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…That’s not a  typo.

I watched ALL of the American Music Awards Sunday night simply because I wanted to see two things:

ONE – What disgraceful spectacle Adam Lambert would put on,

and

TWO – See Taylor Swift win the top award over Michael Jackson.

I was not disappointed in either one.

But before I get to that, a few thoughts.

The state of American Music is abysmal. 

The very idea of someone with as much talent and class as Alicia Keys dueting with Jay-Z is appalling!

TOO CLASSY FOR JAY-Z

The song was great, he just screwed it up!

Then we had this…

LADY GAG GAG

She isn’t even good looking!  Great body, lots of time with the trainer, but art…I think not!

I am by NO MEANS a prude, but Rhianna’s coutier needs to be caned in the public square!

A BELT OR TWO IS MISSING

  

I didn’t know Fredick’s of Hollywood made clothes for the AMA!

And Whitney!

 

BOBBY DONE MESSED THIS UP

Could Chris Brown please slap Bobby Brown since this is ALL his fault?

And, who told her to wear white?

A refreshing moment came when Kelly Clarkson, still the best, sang a great song and was FULLY CLOTHED!

How did she get in?   Yeah, she’s fat, but who cares?   The girl can still sing!

DON'T WEAR WHITE

Ah, J-Lo!  Ugly shoes, ugly outfit, stupid song about the ugly shoes, and she fell on her aspidistra!

SLIP SLIDIN' AWAY

Some news agencies are saying that she “won’t be invited back next year”.  Why?  Too much fabric!

And what about Shakira’s dry humping ‘dancers”. 

There must have been 200 of them, which means every strip club in LA was closed Sunday night. 

What’s a perv to do?

THEY DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR POLES IN THE BUDGET

Really, you should be grateful this is the best picture I could find!

Didn’t you just love the way all the Country stars looked when someone won something…it was that ‘Where the heck is Loretta?…Deer in the headlights…I’m gonna’ kill that limo driver for dropping me off here…Is that a chick or a dude?…look’.

WHAT THE....

And, I distinctly remember Chris Allen winning Americn Idol last season.

His reward, ooooooh…he was  a presenter…yowzah, what fun, he must have been beside himself with excitement.

PRESENTER...DIDN'T HE WIN AMERICAN IDOL

From the looks of this suit, it would seem that AI has decided the American public was wrong, and Adam Lambert really should have won.  Frankly, I’m a little tired of people telling me what to do, like, vote for, wear, and listen to.  Chris ain’t gettin’ the love from AI that he should…seem’s like AL is AI’s favorite son.

Then there’s the Jackson family…still sucking the cash from a brother they claim to love. 

Germain gets up there and thanks Allah.  I am quite sure they are Jehovah’s Witness, or were at least.  That was all the scare in the 70s and 80s that they would pull the public into the JH religion.  When did Allah become a Jehovah’s Witness?

ALLAH, HE THANKED ALLAH

And when are they going to realize that Janet is the only one left in the family who can sing?

Which brings me, and I appologize for it taking so long to get here,  to my point!

Adam Lambert.  Gay, not Gay, I don’t care.  The boy can sing.  It was an amazing song.  But it was practically pornographic.

Sexual bondage. man on man lip action (thanks Madonna, Britney, and Christina for setting that precedent), and a shocking moment when he shoved someone’s face into his crotch.  It happened so fast I had to tell myself it didn’t, but it did.  And I’m still not sure if it was a girl or a guy. 

 

NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY!

 

EITHER WAY!   NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

And lastly, Taylor…you need to thank not only your fans for covering you up with love this year, and baby, you deserve it ’cause you can sing…

SMART MOVE, LONDON

…you need to thank your management for booking your butt in London during this hot mess!

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