…and I think I’ve found the proof.

First of all, my philosophy; unless there’s a wedding cake, coffin, college diploma, or court date, there is no neck tie!

My applogies to my brother and his sons on the math thing, but really…

… Divide using the synthetic division. 

(3x² +4x) / (x +5) = ?

I am still trying to figure out why I would care.  And on top of that, I won’t even wear synthetic fibers, much less divide using synthetic division!

It was recently explained to me that the difference between Arithmetic and Math is that Arithmetic uses the four functions,( +,-,x,/), while Math requires higher thinking, 

Here’s an example of higher thinking…

Find the number of possible positive real zeros and the number of possible negative real zeros for f(x) = 4x⁴ – 13x^{3 –}  21x²   +  38x -  8m

According to Descartes’ Rule of Signs, the number of positive real zeros is the same as the number of sign changes in the coefficients of he terms in descending order or is less than this by an even number…AND IT GOES ON, AND ON, AND ON.

How, I ask is this going to help me balance my check book?

I don’t want to think this high.

I have a theory if you will. 

Ever seen a math teacher without a necktie?

My High School Math teacher, Mr. Matthews…always had a tie on.

That’s right…it’s restricted blood flow to the brain that makes them come up with all this stuff.

 Math guy, uptight, necktie, thick soled shoes.  He gives us this:

(3x² +4x) / (x +5) = ?

Some say… The Necktie was invented during the French Revolution, when folks were being marched to the guillotine by the cartload.  Its purpose was for burials, it was used to keep the head from rolling around. (Ah, the French…fashion conscious to the end…literally.)  People thought it looked so good on the corpses, that many of the well dressed men dared to wear them.   This is one theory, there are a million of them. 

Some give it to the Chinese Emperor, Shih Huang Ti.  Shihti, as he was called when in grade school, was so afraid of death, he wanted to take an army with him.  After hearing of this plan, his generals got together and said, “Ah…No!  I don’t think soooooo!”.   After an evening of Sake, imported from Japan, hookers from Hong Kong,  and a little soothing sitar music from India, the Generals convinced him to make statues of the army to protect him.  The one similarity, they each had a neck cloth (tie).  I’m pretty sure once the Clay Army was in place, good old Shihti got one too many ‘ludes’  in is tea and drifted off to eternity.

Now, since the French Revolution was a bad idea.  (Marie Antionette was really a pretty nice gal, and poor Louis was just misguided and a little slow.)  And the Chinese Emperor was apparently a crackpot; I can’t imagine anyone but Old Nick himself putting either idea in someone’s mind.  I say the correlation is just too close.  After all, who always gets the blame for the suffering of the world? 

The devil. 

Ergo, Math and Neckties are of the devil.

Happy Fashion Friday