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It’s Royal Wedding week.

The most eagerly anticipated wedding happens this weekend in the stately, historic Westminster Abbey…Prince William and Catherine “Kate” Middleton, in case you’re just coming out of the coma!

One tradition anticipated by most couples and even more so by the congregation, er, that’s audience for you heathen non-church goers out there, that will be absent, is the kiss.

You know, the one that ends the ceremony and seals the wedding vows.

“Why?”,  you may querry.

The Church of England “forbids such behavior”, according to the Very Reverend and apparently Very UP-tight Dr. John Hall, the Dean of Westminster.

He’s the dude that takes responsibility for the “spiritual life” of the Abbey.

What?

It’s a building.

Quoting his stodginess, “We don’t do that in the Church of England. That’s sort of a Hollywood thing: ‘You may now kiss the bride.’ It doesn’t happen here.”

Well now, aren’t we judgemental?

Apparently, there will be a balcony kiss like the one his parents had nearly 30 years ago.  It was spontaneous, brought on by the crowd around the palace yelling, “Kiss her! Kiss her!”.  Supposedly, Diana said, “Well, what about it?”  And it was the kiss heard ’round the world.

Pretend she's Camilla, pretend she's Camilla!!

Of course, I’m sure it was nearly drowned out by Camilla’s screaming, “Off with her head!!”

But Kate and William’s kiss is planned, on the agenda, and will last 1.26 minutes. 

They’ve been practicing, you know, to get the camera angles right and all that.

Ain’t love grand?

I guess we’ll just have to wait for the movie.

Wills and Kate, wait a minute...

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