Can you tell I’ve got a kid in college?

I really wanted to call this “Sallie Mae’s A Bigger Whore Than Ann Arbor”, but I thought it might scare people away.  Especially the two readers I have in Michigan…so.

Yahoo recently reported the story of Michelle Bisutti.  Michelle is a 41 year old MD who is a family practitioner in Columbus (Go Bucks!) Ohio.

She finished med school $250,000 in debt.

That’s bad enough.

Seven years later, it’s  $555,000.

“Why?”, you ask.

She deferred her loan payments during her residency. 

If one defers loan payments there are default charges and compounding interest rates. 

One of the charges was a whopping $53,870 fee for turning her loans over to a collection agency!

Really, maybe I’m in the wrong business.

Dr. Bisutti admits, “Maybe half of it was my fault because I didn’t look at the fine print.”   She adds, ”But this is just outrageous now.”

Outrageous doesn’t cover it.  It’s usury.  And frankly, I thought that was illegal, must be wrong, it’s just immoral.

Tuition is on the rise.  The state of Georgia announced that it would take a 77% increase at all Georgia State Universities to cover the short fall for next year.  That’s $4,500.00 MORE each year just to be a DAWG!  Yes, I know it’s worth it because the only thing better than being a DAWG is being a Buckeye, but really 77%?  C’mon!

And people think nothing of college loans.  After all it’s “necessary debt”, “college is important”, “How can you put a price on an education?”, and all that.  Well, colleges everyday put a price on an education…and it’s not cheap.

Getting out of student loans is near to impossible. 

File bankruptcy, everything else may go away, (including your credit and ability to buy things) but Sallie Mae’s at the door  slathering  on new lipstick, waiting for her pay off.

The ‘boy’ is in Nashville at a Tech School, NADC.  He will come out with about $40,000 in debt.   It’s a 15 month program.  All during the course of the program, the family loans kick in when the school needs more cash.  And Sallie doesn’t call to tell you.  She sends a note. 

When her emails aren’t answered, (because the password to get in won’t work) she starts calling.  EVERYWHERE.

We’re not close.

And family loan payments kick in BEFORE your student graduates.  Unlike the loans the student gets, there is no deferrment. 

Really, I hate her.

We have a plan.  His and our debt will be erradicated pronto!

As to Dr. B.  She has renegotiated her debt.  She only has to make 351 more payments of $900.00  per month.

She’ll be able to celebrate her student loan payoff just after her 70th birthday.

Maybe not.

I know we expect too much of our ‘heroes’, but really…win a bronze medal and simulate sex in public?  No.

Scotty Logo’s street behavior after his Bronze Medal winning half-pipe run was an embarrassment to him, the stuffed shirts at the IOC, and the the American public, to say nothing of the girl, who’s gonna’ have a hard time explaining that picture to the grandchildren in 20 years.

Joe Francis made millions with GGW videos, but BGW – I don’t think we’re ready.  Ok, so it’s a double standard.  But the trampelettes on Joe’s videos aren’t Olympic Medalists.  They’re drunken college coeds with too much money, too much time, and not enough inhibitions.

I don’t mean to be all moral and pontificatious, but we all know what was implied. 

Half-pipe and most snowboarding events are little more than skate ratting on snow.  I love the sport, I’m not impressed with the mentallity and the attitude.

It’s bad enough that Shaun White and his coach can’t say two sentences without the “F” word and can’t remember that every word they say is being recoreded, and it’s bad enough that Shaun White and Scotty acted like fools during the National Anthem while on the medal platform – (just a reminder to anyone else winning a medal for the US:   hand over heart, learn the words, I know it’s hard to sing and musically bad, but it’s OUR national anthem, SING IT!), but really, Scotty and the girl…is that necessary?

And  Scotty, millions of kids are watching you, and you do have a responsibility to behave decently in public.  You may want to Text Tiger for details.

So behave.

Oh, yes, good job on the ABS, BTW!

…to see if Hell has frozen over!

I actually agree with Jay-z!

Jay-Z doesn’t like the new version of “We Are The World”, and neither do I.

As a matter of fact, Jay-Z said it shouldn’t have been remade.  Again, I concur.

The first version, no matter what anyone thinks of it was an iconic classic filled with great singing by great singers.  It was a novel idea at the time…Farm Aid aside…thank you Willie!

Mr. Beyonce told MTV News Saturday night at the 2 Kings Dinner in Dallas, “I know everybody is gonna take this wrong: ‘We Are the World,’ I love it, and I understand the point and think it’s great. But I think ‘We Are the World’ is like Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ to me. I don’t ever wanna see it touched.”

Not only did he marry well, he’s very wise indeed. 

The Original, was great, included such greats as Dianna Ross, Dionne Warwick, Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan, Tina Turner, Kim Carnes, Huey Lewis, and my all time fave, stuck over in the corner next to LaToya, Bette Midler!

The new one has a rap section, and features a bunch of thugs and criminals including Justin Beiber and Barbra Streisand.

And you know, you can’t spell crap without rap!

The producers decided this time around to remove the only Biblical reference, you know, the one about “turning stones to bread”.

I don’t mean to be insensitive or unkind…wait for it…but how in the name of Lindsay Lohan did Wyclef Jean get a recording contract?  And wasn’t it nice of Lil Wayne to take time out of his dental appointments and court dates to pop in for a solo?

And the nerve of Celine Dion doing the Cindy Lauper part!  Really…take that whiny dog whistle of a voice back to Montreal!

Frankly, if it weren’t for Jennifer Hudson and Pink…it would be worthless.

What did Jay-Z want to do?

He says they should have made a new song.  Says the Jayster, “I think it’s time for us to make a new song.  I tried to do that with ‘Stranded,’ (the song he, Rihanna, Bono, and the Edge premiered at the “hope for Haiti Now” telethon.  He added “I didn’t try to make ‘We Are the World,’ but I tried to make our take on how we felt.”

Jay-Z’s right, the orignial was a classic, it should have been left to stand, and it’s not just because Jay-Z wasn’t there.

Take it from someone who knows.  Bullies are a pain in the butt.

I was a small child, wore todler clothes to the first grade, and I weighed in at 37 pounds, I was six years old.

A walking target.

Well, researchers have found that kids who get bullied and snubbed by peers are probably gonna’ have problems in other parts of their lives as well.

No kiddin?

Supposedly, there are at least three factors in a child’s behavior that can lead to social rejection.  (Social rejection, now isn’t that a pretty phrase for bullied?)

The causes are, according to researchers:

1. Reading nonverbal cues.
2. Understanding their social meaning
3. Thinking of options to resolve social conflicts.

Those who are supposed to know say that 10 to 13 percent of children “experience some sort of social rejection”.   I’m not so sure where they got these numbers, but I’m guessin’ it’s a tad higher.  Everyone is rejected socially at one point or another.  But, not everyone is bullied.

They also tell us in this report that being bullied can result in mental health problems, can increase the polibility that a child will get poor grades, drop out of school, or develop substance abuse problems.   Clark McKown of the Rush Neurobehavioral Center in Chicago says, “It really is an under-addressed public health issue.”

Another ‘expert’ says what a kid learns on the playground could show up in later life.  He claims that when children interact without the guidance of an authority figure,  is when children experiment with the relationship styles they will have as adults.

Ok, who’s leaving their kids alone?  I’m sorry, I can’t even fake surprise on that one.

It all stems from the fact that the number one need of any person is to be liked by other people.  Well duh!

We all want to be liked, but we’re not all gonna’ like everybody. 

After a boat load of studies, and a truck load of money, they claim to have found a few things.

1. Kids don’t see clues.
2. Kids don’t understand clues.
3. Kids don’t know how to react to clues.

They even have a book now that they are recommending.  “It’s So Much Work to Be Your Friend: Helping the Child with Learning Disabilities Find Social Success” (Touchstone, 2006).  I’m sure it’s just an awesome read!  And they claim it works for kids who don’t have disabilites as well. 

These experts have a “process”, and it’s all geared to the bullied, not the bully.

To teach social skills, Lavoie advises a five-step approach in his book.  He claims the process works for children with or without learning disabilities and is best conducted immediately after a transgression has been made.  (Transgression being made by the bullied!!!!)

1) Ask the child what happened and listen without judgment.

2) Ask the child to identify their mistake. (Often children only know that someone got upset, but don’t understand their own role in the outcome.)

3) Help the child identify the cue they missed or mistake they made, by asking something like: “How would you feel if Emma was hogging the tire swing?” Instead of lecturing with the word “should,” offer options the child “could” have taken in the moment, such as: “You could have asked Emma to join you or told her you would give her the swing after your turn.”

4) Create an imaginary but similar scenario where the child can make the right choice. For example, you could say, “If you were playing with a shovel in the sand box and Aiden wanted to use it, what would you do?”

5) Lastly, give the child “social homework” by asking him to practice this new skill, saying: “Now that you know the importance of sharing, I want to hear about something you share tomorrow.”

I for one, think this is a bunch of crap. 

The only thing they got right is listen to the child without judgement.  Now, there’s a parenting tip I can live with.

As to asking the child to identify their mistake: being smaller, stranger, or just different isn’t a mistake.  Ask the bully why he’s a jerk.

I don’t think the kid missed anything other than the opportunity to get the heck out of there before “Felon of the Future” jumped him.  And maybe Emma’s just a big, mean, hateful, future skank!  And maybe he’s just a little wuss!

I think kids have enough imaginary scenarios as it is.  Are mommy and daddy gonna stay together;  am I gonna’ get to the bus without gettin’ my ass kicked?; is the sadistic gym teacher gonna’ make me stand out front in dodge ball?  (OK, I’m not over a few things.)

Social homework? You can’t get most kids to do the homework from school.   Teach the kid to fight, tell him to kick the bully’s ass or die tryin’!

Other kids not liking a child is not the end of the world. Surprising as it is, there are people out there who don’t like me!   But it has nothing to do with bullying.   The kid may have gotten a swirlie because the bigger boys didn’t like him, or as I said before, he may just be a big wuss.  But that doesn’t make it his fault.  The bigger boys are at fault here. 

Apparently that “do unto others” crap was lost in translation.

Maybe I was a little dweeb and pantywaist, but that sure as heck didn’t make it right for El Kabong (a girl in the 3rd grade) to kick my ass everyday on the playground.  Thank God that tramp moved that summer!

And maybe Courtney has blue hair, wears fishnet stockings, and anarchy gloves, but I don’t remember a law being passed saying we should fail her, rail at her, or flog her.

Bullies are bullies.  Bullies need to be stopped. 

Just because the kid next to you in class is weird or just because you can, doesn’t mean you should take his lunch money. 

Sadly, there are bullies in all walks of life.  Middle School, High School, College and the workplace are all just extensions of Elementary School.  Generally, once a bully, always a bully.  And conversely, one would think once bullied, always bullied. 

Ah, not so.

There’s a way out.

So, to everyone of you who’s been beat UP, stuffed in a locker, dragged into the girls room, had toothpaste put in your hair at camp while sleeping, or had someone take your dessert at lunch, I say this:

Shut UP, Stand UP, get mad as hell and don’t take it anymore.