Sometime in the 1980s, it became “the law” that folks should have a million dollars for their retirement.

Frankly, I was on my way, but then Lucent stock took a dip tumble spill nose-dive fell into the crapper.  And, alas, I don’t even open that envelope any longer.

Too depressing.

Well, now “experts” are saying that a million dollars isn’t enough.

Over 200 investment advisors were polled and they all say one million won’t cut it for the next go round.

We Baby Boomers had it better than our Depression/WW II era folks, and learning from their hardship, we “stocked” money away.

Then the criminals on Wall Street stole it all.

And you know who you are.

Generation Xers, those born in the decade following the Viet Nam war, are probably going to need TWO million.  Generation X is also called the 13th generation by some, since these kids were born during a “spiritual awakening” that produced free love, recreational drug usage, and art and movies that featured protagonists that were evil or demonic in nature. ex. Rosemary’s Baby, The Omen, etc.  Sorry – I didn’t come UP with the name.

Generation Y (and when did generations go to just Letters to define them…are we that lazy?), will probably need THREE million!!

Generation Y is the group born from 1970 to the mid 1990s. they are also called the Generation Next which is not to be confused with the Net Generation.  I’m  so glad names are back!  Some super fussbudgets claim Generation Y ends with the 1980s, and some call them Echo Boomers, since birth rates went UP.  (See paragraph above mentioning ‘free love’ – supporting a child for 18 plus years flies in the face of FREE if you ask me!!)

All the kids being born now, and since 1995 are the Net Generation, not a terribly creative name, but fitting at best since every child out there is hooked UP to at least one internet connecting device. 

Well, these kids, they’re gonna’ need FIVE million.  Wonder how that’s gonna happen in a service economy gone bad?

Like I said, I’m a million short – and a little bitter!

While at work the other day, someone said, “How many days are in March.”

I immediately went to the “knuckle method”.

I can’t remember when I learned it, but the knuckle method never fails.

Starting with the index finger, January, February, etc., the months on top of the knuckle have 31 days, and the ones in the valleys between the knuckles have 30, except for February, which we all know is screwy anyway.

It beats the “30 Days hath September, April, June and November…” deal.

It got me to thinkin’ …

We use memory joggers everyday, and we probably don’t think about doing it.  Reckon’ that’s why they’re called memory joggers?

HOMES – not just a nickname in the hood, but

H O M E S – The Great Lakes:  Huron, Ontario, Michigan, Erie, and Superior.

And what about “I before E, except after C”?

Red sky at night, Sailor’s delight, Red sky at morning, Sailor’s take warning.

Or,  My Very Excellent Mother Just Sent Us Nine Pizzas?

But, I suppose we’ll have to change that since Pluto was “let go”!

Then there’s  Mississippi – M-I-crooked letter-crooked letter-I Crooked letter-crooked letter-I humpback-humpback-I – but frankly, I think that one makes it harder.

Oh!  What about good old Roy G. Biv – Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Indigo Violet – I guess he’s somewhere over the rainbow by now. 

Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosie!  Hey, it’s not a political statement or an article about Teen Idol Singers,  but it’ is screwy!

“Eat an asprin after a nighttime snack” or Europe, Antartica, Asia, Africa, Austrailia, North America, and South America.

Of course without “Please excuse my Dear Aunt Sally”, I’d never have made it out of high school.

And remember, Never Eat Shredded Wheat!

How do you remember?

…but, is she really worth $20 million a movie?

I mean, c’mon, Enough is Enough!!

Recently, the Wall Street Journal reported that Regal Cinema Corp. is raising movie prices.

Thanks, Hollywood.  Aren’t these economic times hard enough without you screwing us out of a little more cash.

The last trip to see a movie, the name of which I no longer remember, cost me about $40.

Tickets – $20

Popcorn, Cokes, and Raisinettes, because ya gotta have ‘em - $20.

And I can’t even remember what the name of the movie was or who was in it!

With millions of people out of work, prices out of control, and the economy in the toilet, can’t Hollywood give us a break?

Really, Julia, George, Meryl, et. al.  don’t you think a pay cut is in order for you as well?  Afterall, teachers everywhere are getting furloughed!

There are disasters aplenty in Hollywood, and we all pay dearly to see them…which reminds me, the next time there’s a disaster in the world, don’t hold a telethon and ask me for money. 

You make $20 million plus per picture…you build a new school in Haiti!

Thank goodness the library’s still free!

Well, you should be!