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As you all know by now, or should know by now, my Lovely Neice, Jenny, is knocked-UP, preggers, expecting, in the family way.

And after hassling the Espresso out of her cousin, not my neice, Emily, about knowing the sex of her child, I’ve decided we need to make sure Jenny lets us know as soon as possible the gender of the awaited miracle so that we (meaning me) can help her through the treacherous and difficult waters of the naming process.

As they say, the name makes the man.

Well, if they didn’t say it, they should have.

Our family Bible is loaded with memorable and stately names, really, we have so many from which to choose.

Seriously, some of them are lovely.

We’ll start with the boys.

Charles is completely out of the question.  Charles Robert, Charles Marvin, Charles Marvin Jr, Charles Laton, and back to Charles Robert.  Not to mention several generations back a Charles Campbell, but that was his last name.  And frankly, I think that’s where this whole Charles mess started in the first place.  Just say no to Chuck!

The family palm is loaded with James, Daniels, Andrews, Johns, and Georges, so we can move on from the mundane.

There’s a Jacob or two, but alas, she has a Joshua.  Russell appears often, but Rusty Rapson sounds like a WWF fighter.  And, Oh My Cow –  don’t tell Bobby, that could be a deal-breaker!

Paul is of course lovely and would be a very touching tribute to a precious and beloved uncle, but I’d hate to be pushy. 

Alvah appears twice, but no one ever spells it right and they usually end UP getting called Alvin.  It’s just too much trouble.

There’s an Oakie, Christian, Nate, Nathanial, and several Roberts, but again…yawners!

Chalmer shows UP a time or two, but I think they may have been drinkers, and we just don’t want to take that risk.

So that brings us to the man who brought the clan (no, not the hooded kind!!) to the shores of America.  The brave, sturdy German, English, Irish, French, Swiss   pasty-white progenitor that planted potatoes and people on the rocky ridges of the Rappahannock River.

It’s settled!  He shall be called Johann Lefonius Rapson.  We can call him J-Rap for short!

And what if it’s a girl?  Well, that’s easy, Lefonius had a daughter-in-law he was partial to, her name was Euphrosina.

Pretty, no?

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