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Today is the official birthday of Alexander the Great, as opposed to Alexander the so-so.

Alexander Fighting The Persian King Darius III

Alexander was born on July 20, 356 BC.  At least that’s what the doctor chisled on the birth certificate.

I mean, afterall, could you rule the world if you didn’t have a birth certificate?

And, Alexander did rule the known world at that time.  With the exception of Afghanistan, which apparently no one can conquer, since the Greeks (Alexander’s army), the Romans, the Persians, the Medes, the British, Russians, and the US at the height of their power couldn’t do it.  He claimed that his empire stretched all the way to the Indus river. 

My guess is that Alexander looked across the border and said, “Who want’s it?  No art, ugly men, ugly women (he liked both), crappy food, too much sand – let’s haul ass back to Greece, we’ll just say we whipped them.”

But, Al was a great warrior, he did unite the world under his empire, and frankly, the world was better for it.

The Greeks were way ahead of most of the world in art, literature, learning, medicine and the like.  Ok, so the Egyptians built better columns and the pyramids, Greece kept it together longer. 

Libraries were founded where ever he went, cause the dude was not only a warrior and lover, (he had three wives and two acknowledged boy-friends) he was a book worm as well.

Alexander was tutored by Aristotle, the most learned man of his time.

The Greek god left home with the goal of bringing more land into the empire than his father, Philip, had.  There was a serious rivalry, and Al just had to best daddy!

And we thought only you gals had Daddy issues!

And conquer the world he did.

But, alas, poor Alexander didn’t make it back the his homeland of Macedonia.  He died at the age of 33, supposedly by his own hand.  Tradition has it that he held his head in his hands and wept because there were no more worlds to conquer.

Therapy anyone?

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