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…or Oh Dad!

We”ve all said it, and most of us have heard it!

A roll of the eyes, a huff, a sigh, a down right blood curdling scream followed by an “Oh, Mom!” can be pretty annoying.

But, look back in your life and think of the things you’ve heard and you’ve said and mull them over.

It’s not just the simple, silly “Keep making that face and it will stay that way!” comments that rile the teens and tweens of the world, it’s really stupid things we say and hear.

“Do as I say, not as I do.”

Really, if it’s so stupid that I can’t do it, why are you?

“You’re the best/greatest/tops.”

They probably aren’t and it may give them a false sense of ability that puts them in a position of embarrassment.

“Stop bothering me.”

Ok, it’s too late to re-think that ‘should I have kids’ question, but you did, so let them bother away, you have to take every opportunity to teach them and to learn from them.

“You’re so clumsy/lazy/sloppy!”

Although I think most people in the world have too much self-esteem, little things like this can really hurt, and really stick.  And a lie told often enough does become the truth.  Just stay away from the name Grace if you remember yourself as a klutz!

“Stop crying.” or “I’ll give you something to cry about.”

Seriously, can YOU stop crying?  And apparently they already have something to cry about.

“Why can’t you be more like your sister.” 

This may be a tad confusing and quite frankly if you say that often enough, you don’t have a Prada Pump to stand on when he comes out in a prom dress or a cheerleading outfit.

Kids are individuals, and that’s a good thing.

A teacher who taught my daughter, once said to me UPon finding my son in her class, “They couldn’t be any more different, could they?”  Knowing where this was going, I simply replied, “Yeah, I know, isn’t it great!”

The conversation stopped!

“You know better than that!”

Maybe not.  Maybe you should take this as an opportunity to …what’s the word I’m looking for…PARENT!

“Wait til your Dad gets home.”

I’m guessin’ he’s hoping you’ll take care of it before he does, and you should.  Nipping it in the bud usually works better.  Why let the kid stew all day wondering if Dad’s gonna’ go all Rambo on him?  And you know, Dad may not have a problem with it.  Either way, you lose, and so does the kid.

“Can’t you walk any faster?”

Probably not.  Measure your legs, then measure theirs.  I’m guessing you’re a tad taller than that three year old, so he’s probably walking as fast as he can!  Slow down, smell a rose, let him look at the Lego window, and if you’re in that big a hurry, rent a stroller!  Well, unless he’s 16.  But, then he’s probably not going to the mall with you anyway, and if he does, he’ll be at least 10 stores behind you the entire trip.  What self respecting teen wants to be seen at the mall with his mom?

“Are you going out looking like that?” 

I’m guessing that was the plan.  Frankly, unless they are over-exposed, indecent, or have profanity on the T-shirt, let it go.  Purple hair doesn’t last forever, and guy-liner washes off once the other kids tell him he looks “gay”.  But, pissing Mom off, now that’s priceless!!  Give him/her the keys, make sure he/she knows not to text and drive, know where they are going, and rest assured that outfit will be in the Goodwill bag by Tuesday!

“Don’t make me turn this car around.”

They know you want to go to the mall just as badly as they do, and they know that dress/shoes/purse is on sale, and you’re not going to turn the car around…unless you see a better deal!

And for Pete’s sake, don’t do the Duggar thing and say, “Go ask your brothers!”

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