Leave it to a bunch of asswipe researchers and lawmakers to screw that UP.

This is my evening rant for February 1, 2012…and boy am I pissed!

Sugar should be considered a toxin and regulated like tobacco and alcohol…AND TAXED!  This according to researchers in California.

One key word:  TAXED.

This is just another way to steal from the people who keep this country going.

Moderation is the key to just about every thing, (strychnine being one thing that is not included) but using the reckless behavior of over eaters and over sugarers to garner more cash for 536 people in Washington to waste is not the answer.

If sugar is a toxin, you just might have to buy your Coca Colas at the liquor store, and they will cost more.

You can’t bake correctly without sugar…oh, yes, I know there are sugar free diets and cook books for cakes, candies, and such…but they all taste like crap.

Wake UP people.  This is not about health.  This is about stealing more of your money for worthless, egotistical, holier than thou politicians to spend on programs that will continue to get them elected.

The second key word:  TOTALITARIANISM.

These are people who think they know what’s better for YOUR life than you do, and want to control YOUR behavior by pricing things THEY don’t like off the market.

Well, they can all kiss my sweet ass!

Here is one article:    http://news.yahoo.com/sugar-regulated-toxin-researchers-180605186.html

Here is another one:  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-16822533

The second article compares sugar banning and taxing to condoms, smoke free restaurants, and designated drivers.

Frankly, I think they are all suffering from low blood-sugar, and need a freakin’ mint!

Saturday evening when the Patriots-Broncos game became just too much to bear, I switched the channel to the Miss America Pageant.

I like pageants, Miss America, Miss Universe, and especially Miss USA.

Kim Seelbrede after all, a Germantown girl, was a Miss USA back in the day.

It got me hooked.

But, sadly, I flipped the switch just as Kris Jenner asked her question of a contestant.

Earlier in the show, when asked what she thought the winner should have, Kris replied, “Somebody that’s really got confidence, who’s passionate, who has worked really hard.  These girls are applying for a job.  I think somebody who’s got an amazing work ethic really impresses me, too.”

The Kardashian Mom’s question, and I’m not quoting here, was something along the line of  ”…Tim Tebow gets a lot of flack for Tebowing and professing his faith.  Do you think it’s right for celebrities use their power and position to promote their platform of faith?

I was appalled at the gall of that broad!

The real question is, “…is it right for the beautiful one, the pretty one, and the other one to use their positions of power to promote their platform of promiscuity, materialism, and shallowness?”

But then, that question will never come UP, will it?

Katy Perry’s parents have decided that Tim Tebow is just the guy for their pop star daughter!

Oh, HELL no!

The not even rid of Russell Brand completely yet singer who kissed a girl and liked it is the object of an arranged meeting between the Denver Bronco QB and herself by her less than realistic mom and dad.

Again, Oh, HELL no!

They are trying to set UP the meeting at their  - you guessed it – California Church!

According to a source at OK Ragazine, Katy as “mentioned on more than one occasion how much she likes Tim.”

She thinks he’s charming, intelligent, and good looking.

Who doesn’t?

And above all else, he’s a good Christian…er, I hate to point this out again, but she’s married to RUSSELL BRAND!

BTW, rumor has it that she’s leaving him because she doesn’t want her kids to go through an awkward stage like their dad did.

Yes, that’s our Little Russell years ago.

Or maybe she’s leaving him because she thinks her future might turn out like this…

But, I digress once again.

Keith and Mary Hudson are ministers of the ‘evangelical’ variety…which I might add, is a misunderstood term, and viewed as a larger umbrella than it really is.  The Bowster is a Baptist…which the last time I checked was both Christian and Evangelical…really Evangelical.

ABC News requested a comment from Tim, and were immediately blown off ignored.  Ms. Perry’s spawners were contacted, but didn’t comment.  They said something earlier in the week about the marital rift being a motivator for church attendance recently, but how the heck would they know?

This is just about the worst match since John and Yoko, Frank and Ava, Elizabeth Taylor and Larry Fortensky, Mike Tyson and ANYONE!

And besides all that, we all know Tim’s just waiting for the right moment to ask this girl out…

Seriously, Tim, get with the program!  Shoot me an email…I’ll set it UP!

Sydney Spies, a Colorado Senior High School student is all UPset because those popular kids on the yearbook staff think her senior picture is too sexy for publication.

Yearbook pictures have changed since I graduated in 1970.

And, I wasn’t too sexy for anything…but, that’s a whole ‘nother Springer Show.

The Colorado Coed and her mother are all UP in arms about this, and are threatening legal action.

The popular kids on the yearbook staff are riled because their yearbooks have been award winners – I didn’t know there were awards for yearbooks – in the past, and they want to keep UP the tradition and not do anything to lower their standards.

Sydney, her mother, Miki (shocker) and a handful of high school students staged a protest because Sydney was “being denied her freedom of expression.”

The school officials say the outfit violates dress code, well – let’s hope so!

Here’s a tip, Sydney.  Your grandchildren are going to look at that yearbook and say, “Wow, Granny dressed like a ho!”

So, let it go.  Move on.  Hit the mall, and buy a top…a whole top!

So a guy wants to pray on the sidelines, big deal.

Did anyone care if Ali prayed before a fight?  He did, BTW.

How about every boxer from South America who crosses themselves before beating the crap out of their opponents?

And there are many other football players who point to heaven or cross themselves when they make a touchdown.

And what about other public prayers?

No one disses the Pope when he blesses the masses in front of St. Peter’s.

And Billy Graham, he prays in public.

All those Ayatollahs all over the world?  That seems to be OK.

People in Congress pray – and shouldn’t we all be doing so simply because of them?

I thank The Lord for my food in restaurants. I whisper a quick quiet prayer,  It’s not like it’s a big scene.

So, when I hear the fuss about Tim Tebow seeking God’s guidance during a game, really, it’s not all that big a deal.  Frankly, I doubt that God watches football, something tells me He’s a tad occupied UP there making sure we don’t blow the place UP.

And which is worse, a decent Tim Tebow who prays before, during, and after a game, or these guys:

Billy Cannon’s doing five years for counterfeiting.  I thought they made a bunch of cash!

Ray Carruth, 24 years for conspiracy to commit murder.

Darryl Henley is doing 41  years for drug trafficking and conspiracy to commit murder.

Cecil Collins, burglary, 15 years.

I could go on.

Oh, heck, I will…

Hiroshi Ogawa, a baseball player, life for murder.

Pete Rose.

And those are just a few base ballers.

And don’t get me started on Basketball.  I don’t think WordPress could hold a post on the NBA!

He’s a seemingly decent guy with a clean reputation.  When did that become wrong?  So, let Timmy pray.  And the last time I checked, free exercise of religion was still on the books!

I think we could all do a little prayin’ these days!

It could be worse.

The Fat Rascals hit the gym bright and early this year.  All that Fruitcake and those Christmas Cookies have taken their toll on the midriffs of the masses.

They clogged the arteries of the gym from the opening bell to the time I got there.

I applaud anyone who makes an effort to get in shape, lose weight, and who resolves to get healthier, but this is off the chain.

And frankly, since it’s all about me, do ME a favor, and give UP earlier this year.  You know you’re not going to last past  Single Awareness Day Valentine’s Day, so quit now, get out of my way.

Oh, I know the plan.  Work out, get reasonably better looking, lose a few pounds, find a Valentine’s Day date, get laid, and the quit the gym.

Seriously, quit now!

Move it!  I have a schedule!

I’m sure you’re just as lovable as a Fat Rascal as a slightly less fat one.

Only 52 more to go.  Yeah, that’s right, there are 53 Mondays this year, and it’s an election year, and a leap year…

…hang in there, we just might make it!

Hope your first Monday of the new year is a good one.

This year, not so much.

I’ve been told I’m wordy.

When has something like that stopped me?

First of all, we didn’t go to Heaven in 2011 like the preacher out west said we would.

Valentine’s Day month rolled around and I posted about famous love affairs.  I was moved and surprised by the reaction of my fans, groupies, followers reader.

I did not get the cake plate for Valentine’s Day.

Charlie Sheen screwed UP his career, ruined the best show on TV, and pretty much made an ass of himself.

The Middle East blew UP.  Shocker!!  There was an Arab Spring around the world.

The Christian world celebrated Easter.  I got chocolate, but no cake plate.

I celebrated my birthday in June, the Summer was headache full…

…and cake plate free.

Kim Kardashian ripped off Kris Humphries and the viewing public by staging a marriage that she planned not to knew wouldn’t last.

She did not get the cake plate either,

and I’m not sure she received my “bath room bowl brush set” from K-Mart.  No thank you card yet.

Raised by wolves?

We finally got bin Laden, the Libyans finally got Khadaffi, and Egypt got rid of Mubarak.

Bill Maher made an ass of himself, pissed millions off, and was just mean in general.

We left Iraq.

We’re still in Afghanistan.

We’re still at Gitmo.

Following in Regis’ footsteps, Barney Frank announced his retirement.

There were some major break UPs last year, Demi and Ashton called it quits.  Hef’s 23 year old fiance dumped him…we were all so shocked.  Really, it just came out of no where.

And Elizabeth Taylor died, as did many other famous people, but really, Elizabeth Taylor died.

Christmas came, it was great, but another gift-giving opportunity missed…NO CAKE PLATE!

There was no world peace.

As years go, not the best, but not the worst.

But, hey, we have all that 2012 Mayan joy to look forward to!

I hope 2012 is better.

Boo hiss!!

I promise I’ll be pithy tomorrow!

Boy have I learned a lot!

I get spammed early and often.

All I have to do is mention Saudi Arabia, Burka, and Sarah Palin, and the proverbial shinola hits the fan!

I really don’t get that many comments from folks, there are a lot of lurkers out there, and I appreciate every one I get.  But, the spammers are totally pissing me off.

The ugg boot people, make me go UGG!  In the last three days, I’ve received over 150 spam comments from people trying to link my readers to UGG providers.

They are UGGLY, no, they are FUGGLY!

And honestly, if I bought as much viagra as they try to sell me, no one would be safe!

And I really don’t need make UP, vitamins, or fitness equipment.

I don’t have a pay-pal account, so I’m quite sure the ones from the ACH folks telling me my pay-pal has been rejected are spam, and probably virus city, so they get deleted pronto.

But recently, one really caught my eye.

It said:  ”Dear Sirs, The Better Business Bureau has received the above mentioned complaint from one of your associates concerning their business relations with you.

The details of the consumer’s concern are contained in enclosed document.
Please examine this issue and advise us of your point of view.
Please “here” to answer this complaint.

We look forward to your urgent attention to this matter.

Sincerely,
Roland Dani
Better Business Bureau”

I did not click “here”.

Immediately following that one, came this one:  ”Dear Sirs, The Better Business Bureau has got the above mentioned complaint from one of your clients on the subject of their dealings with you.

The detailed information about the consumer’s concern is explained in enclosed document.
Please examine this question and inform us about your standpoint.
We kindly ask you to click here to answer this complaint.

We look forward to your prompt attention to this matter.

Faithfully yours,
Stacie Nieves
Better Business Bureau”

And these people have the nerve to use the real address for the BBB in their emails!

First of all, I don’t know Stacie nor do I know Roland.  And, frankly, I don’t think I want to.

Secondly, there is only one SIR at Redneck Latte Ravings, ME!  I am an army staff of one.

Thirdly, if there are no other employees here at the Ravings, who is this ‘associate’ that’s doing the complaining.  Just a note, associate in today’s business lingo is really “employee”.

As to clients, Stacie, I don’t have any.  I have no services to offer, nothing to sell, and I for darn tootin’ don’t get anything free, so just exactly of whom do you speak?  And, another thing, “has got”?  Really, Stacie, Emily would just crap over that one!

I think I said it best on twitter when I simply said, “Death to spammers!”

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