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We’re talking about Figure Skaters here.

Recently, on FB, the father of a friend said “All those sequins on men, it’s just creepy!”

Well, I don’t wear them often, but if I could lift a woman over my head by one hand while skating on one foot, I don’t think I’d take any crap about it if I did.

I’m amazed at the ‘athleticism’ of the figure skaters – both men and women.


The lifts, the jumps, the staying UP!


Wow, how do they do it.

I remember when I went to Ohio State, (gosh, what a week that was!), I was “set-UP” on a date with a girl named Darlene.

An aside here, Darlene is oddly enough one of my favorite names.  Darlene was on the Mickey Mouse Club when I was a kid, she was cute, and I at four or five years old was “in love with her”.  You guys can have your Annette Funicello, I wanted Darlene!  I had a doll, (GET OVER IT!) that I carried around, and guess what…her name was Darlene.


But, back to the date.  One of my sadistic fraternity brothers decided we should go ice skating.  Back in the day, and it may still happen now, the students could pay 2 or 3 bucks and skate all night at St. Johns Arena.

ME – never been skating.

SHE – channeling Peggy Flemming!

Oh, yes, it was the date from h-e-double hockey sticks!

It’s a tad difficult to hold someone’s hand when you can’t let go of the rail.  It’s a tad difficult to stand UP on ice when you have never had skates on before IN YOUR LIFE!

Now, I could roller skate, and everyone told me there was no difference.

That is, what’s the word I’m lookin’ for?  BULL!

I fell, once or twice, a few times, occasionally, three or four hundred times.

Once when I fell, a Wayne Gretzky wannabe decided it would be fun to skate over my semi-frozen fingers – well there goes 12 years of Piano lessons!

And my frat brother, and “friend” could not stop laughing; his date and mine skated on the other end of the rink.

After about an eternity hour and a half of this misery, Darlene suggested we get something to eat.

Great idea, so off we go to some now forgotten Pizza Place (oh that we’d gone to the Blue Dube, at least I remember that place) for a slice of pie.

That’s when I realized I’d chipped a tooth!

So, dear friend, and Anna and Em’s dad, creepy or not – If you can lift a woman over your head with one hand while skating on one foot, in skin-tight pants in front of 12 judges, 10,000 spectators, and 40 million Televeison viewers…wear your sequins!


You’ll not get any crap from me!!

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