…With the political whirlwind of today often times the topic of conversation at the Waffle House is, well, the news…and especially the new laws.

Every year State Legislatures nationwide come UP with new laws or make changes to laws to make them more current.  There are 40,697 new laws nationwide that take effect in 2010.

It makes sense in some cases.  There was no need for “internet” laws until we had the internet and pervs everywhere came UP with new crimes.  Ergo new laws.

2010 brings us new laws concerning tanning beds, texting, and trans fats, three of my favorite things.  And to think I voted for some of these asswipes public servants!

These are good laws, I’m too shallow to really read them completely, so I’ll take it for what it’s worth, and as usual, I’ll obey the law.

But in the rush to make new laws, some old ones get ignored…or left on the books…or forgotten…and really there are some out there that need attention.

In Georgia, we have a “few”

Georgia State Flag

For instance:

In Athens, GA it is illegal to make a disturbing noise at a fair.  Have ya been to Athens?   UGA is there, you can hear the disturbing noises all the way to the South Carolina State Line.

In Peachtree City, GA, it is illegal to be homeless.  OK, I’ve been to Stepford Peachtree City.  No one there is homeless, so it seems they are still enforcin’ that one!

In Columbus, GA it is illegal to carry a chicken by it’s feet down Broadway on a Sunday.  Seriously, how’s Granny gonna’ make Sunday Dinner without one?

And state wide in Georgia it is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body at a funeral parlor or in the coroner’s office, or take a bath in orange peel, or sit on your front porch in an indecent position or carry an ice cream cone in your back pocket.

One may not whistle loudly after 11 PM, or bury anyone under the sidewalk of a cemetary, or spit on the sidewalk after dark.  I suppose you can just hawk away all day long, but once that sun goes down, buddy hold it in!

It’s illegal for one man to be on another’s back. 

You can’t wear hoods in public (someone tell the Klan please), place a dead bird on someone else’s lawn, or have a picnic in graveyards.  Which is really funny since the American Cemetary Movement of the 19th Century designed Cemetaries so that people could have picnics “among the dead”.

You can’t spit from a car or bus, but you can from a moving truck.  Go Bubba!

You can commit simple battery if provoked by “fighting words”.  You know how it is, say Go Gators and get yer ass whupped!

And every head of household must own a firearm.  But the fine for waving it around is twice that of actually shooting it.

It’s also illegal to tease an idiot.

Oh, crap, I suppose I’ll have to quit calling my congressman!