Charles Martel rolling over in his grave.

There are 5 Million Muslims in France.

And France is just a scimitar’s breadth away from banning the Burka!

“Why?”, you ask, is this important? 

And, “Who in the name of Liza Minnelli  is Charles Martel?”

Well, it’s important for many reasons.

France is supposed to be the world’s all in compassing, welcoming, wonderful, the place of love, and all that “stuff”.

As to the Charles Martel question…

…a quick trip through the 8th Century if you don’t mind.

Charles Martel, or Charles the Hammer, was a Frankish (French) nobelman.  Many think he was and call him the King of France, but ah, not so, grasshopper.

He was but a lowly Lord of the Manor.

And he really wasn’t French, he was Belgian. (You know, like the waffle maker I want!)

And frankly, he was pretty awesome.

He called himself  The Duke and sometimes The Prince of the Franks.  He was big on Hebrew National, and was the first to ask whey do we have ten franks, and eight buns per package.

He was a brilliant general,—he lost only one battle in his “career”.  The Battle of Cologne, some say he broke his Aramis.

Considered a Founding Father of the Middle Ages, he is often accused, blamed, credited in the development of feudalism, knighthood, and the whole Chivalry thing.

And, since he was Charlemagne’s grandfather, he’s credited with founding the Holy Roman Empire, (Which I might add, was neither Holy nor Roman, and was barely an empire.)

Nonetheless, Chuck was vitally important to all of Europe and the Western world.

The Umayyad invaders were used to simple Barbarians in Eastern Europe and Spain.  The Hammer’s organized, trained, army was quite a shock!  He, The Hammer,  kicked some Saracen Ass at Tours, said “can’t touch this”, and prevented the Muslim Invasion of Europe and the expansion of the Muslim Empire. 

So, the fact that there are five million Muslims in France, would, let’s see, ummmm, make Le Hammer “tres pissed off”, to say the least.  Not that he was a religious Intolerant, after all, he did let the Protestants and AnaBaptists Pray before he killed them too.

So, back to the 21st Century and the Banning of the Burka.  (France has already banned the Burkini, a full body bathing suit on beaches…after all they did create the Nude Beach at Nice!)

 So, again, why would France ban the burka?

Fashion may be France’s number one priority, but the burka and what it represents “is not welcome in France, and is an attack on French values” according to French President Nicholas Sarkozy.  That whole “French values” thing was really hard to type!

For a nation whose national emblem is “Marianne”, a bare chested woman (most recent copies are based on Catherine Denurve, but the real one came into being long before she was born), concern is growing over the head to toe garb which is usually black or brown, worn with gloves, and is more typical of Saudi Arabia than the streets of Gay Paree!

It is also viewed by millions in France and other places as the emblem of Radical Islam. 

Most of the French see it as an attack on sexual equality, women’s rights, most (again, tee hee) French values, and a jab at the French Republic’s secular foundation.

Remember, after the French Revolution, religion was taboo, marriage was a civil union, and the clergy were stripped of power and possessions. 

A huge part of me says “Go France”. 

And France really has given so many things to the world; Fashion, which we all know is tres important to UP, Fragrance, yes, I wear cologne!, Dry cleaning – who could live without it?, The Metric System, ok that’s not so great. French Fries, Brigette Bardot, and who could forget surrender?

I don’t mean to profile, but if Fatimah comes into the bank while I’m standing in line, and she’s dressed from brow to bottom in a black burka, UP is gonna’ hit the floor.  And if she’s at the airport, I’m hittin’ the Hertz Counter and driving my butt to wherever I’d planned on going.  The Burka scares me too.

So, I say let’s give this one to the French.  They may have dropped the ball on leg warmers in the 80s, but this is a good idea, and maybe they’ll ban those new Goga pants from Old Navy too!

…why,

There’s a sanitary disposal box in the men’s room?

When you are a teenager, your school is the only school?  All the others are losers?

There are no warning lables on liquor?  I mean, really, did you ever smoke four Winstons and run over a family of five?

It costs a million dollars for a gas cap sized Coke sticker on a NASCAR car, but we have to pay $99.99 for a Coca Cola Jacket?

People start some mean thing with “I don’t mean to be rude, but…”

Blondes want black hair and brunettes want blonde?

Potato isn’t spelled with and e?

We can put a man on the moon, but the DOT can’t get the bridge the same level as the highway?

Full is the only word in the English language that ends in full?

A refrigerator is called a refrigerator and not a frigerator?

Any one ever leaves Jennifer Aniston?

Paris Hilton gets any attention?

Why people believe the adage “What does not kill us makes us stronger.”  (Nietzsche never had heart surgery!)

Why youth is wasted on the young?

Why other people are always telling you what’s good for you?

Why there are 10 hotdogs in a package and only 8 buns?

We invaded Iraq and not Saudi Arabia?

Jay Leno didn’t know that format wouldn’t work in Prime Time?

Why my killer sperm post got little response when I thought it was hilarious?

Why my post yesterday on the double standard was not taken tongue in cheek as it was meant?

How I ever got to my 100th post – THIS IS IT!!

Just wondering!!

Can we talk about the “double standard”? 

I know, you’re saying, “Which double standard?”

I agree, there are far too many.

There really are far too many, and I could address several…

…but for now, try this one…

Ever hear a woman say, “Isn’t that just like a man?”?

I’m sure you have…I’m sure you may have said it.

And I’ll admit, stereotypes are there because they’re there.

At a business meeting back in the day when I had a “real” job, one of the big boys was working the remote for the presesntation when a female corporate Vice President said, 

 ”Isn’t that just like a man, they always have to have the remote.”.

Now, I personally believe that it is written somewhere in the Bible that the man should have the remote.  And frankly, women do not know how to work them.  I’m sure it’s because we’ve controlled them for so long that the evolutionary process has deleted that from the very DNA of the female.   So, guys, I’m sure it’s our fault.  Why not, everything else is.

It got me to thinking, and this is dangerous ground.  But if a MALE corporate Vice President had said, “Isn’t that just like a woman?” ,  there would have been attorneys, court dates, settlements, early retirements, and general mayhem.

I bring this UP, simply because after nearly 40 years of “sensitivity” training, diversity training, treating others with respect seminars, co-worker team building sessions, and media attention…it is still going on.

Are major corporations wasting their money on all this?

Probably.

People are people, people are going to say insensitive and ignorant things.  Maybe we need to just take it for what it’s worth and learn something about the person who’s saying it.

Maybe it’s just our plain old human selfishness to think we know better than someone else, aren’t like the typical woman/man, which ever the case may be.  Or maybe it’s really the way it is, and we just need to get over it.

Am I advocating saying what’s on your mind?

Yes!

That way we’ll know instantly how you really feel.

And we know what you really believe, and know just how far we should stay away from you!

So, speak your mind!

 It’s a know fact that women live longer than men.

Why you ask?

We’ve always been lead to believe that women are harder to live with, and men just die to get out of it.

And for years men have claimed that they work harder, worry more, and die younger because of it.

Maybe not so true.

A new study by the Japanese, recently published in Human Reproduction, a magazine I’m sure you all have on the coffee table, claims genes in sperm may be the determining factor in why women live longer than men.

Tomohiro Kono, a professor at Tokyo University and Saga University’s Manabu Kawahara discoverd that female mice produced from ‘genetic material’ from two mothers, but not from a father, lived a longer life (significantly) than the mice with the normal mix of “mom and pop” genes.

Oh Crap, Johnny really does have two mommies!

The “bi-maternal” mice came about when the two aforementioned scientists, who obviously have a God Complex and too much time on their hands, manipulated the DNA in mouse eggs.  All this manipulation made the genes go a little crazy, and they behaved like sperm. 

Go figure!  Killer sperm!

Once Tomo and Manny figured out how to do this, (and they aren’t telling anyone how they did it) the pseudo-sperm or “material” was implanted into unfertilized female mice eggs to create embryos. 

Again, they ain’t sayin’ how.

The “bi-maternal” mice lived 186 days longer than the “mom and pop” mice.

Now, I realize this is sounding more and more like a Japanese Horror Movie script, but really, this is some scary science here.

Researchers believe the real difference could be the fault of a gene called Rasgrf1. 

Discovered while the University Boys were enjoying a Bob Marley CD and smoking a bowl of Ganja, Rasgrf1 is located on the number nine Chromsome.   Rasgrf1 is associated with “post-natal” growth and normally “expresses”(whatever the heck that’s supposed to mean)  from the paternally inherited chromosome. 

So, to translate, Daddy’s genes are killin’ me!

According to one theory, males have bigger bodies in order to win out in the race for breeding opportunities (cruising singles’ bars) and thus “scatter their genes”.

Or,  ”Sewing thier wild oats.”

What’s the price for said spreading/sewing?

Well, other than penicillin, most likely a shorter lifespan.

Females, the object of man’s desire or prey, do not have to enter this beauty pagent, and thus save up thier reproductive output to do silly things like, deliver babies (labor), nurture babies (breast feeding), and hunt for food (shopping) , as well as avoiding preadators (bullies, short tempered dads, obnoxious little league moms, slutty teenage girls, etc.), thus allowing them to live longer…although I still don’t know how.  Those little league moms can be hell on wheels!

So, guys, if the fact that your wife is probably going to outlive you, which is in and of itself a little depressing, isn’t bad enough, the fact that it’s not her fault just ices the cake.

You might want to give your dad a call today, you know, to thank him for the sperm gene, the one that’s killin’ ya!