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My wonderful Mother turns 91 today.

 Glamourous Mother!

I’m a lucky guy.  Both my parents are still living, and they’ve been married to each other for over 70 years.

MOM AND DAD

Mother is THE most uncomplicated person I know.  And although I’m sure she wouldn’t like the delivery, the song, or the band, Lynryd Skynryd was quoting her and said it best in the song A Simple Man.  (Sorry for the shameless use of anything Skynyrd!)

She is also the smartest person I know, sorry Dad, I know you think you are, but really just listen to what she has said from time to time. 

Mama and her Not Simple Man

On my behavior:

If I can’t enjoy you, you won’t enjoy me.  (She was NOT kidding!)

I’m going to smack you into the middle of next week.  (I lost a lot of time as a child…really, I must have been a stinker!)

If you don’t quit that, your’e gonna get hurt…(again, she wasn’t kidding!)  

On couples who were, in her words, “dooley”:

Well, at least they didn’t ruin two families. 

On stupid people:

He wouldn’t know how to pour pee out of a boot if the directions were written on the heel.

On improperly clothed women:

She didn’t have on enough to wad a shotgun.

On dysfunctional relationships:

The person who cares the least in a relationship has the most control.

People who can’t trust, can’t be trusted. 

On unanswered prayers:

Sometimes, no is a good thing.

On her wayward children (from time to time we were):

If you’re not happy, it’s because you’re not happy with yourself.

And on happiness in general:

Happiness is a choice.

See, I told you she was smart.

Happy Birthday Mom!

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