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When we bought casa grande fourteen years ago, it was perfect.

Great yard on a lovely wooded lot.

80 trees on a half acre.  Lots of shade, plants, flowers, bushes…all that stuff.

Garden Path

Big kitchen.

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And the biggest master bath I’d ever seen.  Seriously, it’s 14 by 21 feet.  You never run into anyone in there.

Bath

Now, the kitchen needs a serious UPdate, the yard’s more work that I want or have time for, and the bathroom…well, it’s still great!

And the beautiful shady trees bring critters.  I’ve killed copperheads, fought giant squirrels, chased rabbits from the garden, and now, now, we have bats in the attic.

That’s right, bats, mice, and squirrels.

My exterminator came out for his quarterly check and immediately called the wildlife squad.

The way he was acting, I was expecting news helicopters any minute.

I knew something was going on UP there.  It was driving me  bat$!% crazy.  I could hear things, and frankly, the noises were confusing the voices in my head.

Six weeks and $3500 later, we have new gutters, sealed everything, four trips to check the traps, and forty pounds of bat$!% guano.

That’s right 40 pounds.  That must have been one heck of a bat!

And after it was all over and Tony the exterminator told me he’d hauled forty pounds of  bat$!% poo out of there, well, it got me to thinking about the term  batS$!% crazy.

So, I did me some research.  No one really knows where the term came from.  Bats in the belfry generally means someone is loony, crazy, or off the wheel.

Bats in the attic – the same thing.

But bat$#!% crazy, well, it’s rather new.  The first reference is around 1950, and may have been a variation of bull$#!%.

Hunter S. Thompson used the term in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and is believed to have picked it UP in the US Air Force.  I’m sure they have plenty of bat$#!% crazy people too.

There are plenty of people who are bat$#!% crazy. We see them every day on TV.  Gary Busey, Sarah Palin, Phil Spector, to name a few.

And it could be that the bat$#!% was driving me crazy.

Guano contains a fungus called histoplasma capsulatum.  The fungus can infect the brain of the host, and make them behave in a psychotic manner.

This could explain a few things…all this time I’ve been blaming it on tourettes.

Who knew?

So, now that all the poo is gone, the attic is as fresh as a daisy, and the bats are outta there, things could change.

But I doubt it.

I was bat$#!% crazy long before I moved here!

Batshit CraZY

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