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Or, Who’s Sixty!

The Miss USA pageant and I are both Dragons.  Yup, Miss USA turns the big 60 this year!

Aside from the train wreck we know as “Toddlers and Tiaras”, I really like beauty pageants.

I don’t know why, but they’re just plain fun.

I got hooked on them early, but became a serious fan of the Miss USA pageant in 1981, when Germantown’s Kim Seelbrede won the title.

Then

She was, and remains a beauty.

Now

A small town girl who won Miss Ohio/USA and then went on to win the National Title, she was cheated out of the Miss Universe crown by the bumbling of Bob Barker.

Frankly, I’ll never forgive him.  It just makes me mad enough to wear fur!

Kim is a psychoanalyst in New York City.  You can check out her website at www.kimseelebrede.com .  She has in the past been a judge for subsequent pageants.  But, “The Donald” doesn’t ask her any more.  I suppose he’s too busy with his hair and looking for President Obama’s birth certificate to give her a call.

Really, Donald…she’d be great!

But, back to the pageant.

It started in 1952, in Long Beach, California.  The idea was conceived in 1950 when Yolande Betbeze, Miss America, refused to pose in the required bathing suit for publicity photos.

Catalina, the sponsor decided to dump Miss America and came UP with Miss USA.  The pageants were held the first two years in Long Beach, but have moved around the country from time to time.  This year’s celebration is in Las Vegas, at Planet Hollywood.

It’s a big night for me, right UP there with the Oscars.  And of course I spent the night rooting for my self-defined “home team”:  Miss Ohio,

Miss Ohio

Miss Virginia, (who didn’t even make the top 16…better luck next year!)

Miss Virginia

and Miss Georgia.

Miss Georgia

And of course rooting against Miss Texas, seriously, they’ve won too many times!!  And just because Dallas is coming back doesn’t mean they should get another year to gloat!

If I’m anything, I’m loyal.

The panel of judges was lack luster.  It included Cat Cora, Arsenio Hall,  and Rob Kardashian, among other lesser stars from even smaller galaxies.

The ‘entertainment’ – Cobra Starship – was well, UGH!

I found it interesting that the lead singer of CS – and I’ve not bothered to learn his name – said he might forget the words to his songs tonight with all the beautiful women around.  Really, how does one forget “la, la, la”…and are those really words?

Akon, however rocked the house with great dance music!

The pageant was complete with beauty tips.  Pick your swim wear along the lines of what you wear daily.  You know, if you don’t wear flowered dresses, don’t wear a flowered bikini and if you can stand on your toes and your high heels come UP off the ground an inch, then they aren’t too high.  If you can’t, well, then they are.

I’ll store that away…it seems such useful information!

Trump was there looking all fake tanned and coiffed.  The suit was nice though.

And as the night wore on, my favorites fell by the wayside.  Miss Georgia who is beautiful and answered the question really well, came in as 4th runner UP.

Miss Ohio, sadly, at the 3rd runner UP spot!

The winner, Miss Rhode Island’s answer was the most “now” and “popular”, and the kiddie-pool-shallow judges were swayed by the bitch goddess of Political Correctness.

You know, it’s just not the same since The Donald bought it!   And frankly, Scarlett, I think Miss Georgia should have won!  Rhett does too!

But, I love it anyway.

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