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Seems conversation and communication are on my mind lately. 

Wanna keep your job? 

Here are some “communication errors” you might wanna avoid!

The Boss is important, and there are just some things that aren’t said.

Here are a few:

Not my job!  Yeah, keep saying that and it probably won’t be much longer.  Really, I’ve always said at work,  the first line of my job description is “Do what insert boss’ name here tell me to do.”  And frankly, I’ve used that philosophy for years. 

I’ve had a job of one sort or another since I was 14 years old.  I learned early on that I need to follow directions as long as it wasn’t “immoral, illegal, or unethical”.  It may really be beneath you, but get it done, even if you have to make someone else do it.  And what’s the big deal about ethics anyway?

Not my fault!  Maybe not, but if it falls in the realm of your department and or your responsibility, then the end result is your fault.  If you’re not afraid to take the credit for all the good that comes from your department, then don’t shirk the blame!

I’ve only got 2 hands!  Well grow a pair, and do what’s needed to get the job done.  This type of statement, and there are hundreds of ways to say it, usually makes the boss feel like you’re in the mood for “Tea and Sympathy”.  And if the company is falling around him, there will be little.  So buck UP, get to work, and get things done.  You may be trying to be funny, and it may fall on deaf ears…know your audience.  He may be the “poster child for the humor impaired”.

I’m over qualified for this job.  No, no you’re not.  You may have qualifications that would allow you to do more for the company, but right now, this is what’s needed of you.  Your boss cares less about your MBA now that you’re on staff, and more about your production.  So, get to work, use that fancy schmancy edumacation of yours and find someone else to pawn the task off onto.

Anyone could do this job.  Ok, then move over!  I’m sure there are hundreds if not thousands of 50+ year olds that would love to have it since they’ve been down-sized, right-sized, displaced, surplussed screwed out of a job.

Can’t be done!  If the boss thought it couldn’t be done, he’d never have asked, unless there really is a conspiracy to get rid of you…and from the looks of things, there just might be.  If it’s needed, it can be done.  You may have to get very creative, think outside the bun, but you have to deliver.

If I were in your place… Well, you’re probably not gonna’ be sayin’ crap like that.  So keep your trap shut and bring in some results.

Not my problem.  Guess again.  If you work there, then it is your problem.  You have to be committed to the success of those around you, and you have to be committed to the success of the company.  If not, you’ll have more problems than you bargained for.

It’s not the skirt that makes your butt look big!  Do I really need to go into detail here?

When it comes to business, “See no evil, Hear no evil, and Do no evil” usually don’t apply, but “Speak no evil”…now, there’s a keeper!

Get to work!  Quit whining!

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