There are five siblings.

One Aunt  has three nephews and five nieces.

One Uncle has one nephew and four nieces.

One Aunt has three nephews and three nieces.

One Uncle has two nephews and four nieces.

One Uncle has three nephews and four nieces.

How many cousins are there?

A.) 32

B.) 9

C.) 8

D.) Not enough information given to figure this out.

It’s UP there, ya just gotta do the math!

The headline read:  “Man Treated For Crotch Injury Before Taken To Jail”

Well, let’s hope so!

The Athens (GA) Banner-Herald reported last week that a 52 year old man was treated for a crotch laceration before being taken to jail.

A cop with a heart, I’m moved already.

Police officers were responding to a ‘domestic disturbance’ near a mall in Athens, GA, the home of the Dawgs!

They heard  him threaten to kill someone – no wonder – and then beg for help – again…no wonder!

The man was found in a pool of blood on the bedroom floor covered with a blanket.

His story kept changing…

…”a woman kicked me”…

…”I slipped and fell”…

…”…a screen door…”

The third just might be the truth.  After all, the screen door was broken.

The officers called for an ambulance, and then found that Mr. Slicedsac was wanted on felony probation violation.

Hmmmm.

When the paramedics screeched in, the man told them he had “a big problem down there” YA THINK!

But he refused treatment asking, “Is this really necessary?”

I’m thinking yes, yes it is necessary.

He became so combative that the officers had to handcuff him and put him, bleedingbalz and all in the back of the squad car.

I’m thinking some lucky dealer in Athens has a new Impala to deliver Monday!

Once at the hospital, the injured man dragged his feet in the wheel chair to stop it from rolling.

Maybe it was the loss of blood, you know, it can keep ya from thinkin’ straight!

He spit on the cop! 

Could this get any better?

Wait for it…

He shouted profanities in the waiting room, and cussed so badly at the female nurses, that a male nurse was brought in to sew him UP!

He’s now charged with simple battery for spitting on a police officer who was brought in the relieve the first officer who was obviously worn out and worried about his car.

He was also charged with disorderly conduct and criminal trespass for breaking the door.

Oh, yes, and a probation violation.

In related news, the President of Numnads Screen Door Company, Lorena Bobbit announced today that it is recalling Model B-1765!

My copy of GQ arrived Saturday.

Yes, shocker, I’m sure, I have a subscription.

But, it is about to expire soon.

As I’m sure you’ve all heard the “children” of the corn television show GLEE are being exploited on the cover and among the pages of GQ.

The ‘watch-dog’ group, Parents Television Council has raised a bally-hoo and brouhaha about the bodacious bods bounding beyond the cover!

They have referred to it as near-ild-chay ornography-pay.

I’m typing it that way, alas, not because I’m a prude…which you may have inferred already, but because I don’t want some perv googling ild-chay ornography-pay, and coming UP with my generally family friendly blog.

But, enough about me.  Back to  Glee Q.

GQ this month as gone no further than they usually do, and the pictures inside the magazine are about as racy as a Victoria’s Secret catalogue.

Only Victoria’s Secret has no men in it.

And the only guy pictured in GQ is fully clothed.

Shocker!

Usually if they aren’t in suits, they’re in skivvies.

Just in case anyone out there in the cyberworld, or on Mars for that matter, doesn’t know, the people who ACT on Glee are actors.  For that matter, adult actors playing teenagers.

I’m sure we’ve all lied about our age at least once in our lifetime!

So, buy the magazine, don’t buy the magazine, I really don’t care…but get over it!

Oh, BTW, Mary Martin and Sandy Duncan who played Peter Pan, a boy, were women and actors as well, but neither of them could really fly!

Yesterday was  Annette Funicello’s birthday…Happy Belated to one of my favorite Mousketeers!

Now, Darlene was my FAVORITE, but my brother Charlie loved Annette.

I think I’ve figured out why!

Nonethless, Annette was the sweetheart of many a 1950s Teenage Boy.

She was the first Disney Girl to really reach superstar status.

Britany and the rest may have surpassed her in fame, notoriety, and cash…what a shame they couldn’t keep UP with her in “class”!

Happy Belated Birthday Annette!