…born in 1965, she turns 45 today.

Famous for writing the wildly popular Harry Potter series, Dame Rowling, is most noted for her rags to riches story.  She went from living on welfare to the 12th wealthiest woman in Great Britain in five years.

Seriously, now if I can just get my book published!  JK, Oprah, are you reading this?

Oh, well, Happy Birthday!

While parents are singing “It The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year”, kids are bemoaning the end of “Summer Vacation”.

Since the phrase “See You In September” no longer applies, I thought I’d get an early start on Fall Fashions for school.

“What to buy?”, you ask.

More importantly, the question is, “What not to buy?”

Here’s a tip.  If there is any doubt, don’t buy it.  Or, don’t let her/him wear it to school.

What’s in?

Suede kicks.

Khaki always works and denim as well.  Make sure they A. fit, and B. have no holes, rips and tears that show underwear. For the girls, riding boots are in, scarves, hats (most schools do not allow head coverings other than for religious purposes),  chunky gold bracelets, and the color this fall – RED RED RED!

Guys, skinny jeans are OUT!  Comfort is back, the boys need to breathe.  Not too baggy, and sagging went out when President Obama came in.

Moms and Dads, here are some guide lines to follow. 

• Not too much skin showing.
• Not too tight.
• No profanity.  (None while shopping either!!)
• No liquor referneces - sorry, this excludes most NASCAR.
• No double entendre.
• Not too short.
• Not to Abbertrampy and Skank!

Here’s another tip, that tee-shirt that has Aces on it and says “Nice Pair” is not a good idea!

Funny, yes, appropriate, NO!

Mom,

and especially Dad,

when the school calls you to bring appropriate clothing for your child who’s been “dress coded”,  don’t show UP in a halter dress or shorts with the pockets hanging out!  You may get sent home too!

Well, since you asked.

And many of you have.  What’s UP with UP?

The observant of you may have noticed that every time I use the word UP, it is in caps.

Some of you may have figured it out already.

For the rest, here’s why.

I have two nephews and four nieces.

Over the years I’ve gone from Unkie Paul, to Uncle Paul, to Crazy Uncle Paul, to simply UP.

I believe it was Jenny, my lovely niece from over at Mommin It UP who started it.

And well, it stuck.

All my nieces are lovely, all are wonderful, but Jenny got me started on this crazy ride in the blogosphere.  So, what’s UP with UP?  It’s a tribute to her, just a daily way of saying thanks for the encouragement, pimping me out to all her bloggie friends, and sharing me with her readers.

Though Jenny’s blogged about many, many things, from CVS to her grandparents, to her kids bathroom habits, I’m the only Uncle she’s blogged about – thus far.  You can check out what she’s had to say about me here.  And, she’s even let me “guest blog” on her blog!

Now you know, that’s what’s UP with UP.

I’m sure they won’t publish it, and I know it means little to anyone outside my Bronco Arena of friends, but since I have this platform, here goes.

Editor, The Gwinnett Daily Post

Lawrenceville, GA

Dear Douchebag Editor:

The headline “Family Arrested On Drug Charges” really caught my eye.   I am sure it was a realtively accurate story, of course showing the mugshots of the 17 and 19 old off-spring was a little tacky, but hey, as reported in your paper, they’ve been arrested, so who cares?  They’re probably guilty anyway. 

Yes, allegedly they had pot, yes they’ve allegedly been selling drugs for years, and yes, allegedly an anonymous tip got the Police to raid the home, and yes they allegedly found evidence of drug sales and drug paraphernalia.  But is the name of their high school all that important?

You mentioned that the young woman and the young man were students at Brookwood High School.  What is it with you and Brookwood?  No matter what happens, if it’s a Brookwood student, you mention it.  There are 20 other High Schools in Gwinnett County, and in 12 years, I’ve seen one other school, one other time mentioned in a negative news story.  That was Collins Hill, and we all know why you did that!

Let a BHS kid get locked UP, and bammo!  He’s a Brookwood Bronco – you must mention it.

And Oh My Cow – if he’s a Brookwood Bronco Football player, holy chautauqua, there’s at least another paragraph maligning the entire team all the coaches and the water-boy who are all surely guilty by association.  And if it’s a Cheerleader – holy cow!

What’s UP with that?

Your kids go to Parkview?

Seriously, it seems that the School must be responsible for the actions of the kid.  Not so.  There are over 20,000 graduates of BHS, and most of them are doing just fine, staying out of jail, working, raising families, paying taxes and buying your shoddy, pathetic, ink-bleeding rag.   

Some of them are stars; Jason Elam (who holds the record for the longest field goal in NFL history), Amy Robach of Televeison News , Jason Bulger, Jennifer Ferrin (soap opera star), Stephon Heyer, Michael Kelly,  Jackson (Amy) Pearce, Amanda Weir, Rennie Curran (UGA and Tennessee Titans), and Mansfield Wrotto to name a few!

Did I mention my kids went there, and I worked there?  Well, they did and I did, and we’re pretty proud of it!

So, the next time someone from BHS is cuffed, leave that part alone.  It’s hardly fair to paint the entire student body, staff, and faculty with the same brush!

Oh, BTW, do something about that ink problem – geez!