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Well, the Royal Spawn has a name, George Alexander Louis.


It’s not really a very pretty name, but is a very old name which comes from the Greek word for farmer.  It means earth-worker or farmer.  It was not used in ancient Greece as a name.  Sure, there were Greek kings named George, but they were more modern;  the first one didn’t come to the throne until 1868, and left it abruptly during the Great War.  And, they really weren’t all the Greek, they were German.

The name George is actually very, very German.  It was Georg, you know, like Captain Von Trapp.  And the first English king named George was entirely German.  He was from Hanover, didn’t speak a word of English, came to the throne because the last Stuart Queen, Anne, had no children to live to maturity.  She had 15 children, but all of them died!

The first English George was a major candidate for AOTW.  He locked his errant wife away in Germany, refused to bring her to England and never allowed her to be crowned queen.

King George I

The second George wasn’t much better.

King George II

A family troublemaker from the start, he fought with his father, which was a really bad idea since he was the King, and he fought with his son.

He nearly fought a duel with his cousin, the King of Prussia and almost caused a war between Hanover and Prussia, which would surely have plunged England into the mess!

And he was weird!  UPon his death, he insisted that the sides of his coffin and that of his wife be removed so that their remains could ‘mingle’.  They were buried in Westminster Abbey.

When George II died, his grandson, George III took over.

George III

Probably the most famous King George, he’s the one who lost the colonies, he was considered insane, when in reality he had a physical malady called porphyria which causes abdominal pain, neuropathy, and mental disorders.

He was a good king, the people loved him, he never took a mistress, loved his wife, and fathered 15 children. He did develop dementia and died not knowing that his wife had passed on before him.

His son, King George IV took over when daddy passed on.  Number four wasn’t so great.  He was always in debt, and agreed to an arranged marriage so that George III would pay his bills.  When George III lost his mind, George IV took over as Regent causing havoc and pain for the nation.

King George IV

A lousy king, a rotten son, and an even worse husband, he had mistresses galore, and fathered ‘several’ royal bastards.

He loved the cheap women, actresses, dance hall girls before he assumed the throne, and notoriously wanton Countesses after.

By the time he came to the throne at 57, he was morbidly obese and a drug addict!

When he died in 1830, his only legitimate child having died before him, his brother became William IV, and England was Georgeless for a while.

William IV was an ass, we’ll talk about him some other time.

Of course, William IV had a boat load of bastards, but no legitimate heirs, so his niece became Queen Victoria.

Again, England was Georgeless.

Because the next king was and Edward, another playboy about whom I’ve posted before.

When Edward VII died, his son became King George V.

King George V

An honest, beloved King, George V was the first of the House of Windsor, the ruling family of today.  He and his stalwart wife, Queen Mary, guided Great Britain through WW I and the rebuilding afterwards.  No mistresses, no bastards, no drama, he was a pretty good guy.

A strict father who’s parenting mantra was “I was afraid of my father, and my children will be afraid of me,” he gave us the weak King Edward VIII and the much loved King George VI – you know, the guy from the movie, The King’s Speech.

King George VI

I know, I know, he really doesn’t look all that much like Colin Firth.  Much loved by a nation torn apart by his brother’s abdication, he lead the country through much of the Great Depression and all of WW II.

Of course, he died 61 years ago, and QE II took over.


She gave us Charles, who will possibly someday become King Charles IV,

Prince Charles

although, he could be King George VII, since his name is Charles Philip Arthur George.  And he of course is the father of William,

Prince William

who since he’d be the king could decide to call himself King George the what ever when he takes over, because, he’d be the king.

And the there’s the Royal Spawn; George Alexander Louis, who will more than likely be a king George – which I just realized I’ll never live to see, since William will more than likely outlive me!

There’s no chance of him being King Alexander, too Scottish and too Greek, and he’s for darn sure not going to be King Louis!  Well, not unless France invades England!

So, someday, England will have a George again, and all will be well.

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