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…like spiders and snakes.

I know, I know, you all think just because I grew UP in a Baptist Church, snake handling would be second nature to me, but really, not the case.  There was no chandelier swinging either!  We were Southern Baptists, and well, they just don’t do that!  Back to my point…

I don’t like spiders and snakes!

AT ALL!

This year is a big year for snakes in Georgia.  We, as Cheryl Boyer Slusser warned us, are paying for the mild winter we had.  The snakes are out early.

And apparently, my yard is the New Club Med for Copperheads.

I’ve killed two already this year.

This one.

The Only Good Snake is a Dead Snake!

This snake was old, lazy, had just eaten, and was sleeping, so sneaking UP on him was not so bad.  I’m pretty handy with the shovel, and whomp, he was severed, and fighting.  But, alas, I won!

There was another one who was more than unwilling to pose for a photograph, and had to be dispatched in pieces.  I’ll spare you.

Yes, I’ve let the yard grow UP a tad in the back, and it’s ‘woodsy’ and there are tall grasses, and the vipers like that kinda stuff.

So, it’s “Party On Wayne” for the reptiles in my back yard.

This does make weeding the garden a tad dicey.

Oh, there are other snakes too.

I have a North American Ribbon Snake.

Ribbon Snake

Equally as revolting as his venomous cousin, (snakes are not poisionous, they are venomous…just use the wrong term in front of any Biology teacher, and you’ll get a two hour lecture about the difference…really, my head was spinning!), he’s harmless, eats bugs, and is a ‘good snake’ to have around.

So, I didn’t kill him.

But, I’m getting off track.

I don’t like spiders and snakes, and when the snake fest began, a the big cheese at the place where I work friend of mine at work advised me to get a product called Snake Away at Home Depot or Lowe’s or Ace or one of the hardware stores that abound.

Snake attract!

So, I did.

They should call it Snake Crack. Because apparently, they love it.  The snakes are supposed to smell it and turn around, but the big fat one UP there was laying right IN IT!

Yeah, that was $45.00 well spent.

I did give ‘my friend’ at work some ‘feedback’ on the issue.  His advice was to ask for a refund.

Right.

Now, my gardens are pretty neat, snakes aside.  The lawn’s a mess,  grass won’t grow…too many trees. But the gardens are usually relaxing, fun, therapeutic, and all that.  And since real grass won’t grow, there’s lots of Monkey Grass…

Monkey Grass

But, other things will grow, like day lilies, hostas, and of course, copperheads!

Hostas, Day Lillies and Copperhead!

Really, it’s a wonderful place for cookouts, parties, low country boils, and the like.  We have a redneck gravel patio…

Gravel Party Area

There are paths…

Back 40

…a garden walk…

Garden Path

And the ferns look like a fairyland.

Ferns and snakes.

But, a midst all that beauty is danger!  Fat ass UP there came right out of the fern patch, and frankly, it’s putting a damper on my yard events.

And of course, with 70 trees on a 1/2 acre lot, there are spider webs galore.

Spider Web

Big, giant, spider webs that hang from tree to tree.  You know, the kind that when you run into them the neighbors call 911 because they think you’re having a seizure!  Or you’re drunk, or just doing the funky chicken for shits and giggles!

Yeah, it’s a regular Garden of Eden.

And speaking of that.  I’m sure this post about reptileacide will garner a comment or to from the “all God’s creatures” folks out there.

Please, don’t even bother!

God doesn’t like snakes either!

In Genesis 3:14, God read the serpent the ‘riot act’.  “And the LORD GOD said unto the serpent.  Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; UPon thy belly shalt thou go, and the dust of the earth shalt thou eat all the days of thy life.”

So, since there are more out there, frankly, I think I’m doing the Lord’s work!

And I totally agree with God and Jim Stafford!  I don’t like spiders and snakes!

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