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I’m not saying every one should have a common name, and I really can’t say much coming from a family with names like Zola and Alvah.  And I’ll admit my Grandmother’s name was Cenie, and that I had an Uncle Chalmer, and I’ll even go so far to confess that way way back, one of my great greats was named Lefonius.  But, the celebrity baby name game is totally out of hand.

Sure we just chalked it UP to quirkiness when Gwyneth  named her baby Apple, and I totally get the play on words with Kanye’s choice of North West, and I’ll even say that Satchel makes sense, even if Woody Allen did come UP with it.

But, this crap is crazy!

I blame it all on Frank Zappa.  Moon Unit and Dweezil had to be challenges in middle school, even if their dad was super cool!

We have Ivy Blue from Beyonce, Rainbow Aurora from Holly Madison – and BTW, Aurora means Dawn.  What’s wrong with Dawn?  I know plenty of them.

Michael Jackson named his son Prince; I knew a girl who had a horse named Prince.  Ivy’s a plant, and a crappy one at that, it’s invasive, takes over everything, kills trees, heck, they may as well have named her Kudzu!

One celebrity named their kid Baretta.  Really?  With all this gun control flap, Robert Blake getting away with murder, and people shooting UP schools, theaters, and malls, do you really think Baretta’s a great idea?

Sure you may be traumatized because every other kid in your class was named Jenny or Joshua or as back in my day, David or Linda or Donna, but, don’t you think being the only Banjo would be worse?

What’s wrong with Dick and Jane?

Dick and Jane


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