…It’s funny how song titles come to my mind when something happens. Some are easy, some a stretch, but this one was a snap.
A friend of mine, another “writer” – please let me keep that delusion – recently went through a “break- up”.
It was the modern way – the Taylor Swift got dumped by the Jonas Brother way – the 21st Century way…
…it was a text message.
I’m assuming it went something like this
Plz dnt evr cl me agn.
Scrw U itz ovr.
Or something like that.
And of course the classic Neil Sedaka/Howard Greenfield song came to mind.
The song was ‘covered’ by more than 30 artists ranging from Alvin and The Chipmunks to Gloria Estefan to the Carpenters.
Sedaka’s version spent two weeks at number 1 back in 1962.
But, I suppose breaking UP is hard to do.
So, just in case you’re in the mood to dump some one, here are a few ways or places that I would personally find distasteful.
10 – While your vacationing together. Or on your honeymoon. Really, such bad taste and all. But in reality, it happens. I knew a girl in Florida, a client, whose husband went out for a pack of cigarettes and hopped a plane and flew home. She told me once that, “It kinda ruined the trip.” Ya think!
9 – On Facebook. Seriously folks, changing your relationship status from “in a relationship” to “single” is just bad form.
8 – While at a family function. Bobby’s birthday balloons barely begin to breakdown, and there you go. Dumping your Mom’s future daughter-in-law. Way to ruin my party creepo!
7 – At someone else’s wedding – or at your own for that matter – Leaning your head close to your boyfriend and whispering “That won’t be us.” is really a bad idea. After all, it’s their day, don’t you think you can move away from your sorry self-absorbed saga long enough for them to have their moment in the sun?
6 – At a location that’s special to the two of you. Dump the girl and get a good meal isn’t all that great an idea. Don’t take her to the first place you took her on a date and make it the last. Be a man, pick somewhere new. I’d stay away from a steak house, you know, knives and all.
5 – In bed. Really guys, just too tacky for words here. You know that dream where you’re naked in front of an audience. Well, you just might be when she heaves your sorry butt out the door while you’re wearing nothing but a smile! Think before you speak.
4 – February 14. Valentine’s Day is for lovers, not ex-lovers or soon to be ex-lovers. Again, fancy restaurant, steak knives, flambe and all that. Could get messy. I’d stay away from Christmas too, well, at least until you’ve opened the presents.
3 – The No Action Required Plan – Don’t just do ‘nothing’. If you stop calling, she might think you’re dead, and when she reaches you, you might just be! Ignoring a relationship, even one that needs to end is a bad idea. Man UP and say something. Don’t just sit there.
2 – Finding someone new. Check with Tiger on this one. Before you start dating someone new, clear the air with the old flame. Letting your significant other see you at the movies with your new love interest could get messy. That buttered popcorn can hurt if thrown at the right angle and velocity!
And Number 1 – Text message. It’s the 21s Century equivalent of the post it note! The personal touch just makes things so much nicer. Be a grown-UP, do it in person…leave the car runnin’ you may need a quick getaway!
Or, you could just sing it!
Come a come a down dooby do down down…really, that’ll get the point across!