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The Royal Spawn’s not the first Prince George of Cambridge you know.  The naughty side of history is my favorite part, I left this out of my recent George post because A. it was too long already, and B. this George wasn’t a king.

And, since it’s Saturday, and the yard can wait, read on…this guy is just another royal who puts the fun in dysfunctional.

Prince George, 2nd Duke of Cambridge, George William Frederick Charles was born on March 26, 1819 in Hanover, a duchy of Germany, and was a member of the British Royal Family.

The first Prince George of Cambridge

The first Prince George of Cambridge

His grandpa was King George III.

He was a lifelong military man.

His daddy was the 10th child of King George III, and his seventh son.

His mama was a Hessian Princess, Augusta by name.  You may remember the Hessian soldiers were hired thugs during the American Revolution.  They fought for the Brits.

His godfather, King William IV of the UK dragged him to Windsor in hopes of marrying him off to the heir apparent, Victoria.

She’d have none of it!

One of Victoria’s other uncles, also a King, Leopold of Belgium did all he could to thwart the match.

He was team Prince Albert.

William was team Prince George.

Kinda like Twilight without the wolves, vampires, and sex.

William did all he could, made it really obvious, badgered Victoria and her mother about it, but alas, Victoria fell for Prince Albert and the rest, as they say, is history.

But Prince George, The Duke of Cambridge, went on to make a history of his own.  He was a military man who hated war, resisted the direction of the War Office, but won battles anyway.

Highly decorated, he eventually became the ‘general commanding in chief’ of the British Army, commander in chief of the forces, the chief military advisor to the Secretary of State for War, and Field Marshall.

Statue of Prince George ironically placed near the War Department he loved to hate.

Statue of Prince George ironically placed near the War Department he loved to hate.

He eventually ran the outfit he resisted.

He was quite blunt about a match to Victoria, saying that arranged marriages were usually failures.  So he married for ‘love’ ish.

He privately married the daughter of a servant, one Sarah Fairbrother.  Since this was a violation of the Royal Marriages Act of 1772, which stated among other things that English royals couldn’t marry commoners, Catholics, divorcees, and without the permission of the reigning monarch, the blushing bride got no ‘cred’.

Oh, and since it was a crime to perform a marriage between a royal and one of the above, neither did the parson who performed the marriage!

King George III, who was full of himself, came UP with this one.  The Act applied to all descendants of King George II, who was really full of himself!

The new Mrs. Duke of Cambridge had been an actress, performing at Drury Lane, the Lyceum, and Covent Garden Theatre.  She was given no title, never called Her Royal Highness, and was talked about by all the bitchy ‘real’ countesses at court!

And, their son was not allowed to inherit the Dukedom.

The Queen virtually ignored her and every one called her Mrs. Fairbrother or Mrs. FitzGeorge.

ME-OW!

The Duke, who would have been tweeting crotch shots had iphones and Twitter been around, was rather given to temptation when it came to the ladies.  After all, Sarah was preggers with their fifth child when she finally coerced him into marrying her!

While she was keeping the home fires burning, George was out and about, playing the field, knocking them UP right and left, and catching the clap!

Ten years into the marriage, George met Mrs. Louisa Beauclerk – aka the love of his life – and took her as his mistress until her death in 1882.

Mrs. notaduchess was highly pissed when George let it be known to all who could hear that he wanted to be buried next to his mistress rather than his wife.

A compromise was reached and the Duke and NonDuchess were buried in the same mausoleum some 60 feet away from Louisa.

When Prince George died in 1904, he left an estate of 120,000 £ or about $185,000 US, making him a poor relation of the Royals.

His title, Duke of Cambridge, fell into extinction upon his death. Remember, the son wasn’t allowed to inherit since the King didn’t condone the marriage. The title was taken out of moth balls 107 years later, when Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II gave it to Prince William as a wedding gift at his marriage to Catherine Middleton.

Let’s hope the new Prince George of Cambridge does a little better.

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