Archive for the ‘ Husbandry ’ Category

Unlisted

Recently I’ve noticed (and blocked) list after list of men things.

Things Men Shouldn’t Do After 30.

Things Guys Shouldn’t Do In Public.

10 Things Men Should Never Do In A Relationship.

And my favorite, Guys, If You Want A Date Ditch These Fashion Fails. The offenses ranged from socks with sandals ,

which I do not do, to cargo shorts, which #guilty!

The writer bemoaned men wearing flip flops or sandals because “…your feet are gross and no one wants to see you hairy toes and ragged toe-nails.”

Hey, send that man to the nail salon!   I’m a firm believer that there isn’t a man in the world that wouldn’t benefit from a pedicure.

#confession  #guiltypleasure

It’s coming from all directions, even John Tesh has one!!

Frankly, the last good thing John Tesh did was the Sax By The Fire CD.

The suggestions range from common sense things that any man should know like “don’t blow your nose at the dinner table” to “never let your wife/significant other see you go poop!

There was a post on Manspreading and Mansplaining.

Those two things are necessary for the survival of the species.

GET.A.GRIP!

Y’all, you can tell us what not to do all day long, but most men aren’t paying attention.

After all, we’re too busy channel surfing and hogging the remote.

Oh, yeah, that was another one…don’t hog the remote.

Don’t make me go there!

I don’t see much change on the horizon, other than I’ve blocked everything from John Tesh!

An Ideal Wife…

“An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.”

Booth Tarkington.

Tarkington on time

Today’s his birthday, he was born in 1869.  One of three American men to win the Pulitzer Prize twice, he seems to have been a pretty sharp guy.

After all, it takes two!

Have a great weekend.

 

The Royal Sister

Today is the birthday of Anne of Cleves.  She was the 4th wife of Henry VIII of England.

It’s not the happiest of stories, but in light of things, it could have been much worse!

There is no accurate likeness of her, only this painting by Holbein, who nearly lost his life when the real thing showed UP and Henry realized he’d been had.

Anne of Cleves

After the death of Jane Seymour, Henry decided to go royal when it came to a bride and contracted to marry Anne of Cleves sight unseen.

She was butt ugly, and upon seeing her, Henry said “…she please me not…”

He married her anyway.  Really, who wanted to go to war with half of Europe over a bride?

After their wedding night, Henry told Thomas Cranmer, his trusted adviser, “…I liked her before not well , but now I like her much worse.”.

Henry wanted to have the match-maker responsible for this mistake killed, but after checking the law books, there were none found prohibiting “hook-UPs with ugly chicks.”

So, Henry kept looking, and found other charges to pin on his friend and co-conspirator, Cromwell.  Cromwell eventually met an horrific end on the block.

Anne, realizing her days as queen were numbered, and being no one’s fool, agreed to an annulment.

Henry gave her plenty of cash, a royal estate, and she preceded all women at court except Henry’s new Queen/

She was referred to as “the royal sister.”

She out lived the old coot by ten years.

She lacked for nothing.

She never went back to Cleves

For What It’s Worth…

…George Clooney is off the market ladies.  I know a few of you are heart broken.

Yep, the hunky Hollywood “most eligible” bachelor tied the knot this week with Amal Alamuddin.

It was a simple affair.

It only cost $13 million.

Kim and Kanye were ashamed of their Hollywood pals for keeping it on the cheap!

Clooney People

It put me in mind of our wedding, 37 years ago yesterday.

We did not spend $13 million.

But it was a pretty big do.

Wedding Picture

The dress didn’t cost a hundred grand, the diamond wasn’t 4 carats, the tux was a rental, and the venue was free.

Daddy was the preacher, so hey, who’s gonna’ charge his son to use the church?

KWIM?

The Clooney’s had about 150  guests at the wedding. We had over 600.  Dad said if he’d known there would be more people at our wedding than there were at church the next morning, he’d have “…cut loose and preached…”.

And I’m sure he would have!

Adjusted for inflation, the $4 to 6 grand my father-in-law spent in 1977 would be about $30,000 today.

That’s still a lot of money, but $13 million?

How?

On what?

Why?

The dress was just as nice.

The bridesmaids were just as gussied UP.

The Wedding Party Just as Gussied UP

And the groomsmen looked just as dapper in their rented tuxes.

The Flower Girl and Ring Bearer were just as cute.

Amy and Jared

And the cake and food were AWESOME.

The Cake

But, it didn’t cost $13 million.

I got to wondering, “What else could one spend $13 million on?”

$13 million would cover my health insurance for the next 1805 years.

I probably won’t live that long.

Or you could pay for the Bentonville, Arkansas highway extension.

You know, so the Waltons can get home faster.

You could build a high school.

Buy a Picasso.

Or, you could could buy 1 million four hundred thousand people breakfast at the Waffle House.

A wedding at the court house costs less than a hundred bucks, ours cost about 8 grand, the Clooney’s cost $13 million.

Either way, we were just as married.

Just as Married

It’s not what you spend, it’s who you spend it with.