not from a father, lived a longer life (significantly) than the mice with the normal mix of “mom and pop” genes.

Oh Crap, Johnny really does have two mommies!

The “bi-maternal” mice came about when the two aforementioned scientists, who obviously have a God Complex and too much time on their hands, manipulated the DNA in mouse eggs.  All this manipulation made the genes go a little crazy, and they behaved like sperm. 

Go figure!  Killer sperm!

Once Tomo and Manny figured out how to do this, (and they aren’t telling anyone how they did it) the pseudo-sperm or “material” was implanted into unfertilized female mice eggs to create embryos. 

Again, they ain’t sayin’ how.

The “bi-maternal” mice lived 186 days longer than the “mom and pop” mice.

Now, I realize this is sounding more and more like a Japanese Horror Movie script, but really, this is some scary science here.

Researchers believe the real difference could be the fault of a gene called Rasgrf1. 

Discovered while the University Boys were enjoying a Bob Marley CD and smoking a bowl of Ganja, Rasgrf1 is located on the number nine Chromsome.   Rasgrf1 is associated with “post-natal” growth and normally “expresses”(whatever the heck that’s supposed to mean)  from the paternally inherited chromosome. 

So, to translate, Daddy’s genes are killin’ me!

According to one theory, males have bigger bodies in order to win out in the race for breeding opportunities (cruising singles’ bars) and thus “scatter their genes”.

Or,  ”Sewing thier wild oats.”

What’s the price for said spreading/sewing?

Well, other than penicillin, most likely a shorter lifespan.

Females, the object of man’s desire or prey, do not have to enter this beauty pagent, and thus save up thier reproductive output to do silly things like, deliver babies (labor), nurture babies (breast feeding), and hunt for food (shopping) , as well as avoiding preadators (bullies, short tempered dads, obnoxious little league moms, slutty teenage girls, etc.), thus allowing them to live longer…although I still don’t know how.  Those little league moms can be hell on wheels!

So, guys, if the fact that your wife is probably going to outlive you, which is in and of itself a little depressing, isn’t bad enough, the fact that it’s not her fault just ices the cake.

You might want to give your dad a call today, you know, to thank him for the sperm gene, the one that’s killin’ ya!