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…my appologies to all the OZZIES out there…it was just toooooooo good to pass up!

A friend of mine, and a faithful reader, said to me today, “I keep waiting for Tiger!”

So, I thought, why not! 

Now, I really had planned to stay away from the story, but…since there really isn’t much going on elsewhere in the world, you know, no wars, no famine, no hurricanes, no murders, no rock stars dying/drinking/rehabbing, etc…why not…let’s talk about the fact the Tiger can’t keep it in his pants.

And it is quite the story.

One not unlike others in many ways, but filled with drama, irony, and…oh yes…my favorite…SCANDAL!!

First of all, drama.  Every one was “Oh, Tiger was in a car wreck, hope the poor baby is ok.”

Then there was, “What?  She hit him with his own golf clubs? ”  Irony even Dickens would get.

And then, the SCANDAL.  Or from the days of Debbie-Eddie-Liz-Richard. Le Scandale! (For the readers who are too young to have heard, or completely clueless, Debbie-Eddie-Liz-Richard was the biggest scandal of the 1960s, and there would be no paparazzi if it weren’t for them.)

Well, back in the 21st Century,  the bimbos er…contestants…er women are coming out of the wood work.  Looks like Tiger just might rival Wilt Chamberlain…ok, not really, but apparently there is more than one!

I’m pretty much media greedy, shamelessly self promoting, and ALWAYS trying to get my name out there…but I pale (and that’s a stretch with this tan) in comparison to these girls.

More on that in a minute. 

When Tiger came whipping out of his Windermere, Florida driveway at 2:20 AM,

Woods Accident Golf

ran over a fire hydrant, and passed out…who knew?  We just thought it was another “athlete gone wrong drinkin’ drivin’ wreckin'” country song.  But alas….enter Le Tigress…AKA. Elin Nordegren, AKA, Mrs. Tiger Woods.

Seems as though a tiff was a takin’ place at the Central Florida Isleworth Woods’ Mansion, and Elin’s first report that she smashed the windows out of the SUV to help Tiger get out, just might not be the case. 

Maybe…more like a scene from “Waiting To Exhale”.

So, after a few days and realizing it’s all gonna’ come out anyway, The Tiger fessed up. 

In a 317 word statement on his website, he said in part “…I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone.” 

We all know that’s not going to happen.

Why, you querry?

Well, here’s one reason…

RACHEL-UCHITEL

Former coctail waitress, nightclub manager, and “event” planner who claims to have been Tiger’s one or two or three or ad infinitum night stand.  Of course, that was after days of saying No, No, No!  I never had sex with that man. 

And then there’s this reason…

JAIMEE GRUBB

Meet Jaimee Grubbs…former cocktail waitress and Tool Academy* “STAR”.  This one claims to have been Tiger’s mistress, implying an ongoing affair…for 31 months…can you say PALIMONY…and she’s saved her voice mail messages and racy texts from the golf pro and ‘world’s best athlete’.  

Gosh, Technology can be such a be-ahtch!

And, there may be more.

Think about it.  On the road all the time, rich, good looking, and of course there are no ‘gold diggers’ out there.  What’s a ‘horny-pre-mid-life-crisis-man’ to do?  Ummm…I don’t know…keep it in  your pants!

Now, IF, he had an affair/s, I’m not condoning them…and frankly this puts him on a plane with ‘El Gosselin’.  But both parties in the relationship are responsible?    These ladies, and I’m only guessin’ at that term, went into the relationship with Tiger knowing what they had to gain and what they had to lose. 

Tiger did the same.

Tiger’s loss – reputation, a few fans, and $300 million dollars if Elin walks.  Latest news reports have Elin renegotiating her pre-nup.  She was to get $20 million after 10 years of marriage in the first pre-nup…now, she’s looking at a $5 million dollar instant payout, with $55 million if she stays for another seven years.  

Well, I suppose everyone has a price.

That’s Tiger’s loss, what about the ladies?

I’m guessin’ the reputation was long gone before they got to Tiger, and we all know what they have to gain.

Their price – fifteen minutes of fame.

Oh, yes, The Woods just posed for their Christmas Photo…can’t wait to get mine!

Merry Christmas

*As to “Tool Academy”…they, themselves refer to their stars as ‘tools’, which are ‘the narcissistic, self-important, egocentric, self-satisfied men and women who believe their greatest contribution to the world is themselves.”  Wonder how I get on there?

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