Oral-B Called…
Posted by PaulMay 6
…Jessica Simpson, brush your teeth….MORE!
Jessica Simpson said in an interview recently that she ‘only brushes her teeth 3 times a week, because I don’t want the whiteness to go away.’
That’s ok Jess, leave your teeth alone and they’ll leave you.
Ok, so is this girl stUPid or what?

She also said “she’s ready to give love another try.”
Well, maybe she should brush more.
Poor Tony Romo, and I never thought I’d feel sorry for John Mayer, but alas…I do!
I understand Nick Lachey a little bit more now too.
She’s also admitted her addiction problem as well.
Nicorette gum.
She’s never smoked.
Wah?
Since I never got over the “is Chicken of The Sea Chicken or Fish” question, it got me to a wonderin’.
And alas, Google has not let me down.
So, I looked some things UP.
Here are some more jewels from Jessica.
“At school my boobs were bigger than all my friends’ and I was afraid to show them. Now, I feel they make my outfits look better. They’re like an accessory.”
“Twenty-three is old. It’s almost 25, which is like almost mid-20s.”
Yeah, almost!
“I respect knowledge of the psyche. I would be a therapist if I weren’t an entertainer.”
I’m sure therapists worldwide are clearing out office space for her!
“My next album is probably going to be with Willie Nelson. I’ve been wanting to do a country record, because its just my roots.I aspire to be Patsy Cline.”
Oh, no, she did-ent!
And when introducing herself to U.S. Secretary of the Interior Gale Norton in December 2004 she said, ”You’ve done a nice job decorating the White House.”
It is pretty, ya know.
and my favorite…
“I don’t want people walking out of a movie thinking I was trying to act.”
Seriously, honey, there’s no worry there.

9 comments
Comment by Charlie on May 6, 2010 at 7:41 am
That is a funny post.
Comment by Anna on May 6, 2010 at 9:17 am
Haha, I love it. She also said that brushing her teeth makes them feel too slick.
Comment by jennifer on May 6, 2010 at 9:52 am
haha! Thanks for the laugh. Everytime I hear about this poor girl, I think somehow she has become even MORE dumb than before. somehow.
Comment by The Urban Cowboy on May 6, 2010 at 11:06 am
I wonder how much is her “pretending” to be dumb.
Comment by Cindy P on May 6, 2010 at 4:31 pm
WOW!! I do hope that there is at least some mouthwash involved on a daily basis!?!
Comment by Jana B. on May 6, 2010 at 5:23 pm
I found this sad but HILARIUOS!!! Thanks for making my day!!! Especially the part where you said ‘oh no she did-ent!’ Awesome!!
Comment by Tony P on May 7, 2010 at 11:41 pm
Damn – she makes me sound compulsive. I brush twice a day. After breakfast and before bed. I figure that gives me at least 12 hours of clean teeth. The other 12, maybe I’ll brush after a really pungent meal too.
Comment by Jenny (your lovely niece) on May 9, 2010 at 4:50 am
Oh my gosh. Thanks for your tireless research on that one, UP! Hilarious!! Yee-ikes.
Comment by Robin on May 9, 2010 at 9:51 pm
Is she really serious??? I guess so, “you’ve done a nice job decorating the White House??? PLEASE!!!!