We always see Prince William and The Duchess of Cambridge (really people stop calling her Kate Middleton, it’s not proper, correct, and it really pisses the Queen off!) smiling and happy.

Will and Kate

That’s about to change.

The royal spawn is due any day, and I’ve been wondering, as have most of you if you’ll admit it, just what the natural childbirth situation is going to bring,

Our second child, Donovan, was born sans drugs, and quite frankly, it’s burned in my ┬ámind for ever!

Donovan Driving

It makes me wonder, will the proper Duchess call her Prince Charming nasty names? Will there be screaming, yelling, profanity?

And is it treason to call the Heir Presumptive a Son of a B!%@h?

Wonder what the Queen will have to say about that?